Rensselaer Republican, Volume 18, Number 16, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 24 December 1885 — PITH AND POINT. [ARTICLE]

PITH AND POINT.

■■ j. £ A discarded apple core has & gnawed •> look. A”' Money is quite plentiful now —in bank vaults. Boarding house butter is not like Samson. It does not lose its strength when robbed of its hair.— Texas Siftings. African lions are worth from SI,OOO to $5,000. Society lions are quoted “steady at 10 cents.”— Brooklyn Times. •A correspondent asks: *Do poets ever commit'Snicide ?” If they do, it doesn’t kill them—judging from the overstocked market. Norristown Herald. We have long wondered what language it was which the mule speaks so melodiously, and after much study we are forced to the conclusion that it is He-bra-ic.— Texas Siftings. “The large cow,” says an agricultural contemporary, “is going to be the coming cow.” If that is the case we will gracefully retire over the fence when we see one.— Texas Siftings A South Carolina woman recently rode twenty miles through the rain to be married. When a woman manes up her mind to do anything it takes heaps of inconvenience to stop her.— Chicago Ledger. man’s a fool. As a rule man’s a fßol. When it’s hot ho wants It cool. When it’s cool he wants it hot, Always wanting what it’s not, Never liking what he’s got. '< I maintain, as a rule, Man’s a tool. * — St. Paul Globe.

Did you ever wake up in the night and muse upon what a nice eternal fitness there is about all things? Scissors came into use three centuries before the art of printing was invented. Progress understands her business. — Chicago Ledger. Wuat is the difference between a dog’sTvoice and the mist which rises from a swamp? The latter is the dark of a bog, while the former is the bark of the dog. And yet the sun rises once every day and doesn’t go down till sun- ' set.— Washington Hatchet. It is claimed that lovesickness checks the growth of young people. However this may 'be in a general sense, it is not true in special. In the case of people in that condition, it is well known that their lips frequently grow fast— Texas Siftings. An East Saginaw rooster recently hatched out a brood of chickens. Mrs. Booster was probably off attending a hen contention to send combs and feathers to the poor naked heathen pullets, and so was too busy to attend to her own.— St. Paul Herald. M. J. Wawrzywriazkowski has been appointed a census taker in Milwaukee. It was a bad selection. After Mr. Waw—and so forth—has written his own name and that of his family, he will be so exhausted that his physician will order him to spend a couple qt months at the seaside to recuperate.— Norristown Herald,. figurative astronomy. Astronomy is 1 rierful And interesting, 2; Tho ear 3 volves around the sun Which makes a year 4 you. The moon is, dead and calm, By law of i>hya (> groat; It’s 7 where the stars alive Do nightly scintil 8. If watchful Providence he 9 With good in 10 tions fraught Did not keep up its grand design We sood would come to 0. Astronomy is 1 derful, But its 2 80 4 1 man 2 grasp, and that is why I’d better say no more. — H. C. Dodge, in Chicago Suti. Mistress —“ What! you want your wages raised already ? Why, you have not been in this country a month; yon know nothing of American housekeeping, and 1 am now paying you as much as the most experienced servants get!” “Yes, mum; I know, mum. But you see times is very dull now.” “I should say they were.” “Yes, mum. Me brother Mickey is out on a strike; me cousin Jim’s out of work; me cousin Philip, and cousin John, and cousin George, they all had their wages reduced.” “Well, what has that, to do with it?” “Yon see, mum, I must take care of the whole family now, mum.”— Philadelphia Call.