Rensselaer Republican, Volume 19, Number 36, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 12 May 1887 — The Rev. Whangdoodle Baxter on “Laffture.” [ARTICLE]

The Rev. Whangdoodle Baxter on “Laffture.”

Ter lass or not ter lass, dat’s de queshun. Dar ar times when hitS mighty inconvenient ter lass bery loud; fer instance, when dars plummers in de cellar and yer wife am bizzy cleanin’ house. De happiest fokes am dose what don’t try ter be happy. Happiness ain’t got no reglar postorifice address. Hit am mighty close at hand, like de ole woman’s specs, what she hunted forallober de house while dev was hanging on her nose. Some folks seems ter be happy when dey am in up ter dar necks in misery, jess as de shiny dress boot often kivers a silent corn what stingeth like a sarpent and biteth like an adder. Dars some folks what can’t lass. Es a young pusson has burnt all the har offen her forehead with a hot lead pencil, but can’t afford to buy a row ob curls ter kiver de burnt destricts, she ain’t gwinter lass ter hurt. De ooman ob fashin who, while bathin’ in de surf, loses her false tees, ain’t gwinter bust out inter a haw-haw. De boy what had entertained de angel cucumbers onawares, he don’t smile much. Es he does he don’t mean it. We should nebber borrer trubble, bekase dars so many folks who am anxious to gib us all de trubble we kin handle. Nebber borrer what folks am willin’ ter gib yer. De laster ob some folks lacks seberal inches ob bein’ a yard wide. I knowed ob a case whar a man luff his property ter de man what laffed de mos at de obsequious. His ole granfadder got away wid all de property by fillin’ hisses full er laffin’ gas. De smile ob some folks don’t las long. Hits like a ray ob sunshine on an iseburg. On de udder hand, after a young lady has met a handsome young man wid whom she am erquainted,, de smile hangs on her face for more den half an hour. —Texas Siftings.