Rensselaer Republican, Volume 19, Number 18, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 6 January 1887 — How to Open Oysters. [ARTICLE]

How to Open Oysters.

“Talk of opening oysters,” said Old Hurricane, “why, nothing is easier, if you only know how.” “And how’s how?” inquired Starlight. “Scotch snuff,” answered Old Hurricane, sententiously; “Scotch snuff, my boy. Bring a little of it over so near their noses and they’H ’sneeze? their lids off.” “I know a gentleman,” observed Meister Karl, “who has a better plan than that. He spreads the oysters in a circle, seats himself in the center, and begins spinning a yarn. Sometimes it’s an adventure in Mexico, sometimes a legend of his loves, sometimes a marvelous stock operation in Wall strefet. As he proceeds the ‘natives’ get interested; one by one they gape with astonishment tremendous and direful whoppers which are poured forth. Then, as they open their mouths my friend whips ’em out, peppers ’em and swallows ’em.” “That’ll do,” said Starlight, with a long sigh; “I wish we had a bushel of ’em here now—they’d open easy!”— The Argonaut.