Rensselaer Republican, Volume 18, Number 7, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 22 October 1885 — Musings on the Nature of a Mule. [ARTICLE]

Musings on the Nature of a Mule.

I know that the mule is the only animal that Noah didn’t take into the ark with him. I looked over the freight list carefully, and could not see a mule way-billed for any place. So clearheaded a man as Noah did not dare to take one on board, as he knew he would kick a hole through her in less than a week. I don’t know a man on whose head you could pour quicksilver and run less risk of spilling it than on Noah’s. He was a dreadful level-headed man, and before the freshet was over everybody on earth realized the fact. The origin of the mule is enveloped in a good deal of mystery. Tradition informs us that when the flood had subsided and the ark had lain on Mount Ararat, Noah was very much surprised in one of his observations to find a good healthy mule standing on the top of an adjoining mountain. The same tradition informs us that the mule is the only animal that lived through the flood, outside the ark. The mule can be considered in a great many ways, though the worst place to consider him is directly from behind, anywhere .within a radius of ten feet I never consider a mule from that* point unless I am looking through the flue of a boiler. The mule has one more leg than a milking stool, and he can stand on one and wave the other three times round in as many different directions. He has only three senses—hearing, seeing, and smelling. He has no more sense of taste than a stone jug, and will eat anything that contains nourishment and he doesn’t care two cents whether it contains 1 per cent, or 90. AH he asks is to pass him along his plate with whatever happens to be handy round the pantry, and he won’t go away and blow how poor the steak is. He just eats whatever is set before him and asks no questions. If I were to have a large picture of innocence io hang in my parlor and I did not wish to sit for it myself, I should get a correct likeness of a mule. There is innocence in a mule’s countenance to fit out a Sun-day-school class. It looks as guileless as an angleworm. A mule never grows old or dies; once brought into existence he continues on forever. The original mule is now alive somewhere in the South and is named Bob Toombs, because he is so stubborn. Mules are chiefly found in the South and West. They have been more abused than Judas Iscariot. A boy who would not throw a stone at a mule when he gets a chance would be considered by his parents too mean to raise. The mule is a good worker, but he cannot be depended upon. He is liable to strike, and when he strikes human calculations fail to find any rule by which to reckon when he will go to work again. It is' useless to pound, for he will stand more beating than a sitting-room carpet He has been known to stand eleven days in one spot, apparently thinking of something, and started off again as though nothing had happened. /To fully appreciate the mule one should listen to his voice. You never can really know whether you like a mule or not till you hear him sing. I attended a mule concert at Chicamauga during the war. The wagon train was in front. The mules were famished for water. The gallant Cleiburne was protecting the rear. Thomas pressed him hard. The music, or program, opened with a soprano solo and then swung into a duet, and then pranced off into a trio, followed up by a quartet and ending with a full chorus of the whole army train. I didn’t hear the whole thing, for when I came to, the regimental surgeon was standing over me. giving me powerful restoratives, and I heard him say that I might possibly get out again, though I would never be a well man again. I have been in places where it took nerve to stand—-such as falling out of a threestory window,and having been through the New York Exchange and spent a part of the day in a boiler factory, and have been on one or two Sunday-school excursions where the crowd were all girls—but I never knew what noise was till I heard a lot of army mules bray. —Dyersburg (Tend.) Gazette.