Rensselaer Republican, Volume 18, Number 22, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 4 February 1886 — Low Water in the Wabash. [ARTICLE]

Low Water in the Wabash.

A rural schoolmaster in Indiana asked a pnpil named William Scott ■which was the longest river in the wdrid, and Will iam persisted in crediting that honor to the Wabash. Asa result he wept home with a tanned jacket. As another result, a stranger appeared and knocked on the door. “Is this the skule teacher ?” he pleasantly inqi.ired. “He are!" “Are you the critter as liked Bill Scott fur sticking up for the Wabash?” “The same, sir. ” “ Wajff, Bill happens to be my son, aod I’ve come fur to gin you the awfullest whalin’ ever writ down in geography.” “Can you wait until I am through wi h the class in spelling?” asked the teacher. “Oh, I s’pose so, but under the circumstances I hope ye’ll cut it as short as possible. Haven’t got my corn husked, ye know.” ' “Certainly. I never keep a gentleman waiting when I can help it. Sit down on the wool pile, Mr. Scott. I’ll come out and pulverize yon in just nine minutes.” At the end, of the appointed time the teacher reappeared, and at once rushed upon the waiting Mr. Scott and blacked his eyes, broke his jaw and flattened his nose. By and by Mr. Scott said he had all he wanted, and added: “Which is the longest river in the wor d?” “The Amazon, sir.” “Am-a-zon. Please writs it down for me. You’ve licked it into me in firstclass style and when I git home and git my paws onto my son Bill he’ll come to believe that there hain’t ’nuft water in the Wabash to wash his mother’s feet with! Am-a-zon! Good-by, critter.” —New York Star. The New York Wot Id says a child in that city was poisoned by a cough syrup containing morphia or opium. There is no such danger in Red Star (Sough Cure. It is purely vegetable, prompt, safe, and sure. 25 cents.