Rensselaer Republican, Volume 19, Number 17, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 30 December 1886 — A Clean Beat. [ARTICLE]

A Clean Beat.

Man (to friend) —“My uncle has made a fortune.” Friend—“ Speculations ?” “No, literary work.” “\\ ’y, I didn’t know he was a literary man. I received a letter from him once, and it struck me that he couldn’t write a grammatical sentence.” "Don’t believe he tan.” “And yet he lias made a fortune by literary work!” “Yes, sir.” “How do you account for it ?” “Why, you see, he was a General in the raiv." “Yes.” “Got into a skirmish once, and has written it up for a magazine. He showed remarkable enterprise in making a clean beat, for none of the newspapers had mentioned the fight.”—Texas Siftings. Me. L. D. Yinson, Cashier D. & I. E. K., has tried and indorses Ked Star Cough Cure. She Meant Well. Young Hoyne avenue wife to husband Charlie, I mado a lovely purchase for you to-day. Young husband—Necktie ? Young wife—And I got them so cheap, too—such a lovely bargain. Young husband—Suspenders ? Young wife—. And it is such a saving, too—so much cheaper than you are in the habit of getting them for. Young husband (reading answer in the stars) —Onions? Young wife i convulsed with laughter) —What a poor guesser you are, (’liarley. Just think of it; I bought a whole box of cigars for sl, and they’re such lovely ones, too. Young husband (returning to his paper)—l thought so.— Chicago Horakl. Young or middle-aged men, suffering from debility or kindred affections, t-hould address with 10 cents m stamps.for large treatise, World’* Ilisponsary Modical Associat.on, Buffalo, N. Y. Young Indies pjpile n p more on Wales, He is fat, and, horrors! threatened with gout.