Rensselaer Republican, Volume 18, Number 33, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 22 April 1886 — A Disgusted Showman. [ARTICLE]

A Disgusted Showman.

“My dear friend,” said a long-haired countryman to the biographical expounder of a dime museum, “is that unfortunate being really a cannibal?” and he indicated a South Sea islander from Cork who was sitting on a divan. “Yes, sir, that great living curiosity was captured while in the act of roasting a Presbyterian missionary over a slow fire.” —, - ' --__v “Great heavens!” gasped the countryman, “can’t you convert him?” “Convert him!” said the biographer, with disgust. “Bo you s’pose the great American public would pay ten cents to see a Christian?”— Pittsburgh Dispatch. .Chronic nasal catarrh —guaranteed cure—Dr. Sage’s Catarrh Remedy. When a miner has been eaten by a grizzly the Western people speak of him as being ad! nutted to the b’ar. The longest pole knocks the persimmons, and Bigelow's Positive Cure knocks all coughs, colds, croup, hoarseness, bronchitis, asthma, influenza, and consumption. Pleasant for children. Safe and speedy. 50 cents and $l- - New York papers say there is not swell enough now on Broadway to make any one see sick’. ' To Keep the Blood Pure and the bowels •will regulated, be careful of your diet; do not use rum or tobacco, and take occasional doses of Vinegar Bitters. Perfect health must follow such a course. The range of diseases that can bo relieved by the use of Vinegar Bitters* is literally without lim.t No, Jimmy; peacocks do not lay colored Easter eggs .—Maverick. Had a. bilious attack and one of those indescribable cases of constant weariness. Took quinine and other remedies Without relief. Took Dr. Jones’ Red Clover Tonic: am strong and well Asa Thompson, Logan. Ohio. The value of medical treatment is the prico you pay the doctor. Not a faded or gray hair to he seen alter using Hall’s Hair Itenewer. If there is a bustle in the land it never comes to the front