Rensselaer Republican, Volume 19, Number 38, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 26 May 1887 — The Lime-Kiln Club. [ARTICLE]

The Lime-Kiln Club.

“If Brudder Coincidence Jackson am back dar’ by de stove I should like to sjieak a few words to him,” said Brother Gardner as the meeting opened. Coincidence ha 1 just taken off one shoe and sock to agitate his chillblains, but after a few hurried motions he came to the front and the President continued: “Brudder Coincidence, has anything happened to you lately?” “Yes, sah—l'se got religun.” “So I imderstan’. You’ve alnioas’ made up your mind to go fo’th ami preach, dey tell me ?” “Yes, sah. I’se jist waitin’ ’till I git some money ahead. ” “Brudder Coincidence, let me advise wid you. People often make mistnkesin sich things. Now, in the fust place, try yer religion an’ see if it stands de tests. “Has yer change of heart i ; esnlted in yer payin’ up any outlawed debts ? “Do you do any less poundin’ an' sw’arin’ when dat ole mule o’ your gits stalled in de mud? “Am yon firmly decided in your mind dat if you find a wallet in de road you will return it to de owner? “Kin you see your naybnr v grain his front doah, put up new curtains an’ sot out an iron hitcliin’ post widout.foolin' envious of his luck ? . . . “If you was gwine to trade mules wid Compromise Taylor, who libs Tongside of you, an' am nigh-sighted, would you conceal de fackt da* your beast am blind in one eye an’ has got twentyseven different spavins? . “If you am paid a quarter too much in makin’ change am you gwine to keep it, an’ if you git stuck wid a bogus quarter am you gwine to work it off on somebody else?

“Doan* be in a hurry, Brudder Coincidence, to believe an’ announce to de world dat you lias got religun. It ar de easiest thing in de world to git fooled on.“ AV ait an r test yerself. You may stan’ ebery test an’ come out pure gold, or you may fail on ebery one. , An’ in ease it turns out dat you has religun—de real religun—doair be in a sweat to go out an’ preach to your feller-men. De res’ of us ain’t in any nio’ danger dan we was befo’, an’ it will be a qneshun whether you can’t help de Lawd mo’ by stayin’ right at home an’ takin’ car’ of yer family while somebody else does"de preachin’. You kin naw sot down, Brudder Coincidence, an’ I trust you will turn dese remarks an’observasliuns obey in your mind an’ giv dem due reflexun. ” Detroit Dree Press.