Rensselaer Republican, Volume 18, Number 31, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 8 April 1886 — ’Squire Hobbs’ Filosofy. [ARTICLE]

’Squire Hobbs’ Filosofy.

Despare am de gatewa tu insanity. De Her am a twin bnidder ob de theaf. Filosofy am de kee tu Natur’s privat lybrary., Humensimpathy am de motiv powr eb sibilizashun. It am a lammentibel fac’ dat nun but de good boyz ebber dy. , It neber paz tu be 2 greedy. De big orranj am not de sweetes’. Vise am an illejitermate chile ob sosiety, an’ disipashun am its fodder. Intelligens am de fodder of ability, an’ mqrpallity am de niudder ob justis. Es yon am a little man, doan’ be discurrajed. De dog am mitier dan de steer. A bawky mule ma be lazyvbut it am alwaz bes’ tu keep on de off sid ob de kickin’ port De fassest boss doan- alwayz win de rase; Jikewiz de bes’ man doan’ alwaz git de offiis. De differens atweene a dood an’ a munky am dat a dood haz a kane an’ a munky haz a tale. ' It am a peculeyer sac dat de lazy boy. am mos’ always de wup wot firs’ ketches de rabbet. Es ebery boddy wuz ob de same opinyun wot a lot ob party babies dere wood be in dis Wort’. Bull-dOgz, s hot-gunz an’ stogy butes hab brok more harts dan ail odder thingz kumbined. - , - ----- . - Sum wun haz sed dat a red-hedded man am meek, but I fine dat if am de rewerse wif a red-hedded'oman. Filosofy haz nebber yetbinable to explane de peculeyer magnettik dttrackshun atween a nigger an’ a hen. A dishones’ man am like a pitcher wifout a handel: you kan’t trus’ hitii onles you grip him wif bofe hans. Sum folks lib in dis worl' like de man wot kummensed his dinner on py an’ kake an’ finished up on bred an’ ’lasses. Sum men git so ful ob kussedness dat it skarez de hare offen de top of der hedz, while wot’s lef’ turns pail wif frite. POAN' let yure hart git kankered wif enwiusness: de nigger wot fingerz de banjo de bes’ kan’t alwaz finger de mos’ taterz out ob de groun’. It am sed dat bibelz, skulez, an’ wimmen am de grate sibillizerz ob de worl’, but Ise inklined tu think dat it am peech trees, shingelz an’ slipperz. Obzerwashun hab konwinsed me dat a kat‘kin set more-kubik feat ob air a wibratin’ tu de kubik inch ob kat dan enny odder libbin’ creetur a top ob de yeath. De man wot kin milk a breechy kow, put up a stov-pipe, or tac down a karpet wifout usin’ kuss wordz, am entitled tu a reserbed seet in heaben up klose tu de orkestra. An ole batchellar am -lik a kite wilbut string er tale. No man kin sale sukseesfully tn prosperrity wifout he am pilitted by a wixtuus wif an’ tide doun by a lot ob bloomin’ responsibillitiez. - - ~ .. .