Rensselaer Republican, Volume 19, Number 17, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 30 December 1886 — Not a Speculator. [ARTICLE]

Not a Speculator.

"Pa, ” said tlie speculator’s sou,' “I want some money for a little speculation. ” “I am pleased, my boy,” returned the father, as he fished a five-dollar bill from his pocket, “to see that you are taking an interest in the business affairs of life. Now, I won’t ask you what this speculation is, but I will go halves with you on it. I will furnish the money and you engineer the business, and we will go halves on the profits. Of course, t if there jiro none I lose my money and you your time.” ‘•‘AH right, pa. I’ll make the investment to-day and report progress tomorrow. ” The next evening when the father returned home he inqnired about the “deal.” “Swamped!” was the sententious re* mark of the youth. "Swamped!” exclaimed the old gentleman in surprise. “Yes, swamped!” replied the boy. “Never saw such a decline in stocks in my life. Shrunk clear out of sight It was a good investmentyesterday goods worth their face value then, but to-day you couldn’t give them away. ” “But for heaven’s sake, Georgie, what did yon invest in ?” “Theater tickets for last night’s performance. ” The old man thought very hard for a time, and then expressed himself to the effect that the boy was fitted for a confidence operator rather thau a speculator. ___ Anna—How I do love pets! Before T was married I always had a monkey. Arthur—And what have you now? Anna—You I