Rensselaer Republican, Volume 18, Number 10, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 12 November 1885 — Henrico and the Dog. [ARTICLE]

Henrico and the Dog.

“Fore Heaven! Is this mine own Henrico?” • “Such of thine own Henrico as survives, sweet jade, the controversy with that grim Newfoundland pup now purchased by thy sire.” “So boy, then hath me sire been deceived; they said he was of rare fastidiousness.” “Fastidiousness! and if he be not, dame, there is not such in all the cantonment. Tho’ I have witless given feast to countless canines in these realms sublunary and friaged more garments on their frontal teeth than would the Feejee islands Christianize, .with upon my goodly heart I’ll say I ’never met a dog so hard to please.” “What mean’t thou, torn but jocund wight? Has then this quadruped ensampled oft the outer rim of thine anatomy?” “He hath made havoc in such divers parts that I’m corrugate from crown to toe. First dipped his fangs within me dexter calf; then feasted he upon me stoutest thigh, nor satiate here he further browsed and supped until he banqueted at every joint. Ven gence is mine, howe’er, sweet maid, for lo! the suit that compassed me when thus beset was fresh from dyer’s vat, praise Jupiter! and e’er dissolves the half yard he has mouthed death will a mortgage on the beast foreclose.” “Poor dog and if he dieth not from that, he’ll surely find his mortuary germs in tidbits that he witlessly hath ta’en from thine anatomy."— Yonkers Gazette.,