Rensselaer Republican, Volume 18, Number 26, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 4 March 1886 — A Few Pointed Remarks. [ARTICLE]

A Few Pointed Remarks.

It ain’t always the best rooster that crows the loudest. It ain’t always the best wife that talks the sweetest. It ain’t always your best friend that has the most gush. It ain’t always the new broom that sweeps the cleanest. It ain’t always the cunningest fox that ketches the fattest goose. It ain’t always the best husband that makes the biggest promises. It ain’t always the man with the biggest stomach that can hold the most licker. I kno a grate menny men that get a verry good livin by mlndin their own bissiness. “It is better to give than to receive.” I should think so myself if I was to get into a row. If we could keep our wishes down to onr means when we can’t raise our means up to our wishes, there would be more contentment in the world. If you want to pratice ekonomee in your household affairs, use the same quantity ov things when they’re cheap as you do when they’re deer. It would be a happy thing for us if we could enter on a new life when we enter on a new year, burying our past sins, as the days ov the p.:st yeer are bury’d never again to rise. Es you want to be popular, and be called a “clever fellow,” keep a demmyjohn of whisky, and segars in yure house to treat your friends. There’s a gratemany ways to the hart, but I’ve remark’d that the nearest way is through the mouth. There’s a grate taanuy sorts ov folkes and a grate manny sorts ov roses in the world. And it wouldn’t be fare to condem all the roses, an’ say there ain’t no fragrance in enny ov th.-un, because the one you plucked had thorns and hurt vonr fingers. —Seth Slocum, in Yonkers Gazette.