Rensselaer Republican, Volume 18, Number 22, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 4 February 1886 — A Playful Goat. [ARTICLE]

A Playful Goat.

Once ih a while a thing will happen op. the street so ridiculous as to cause those yho witness it to remember it to their dying day. Indeed, so comical is the sight that wejre they to call it to mind at a funeral, they would laugh in spite of themselves. Such a scene was recently witnessed over on the west side by a street-ear load of people, as well as several pedestrains who happened along at that moment. A prominent west side society lady was walking quietly along in an absent minded sort of way, when suddenly a handsome large goat of the “Billy” spicies hove in sight and came galloping toward the lady with an I-own-the-street-expression ip his large, liquid, fawn-like eyes. Anyone at all familiar with the habits of our American goat is aware that in a case of this kind the safest place to get is on top of a high board fence, but the lady in question had probably never associated with goats to any great extent, and so when he came charging down upon her, as she quietly backed up in a corner of the fence, spread her umbrella before her ass he would a shield, and bravely stood her ground, undoubtedly thinking that the act would frighten his goatship, and leave her in full possession of the field. .Those who witnessed the charge say that on sight of the umbrella the goat fairly smiled for joy, but whether that be so or not is hard to say; may be they imagined that he smiled, but nevertheless, he raised upqn his hind legs as if he enjoyed the joke hugely, and then as though changing his mind he suddenly straightened out stiff as a frozen cat, and made a dead center shot upon the umbrella with his head. It was very evident that the lady was unprepared for this, for she got down upon all fours and yelled like a Comanche Indian with a flock of hornets browsing upon different portions of his anatomy. A gentleman, also well-known in society, came rushing up at this moment, and without paying any attention to the goat, who was quietly munching away upon the contents of one of the lady’s packages, which, to the occupants of the car, looked very much like new underwear of the, female persuasion, proceeded to assist the unfortunate lady to her feet. The goat seemed to know what was coming, and watched the man out of the corner of his eyes till his position was such that a well directed blow from behind would drive the man head first through the fence. As the man was just about to lift the lady to her feet the goat seemed to be satisfied with his position, and after biting off the undergarment that lie was chewing, part of wliieh was already doyvn his throat, ho snorted, shook his head, hand shot through the air with a swiftness that made the wind fairly whistle as it blew through his whiskers. There was a muffled sound not tmlike the proverbial “dull thud,” and once more the lady bit the dust, jwhile the .only thing that saved the gentleman who so galantly came to the rescue from having a broken head was his plug hat, which came between his cranium and the fence. Once more the lady yelled from “do” to high C, while the man said “so boss, so boss,” but “Billy” wasn’t that kind of a boss. He seemed to feel insulted to think that anybody would spring a foreign language upon him, and to demonstrate his feel[ings he let go again just as the gentleman was trying to arise, and basted him in the name locality as on the former triii. Probably if it hadn’t been for the enr driver the goat would have been playing polo with the lady and gentleman yet, but a few well directed blows from that worthy’s whip soon drove “Billy” from the field, and the couple were allowed to hie themselves to their respective homes, slightly disfigured, but still able to walk.— Peck’s Sun.