Rensselaer Republican, Volume 19, Number 28, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 17 March 1887 — THE SCISSORS. [ARTICLE]

THE SCISSORS.

'* . £ Dolly's Inquisitiveness. “Mama,” said littly Dolly Pretzel, the other (lav, “who is the King of tho Catmubial Highlands, that George sings so mnch about?” “I don’t know, Dolly,” replied his mama. “Brigham Young used to b 6.” —Carl Pretzel's National Weekly. Our Navy, Oil, Onr Navy! AMERICAN. 1 01- what is it, dear Undo Sam, That'mokes yon “slightly" worry? What i« it that you should condemn And doit in a hurry? Oh what is it that uia- os f ilks laugh, And other Nations "tfoot at us, And take the upperhand ; then chaff If you once hint about a fuss? 1 UNCLE SAM. I see it all—the weakly thing— Those boats of ours so quavy, We ought to lire it ere tts spring— Our Navy, oh; our Navy ! —Electric Light. The Way of the World. Anxious Daughter—Mother, did papa have his salary increased when he was married? Omaha Matron —No, my child. “I don’t suppose he had any money saved up, did he ?” “Not a penny; he spent all he earned.” . “Did he get along comfortably?” “Wo were very happy.” i “Well, you know, George ha n’t been able to save a cent, but ” “See here, if that poverty-stricken fellow dares to show his face here again I’ll get your father to kicK him out." — Omaha World. He Suffered. “So you’ve been out West?” he queried of a citizen who returned the other day. “ 1 es. ” “Lots of snow out there?” “Millions of acres. I was snowbound on a train fifteen hours. There were twenty-two ballet-girls in my car. ” “And your wife was with you?” “Alas, yes!” “Great Scott! but how you must have suffered!”— Detroit Free Press. Then and Now. “I have found a letter from a woman in your pocket,” said a jealous wife to her husband. “It is signed ‘Annie,’ too It is bad enough for you to be running around after other women, without getting hold of one who has my name.” “Did you read it?” he inquired. “Yes, and it is perfect y sickening in its love talk. The shameless creature who conld write such a letter ought to bo sent to the penitentiary. ” “Did you notice the date ?” “No," but I will. Why, it is dated October 3, 1873.” “Yes, my love; it’s one of the dear old love letters you wrote me before we were married.” — Drake's Magazine.