Rensselaer Republican, Volume 18, Number 46, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 22 July 1886 — River Experience. [ARTICLE]

River Experience.

The owner of aMissouri River steamboat line, who lives in a Dakota town on that river, was approached by a man who applied for the position of Captain on one of the boats. “What are your qualifications for the place?” asked the boat owner. “Well, I’ve run on the river for over thirty years.” “Is that so? Let me see; suppose you were trying to make a landing and saw that the boat wasn’t coming up to the shore just as it should, what would you do?" “I should lean over the rail and say: 'Here, you lazy roustabouts, bring ’er round _________ f> W ' ,■ . “That’s good. If you got aground on a bar, what then?” “I’d take my coat right off and stand in the middle of the hurricane deck and talk like this: * ; —tt “Yes, yes, that’s all right. Suppose your boat gets afire ?” “In that case I always head her for the nearest land and use this formula on the crew: ‘ ! ———ll _ : j j!’ » “Well, sir, you'te the man I want, just name your wages!” said the owner of the line, getting up excitedly. “What I’ve been,looking for all winter is a man who has had big experience on the Missouri, and I see you fill the bill exactly!" —Estettiiie Bell. A venerable old man says: “Let the slandered take comfort—it’s only at fruit trees that thieves throw stones.'