Rensselaer Republican, Volume 18, Number 7, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 22 October 1885 — Page 3

PARIS CUSTOMS.

The Chaffinches—How They Are Caught and Sold. Sportive Parisians of a not very refined type are; addicted to a brutal form of amusement called combats de pinsons. A pinson is that pretty and charmingly familiar little bird which we call English chaffinch. Its readiness to sing is taken advantage of by Parisian sportsmen for their Sunday afternoon amusement. It takes the place of dog-fighting, which has become too dangerous a recreation to be much indulged in now. To realize the extent to which combats do pinsons are carried one must pay a visit to the bird market on the Quai ahx Fleurs. It is a very curious corner of Paris and swarms with strange types of humanity. There is a bird craze as well as an oldchina craze, an autograph craze and a postage-stamp craze. Of all places the bird-crazed man or woman can be best studied at the marohe aux oiseaux, with their noses almost touching cages containing all kinds of birds, French and foreign, including those which for the crime of superior intelligence are condemned to walk like galley slaves all their lives, turning a mill for their daily bread, and drawing up their water in buckets. White mice, white rats, gninea pigs, angora cats, and woolly dogs, are also caged up like the birds." But the most animated part of the market is that where chaffinches are sold by the bird-catchers to those who cultivate the pastime already mentioned. There are in Paris two “Societies de Combats de Pinsons,” holding meetings every Sunday from April to June —the season when the poor chaffinches are in love, and therefore are most musical. Each member arrives with a cage containing his bird. The cages are numbered and are fastened along a wall, each about a yard from the other. Then somebody is selected to count how many times each bird goes through his song in an hour. The members sit near, with slates and chalk in their hands, to check the official counter, and for an hour nothing is heard but the singing of the birds. All this, although very silly, would be excusable were it not for the barbarous practice of making the birds blind in order that they may sing better. The chaffinch, soon after it has been caught, is kept in total darkness for ten (Jays. Then its bwner takes hold of it with one hand and holds a red-hot wire in the other. The little victim, seeing a sudden light and feeling the heat, closes its eyes, when the lids are immediately sealed down forever with the hot iron. It is strange, indeed, that in a country Where a law exists for the prevention of cruelty such practices should go unchecked. It must not be supposed tjiat the love of bird-music is the motive of these competitions. The motive is to be found in the passion for betting which, judged by many of its conseauences, seems as mischievous as any hat springs in the human breast. — Paris Cor. Boston Transcript.

Die Lewis on Baldness.

The back of the neck should be protected in winter against cold and in summer against great heat. Nothing can accomplish this uniformly and perfectly but the hair. The custom of shingling off the hair from the back of the neck is unphysiological, and, it should in both sexes be allowed to fall low enough to cover the nape, or meet the usual drees. 1. Women -wear long hair, use pomades and frizzing irons, pull their hair hard in dressing it, suffer much from heat in the scalp tnd headache, and are never bald. The causes named sometimes take off a patch here and there, but we never see a woman with a shiny top. 2. Men never lose their ha r below where the hat touches the head; not if they have been bald fifty years. May we not expect, if we keep the top of the head hot and moist, that the hair-glands will become weak, and finally too weak to grow hair ? My own family is predisposed to baldness. A younger brother is quite bald. My hair at 60 is perfect. For thirty years I have worn the ordinary silk hat, with nearly three hundred holes through the top, the holes being about a sixteenth of an inch in diameter. The nap is reversed before the holes are punched, and when it is brushed back to Its proper place the holes are never seen, except when the hat is held up between the eye and a strong light Between the sweatleather and the hat an open corrugated wire is fastened, and extends all around. The ventilation is perfect.— Dio Lewis Nuggets.

“Unkl’ Isom’s Joke.”

Ole Unkl’ Isom an’ de oberseer dun , had sum tnxbbl’ an’ ole Unkl’ Isom wus hot, I kin tell yer —hot ez luv in de summer time; an’ ebry nite ■when he ■went ter pray he go way down by de far hoss-lot under’n a big oak tree fur ter pray, an’ he pray an’ wrastle in prar, an’ al’ays win’ up sayin’: "Good Lawd, pleeze, Massa Lawd, trow down big rock an’ kill all’n de white people, let po’ nigger go free. ” An’ wun nite de oberseer he hear *bout’n it, an’ he up'n took heself down dar ’fore dark an’ clam up’n de oak tree wid a big ruck in he han’, a mons’ous big rook dat he ’scasely made out to tote, an’ dar he sot an’ sot lak one ole tukky-buazard, waitin’ fur ole Unkl’ Isom. .< Putty goon here cum ole Unkl’ Isom, madders eber, madder’n a hornick—he jis rar’ an’ pitch an* he flop down on he man ar-bono an’ pray loud. “Oh, good-God-a’mity, pleeze, good Massa Lawd, trow down big rock quick an’ kill all de white fokes, spechul dat dam oberseer, an* let po’ nigger go free—— 1 Blam—bi —am —bam kum de big rock a bouncin’ an’ a rattlin’, an’ a raisin’ merry Cain, nigh onto ole Unkl’ Isom’s skull Be jis’riz up an’ let out fur homo yellin’ an’ screechin’: “Joky, Lawd! joky (joking) ebry ting po’ nigger say. Lawd tak’ him fur troo, troo."— Detroit Free Press. A publishkp portrait of Return Jonathan Meigs, Jr., one of .the early settlers of Ohio, leads to an odd reminiscence in the Hartford Courant; His father was a resident of Middletown,

and his singular name originated thus: In the early history of Middletown, Mr. Jonathan Meigs asked a lady to become his wife. She refused him. and Meigs felt so .badlv that he left her house* weeping. She, observing his grief, cried out to him when he was a few rods from her, “Return, Jonathan Meigs.” He went back, she accepted him, and they were married. He declared that the words uttered by the young woman gave him more comfort than any other that he ever heard. Therefore, wishing to express his gratitude, he named his first child Return Jonathan Meigs. The son became Postmaster General of the United States and Governor of Ohio.

A Few Words About the Moon.

Whenever the scientific world begins to feel as though it ought to pull oft* its coat and buckle right down to business, and do something to earn its salary, it swings around the telescope, takes a few squints at the moon, and then proceeds to announce with great gravity that oiir satellite is as dead as a lamppost, but the repetition of this startling information never seems to have the slightest effect on the price of wheat or the amount of sparking done within a given radius. The moon may be dead, and it may not; but whether such or otherwise, there is no use in reviling it on account of a condition that it can’t help, any more than St. Louis is to blame for not being up to the chin in business enterprise. It is the only moon we’ve got, and we are in no hurry to swsip it off and take the chances in being beaten in the trade. It has given satisfaction to all people who have roamed about under its effulgent beams talking of impossible things that never happen, and figuring up the cost of matrimony and its attendant troubles, and if it suits them the scientific people have no business to be running it down, and doing all in their power to make folks dissatisfied with it. For all we know it may be as good as any other moon in the business, and we have no assurance that it would give any more light to the square inch if it was red hot and fairly boiling with business. We fail to discover"wherein it would be of any more value to us if every portion of its surface was selling readily in the open market at fifteen hundred dollars a front foot. As a place of residence Chicago does hot take a back seat for anything on earth or in the sky ; and if those scientific speculators who are so persistently bearing moon stock were to suddenly swing over to the bull side and thunder out the announcement that the moon was full of snap and crowded with life, we feel positive that scarcely anybody would be in mad haste to go there. Nothing but the positive knowledge that its crust was pure gold and two miles thick would be likely to create a stampede of emigration from this quarter, and even then we are not sure that the rush would be sufficient to attract more than passing attention. Astronomers have been of some service to the world, in fishing from the blue ether information that comes handy when yon want to trim a pig’s ears or vaccinate a child; but we don’t like this incessant meddling with the moon, simply because it happens to be our nearest neighbor, and has a lot of unsightly rubbish in the' back yard. Moonlight is a luxury that we get free of cost, and we ought to be thankful for it. If Luna were in the hands of a gas company we’d have to come down handsome or go without a glimmer. We can’t persuade the moon to be a sun, and we don’t want to. Sunlight during the day is enough. There’s no use in being hoggish about anything. If we had to have it all night as well, it would keep us humping to identify Sunday and avoid chipping into it on both sides. Other troubles would also follow. Lodge night would never come, and no insignificant fraction of the general population would have to buy their chickens or put up with bacon. It is best as it is, and the star-piercers had better rest content and let the moon boss its own picnic. Some people may object to the moon because it is changeable, but that’s all right when you get used to it, and the more you think about it the better you like it. If we had moonlight every night in the week some young people would walk themselves to death, and you would never know where to find a hirled girl after sundown. True, it might save coal and gas in the kitchen, but if they had to perambulate diumally the greater part of the night it would be tough on shoe-leather, and they would have to have more wages, and this would offset the gain hmted at above. It wouldn’t do to have a changeless moon at all. Everything would get into a mMSIe at once. ’"Our good brother with the burs on his pants would never know when to plant his pumpkin seed or pull his turnips, and agriculture would throw up its hands and go under. Not only that, but you might look over your left shoulder till you Became hopelessly cross-eyed, and not get a speck of good luck for your trouble. We can’t get along withi out change in the moon any more than Jwe can without it in the pocket. The ! moon may be dead, but, if so, it is like I the Irishman’s headless snake': it doesn’t know it, and keeps up the motion just j the same, as steadily as a hired man. ! Revile the moon as we may, there is no • getting around the fact that ibis steady in its habits, and never gets too full to navigate, if it don’t go home till morning sometimes. It is always on deck to the second when the time comes due for it to go on trick again, and it stays there and goes over its beat with a faithfulness that might shame the best of policemen.— Chicago Ledger.

An Observant Youth.

It was one of the good little boys from a Sunday school near Boston who gave this interpretation to a verse taught by his teacher—“ Behold a greater than Solombn is here!”: “Hold a grater to Solomon’s ear !” When at a loss to give the-answer “Cain" to a question relative to that individual the’ teacher, to jog his memory, asked: “What does a man walk with?” Quick as a flash came the reply: “A woman.’— Boston Journal. When finally yon decide that you don’t know much, the sooner you stop talking, sit down, and 'look wise, the better.

TWO NOTED MINSTRELS,

Who Have Won Fortunes, and What They Say About Stage Life. [From Stage Whispers.] “BiUy" Emerson has recently riade a phenomenal success in Australia, and is rich. Emerson was born in Belfast in 1848. He began his career with Joe Sweeney s minstrels in Washington in 1857. Later on he lumped into prominence in connection with Newcomb's miustrels, with whom he visited Germany. He visited Australia in 1874, and on his return to America joined Haverjy's minstrels in San Franclacp at $ >OO a week and expenses. With this troupe he played before her Majesty the Queen, the Prince of Wales, and royalty generally. After this trip he leased the Standard Theater, San Francisco, where for three years he did the largest business ever known to minstrelsy. In 4,p r fi lttßt went to Australia again, where he has “beaten the record.” “ fiiHy ” is a very handsome fellow, an excel ent singer, dances gracefully, and is a true humorist. “ Yes, sir, I have traveled all over the world, have met all sorts of people, come in contact with all sorts of customs, and had all sorts or experiences. One must *have a constitution like a locomotive to stand it. “Yes, I know I seem to bear it like a major, and I do, but I tell you candidly that with the perpetual change of diet, water, and climate, if I bad hot maintained my vigor with regular use of Warner’s safe cure, I should have gone under long ago.” George H. Primrose, whose name is known in every amusement circle in America, is even more emphatic, if possible, than “Billy” Emerson, in commendation of the same article to sporting and traveling men generally, among whom it is a great favorite. Emerson has grown rich on the boards and so has Primrose, because they have not squandered the public’s “favors.”

Facts About Cuba.

Cuba is about ripe or rotten enough to drop into the lap of Madame Columbia. She is only a little over one hundred miles distant from Florida. Each free family in Cuba must pay annually in direct or indirect taxes SSOO. The yearly aggregate wrung from the inhabitants is $26,000,000. The government is despotic, and the press is muzzled by the iron hand of power. Cuba’s last great revolution lasted eleven years, and cost Spain the lives of 150,000 soldiers. The island is overrun with brigands, and financial ruin stares the people in the face. Fifty thousand officials live off the taxes extorted from the Cubans. Each retail merchant has to pay S3OO a year for license. Under President Polk this country offered Spain $100,000,000 for Cuba. The world cannot show a richer or more productive spot than this island. About one hundred marquises and counts reside in Cuba. These titles can be purchased at $25,000 apiece.

The .people are handsome, bright and brave. They are smaller than the Americans, and have black hair and olive complexions.— Atlanta Constitution.

Howells the Novelist.

W. D. Howells, to-day the leading novelist of America, began his life as a type-setter on his father’s newspaper in a country town in Ohio; afterward mounted to the dizzy height of exchange clipper on the Columbus State Journal, where he commenced writing poems for the Atlantic; was appointed Consul to Venice; published on his return “Venetian Life,” and soon after became assistant editor of the Boston Magazine, where he won his fame. It is a little singular that so fine a writer, 4 in point of style, should have had no regular education, should have received most of his instruction at the printing case. This maims, if it does not crush, the academic theory that a man cannot be a master of his own tongue without completing a course of classical studies.

Living Monuments.

On the tomb of Sir Christopher Wren, architect of St. Paul’s Cathedral, London, is the inscription in Latin: “If you ask for his monument look around you.” The thousauds and hundreds of thousands of people whom we see to-day free from rheumatism and kindred diseases are living monuments to the power of St. Jacobs Oil —the Conqueror of Pain.

Great Assumption.

“A few days ago I had a quarrel with a man, a stranger to me, which ended in a rough and tumble fight,” said a Stockton man to a companion, “and during the melee I struck my opponent on the head, with a rock. Gracious, I thought I’d killed him; his head swelled up terribly, he was confined to the house for a long time and I expected he would die, but he is still alive, although he never got over the effects of the blow.” “How’s that ?” said his friend. “ Well, sir, he still has the big head; he thinks he is a better man than I am.”— Stockton Maverick.

The Universal Language.

While some visionary cranks in, Paris are trying to formulate a “universal language,” it is of interest to notice that in number nearly one-half and in circulation about two-thirds of the newspapers in the world are published in English and the proportion is increasing every year. The “universal language” is here already, and in good working order. — New York Tribune. A good name is your best trademark. It can be equaled but not counterfeited. Don't hawk, hawk, and blow, blow, disgusting everybody, but use Dr. Sage’s Catarrh Benjedy. Win?—Do you think Jeff Davis aimed c-St despotic power? Husband (henpecked)—l think so. He was found dressed in woman's clothes. ll*you are Oyspeptie, bilious, rheumatic, gouty, debilitated, consumptive, con-stipated;-or in anywise out of sorts, provide yourself with a half-dozen bottles of Db. WxfjtEß’s Vi sugar Bittebs; take ittwlce or thrioe a day, and keep Aght (ng disease until you have not an ache‘or a physical trouble of any kind remaining. The result is sure. "Oxa swallow does not make a summer.” but sometimes leads to “making a night of it.’’

“Put up” at the Gault House.

The business man or tourist will find firstclass accommodations at the low price of S 3 and $3.50 per day at the Gault House, Chicago, corner Clinton and Madison streets. This far-famed hotel is located in the center of the city, only one block from the Union Depot. Elevator: all appointments first-dasa. Hoyt & Garas. Proprietors.

Good for Man and Beast! Bead This!

Army and Navy Liniment will cure your rheumatism, neuralgia, or croup in less time than any other Liniment known. For sale by all druggists, [tee advt. next issue.]

Invalids’ Hotel and Surgical Institute.

This widely celebrated institution, located at Buffalo. N. Y., is organized with a full staff of eighteen experienced and skillful Physicians and Surgeons, constituting the most complete organization of medical and* surg cal skill in America for the treatment of all chronic diseases, whether requiring medical or surgical means for their cure. Marvelous success has been achieved in the cure of *ll nasal, throat and lung diseases, liver and kidney diseases, diseases of tbo digestive organs, bladder diseases, diseases peculiar to women, blood taints and skin diseases, rheumatism, neuralgia, nervous debility, paralysis, epilepsy (fltsi. spermatorrhea, impotency, and kindred affections. Thousands are cured at their home through correspondence. The cure of the worst ruptures, pile tumorvvariocele, hydrocele, and strictures is guaranteed, with only a short residence at the institution. Send 10 cents in stamps for the Invalids* Guide-Book (108 pages), which gives all particulars. Address, World's Dispensary Medical Association, Buffalo, N. Y. It is hardly probable that there are any telephones in heaven. And yet every angel will be recognized by his halo.

“Oolden Medical Discovery” will not cure a person whose lungs are almost wasted, but it is an unfailing remedy for consumption if taken in time. All druggists. ' ' A new magazine is called the Woman’s Age. It contains a good deal of fiction. Memories of the War are solicited for publication in The Chicago Ledger, from both “Yank*and “Johnny. ” Send along the facts, boys, and they will be put in shape to print. The Ledger is one of the best papers going for the soldier’s family. Full of Original Stories,. Humor, Army Incidents, etc. Every issue is a gem. Only $1.50 a year. 271 Franklin street, Chicago. Sample copy two cents. Pain and Dread attend the use of most Catarrh remedies. Liquids and snuffs are unpleasant as well as dangerous. Ely's Cream Balm is safe, pleasant, easily applied with the finger, and a sure cure. It cleanses, the nasal passages and heals the inflamed membrane, giving relief from the first application. 50 cents at druggists. 60c. by mail. Ely Bros., Owego, N. Y. Pure Cod-Liver Oil, made from selected livers on the sea shore, by Caswell, Hazard & Co., New York. It is absolutely pure and sweet. Patlente who have Once taken it prefer it to all others- Physicians have decided it superior to any of the other oils in market. . 1 have had catarrh in head and nostrils for ten years so bad that there were great sores in my nose, and one place was eaten through. I got Ely’s Cream Balm. Two bottles did the work, but am still using it. My nose and head are well; I feel like another man.—Chas. 8. McMillen, Sibley, Jackson Co., Mo. Mr. John Hews* our neighbor, waa very bad with rheumatism last winter, and was not able to work or even to get out of his room. One bottle of Athlophoroa cured him almost entirely of the disease. Bey. Samuel Porter, Crete, Illinois. From Col. C. H. Mackey, 82d lowa Infantry: 1 have now been using Ely’s Cream Balm for three months and am experiencing no trouble from Catarrh whatever. TJiave been a sufferer for twenty years.—C. H. Mackey, Sigourney, lowa. Chapped Hands, Face, Pimples and rough Skin, cured by using Juniper Tar Soap, made by Caswell, Hazard & Co., New York. The best and cheape st Car-Starter is sold by Borden, Selleck & Co., Chicago, HL With it one man can move a loaded car. One pair of boots is saved every year by using Lyon’s Patent Metallic Heel Stiffeners. The best cough medicine is Plso's Cure for Consumption. Sold everywhere. 25c.

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MALT BITTERS. X-P ta " W in Blood Purifier 0 Health Restorer. It never falls to do its work in eases of Bala, ria, Biliousness, Constipation, Wesufi-* ache, lose of Appetite and Sleep, Nervoua Debility, Neuralgia, and afi Feanls Complaints. Hops * Malt Bitters is a Vegetable Compound. It is a Medicine not a Barroom Drink. It differs as widely as doog dev and night from the thonsand-and-ona Mixtures of vile Whisky flavored with aromatics. Hops * Malt Bitten is reeommended by Physicians, Ministers and Nurses as being the Best Family Medicine ever compounded. Any woman or child can take it. “From my knowledge of RS ingredients, under no circumstances can It injure any one using IL It cqutalns no mineral or other deleterious substance. Possessing real merits, the remedy is deserving success.” C. E. DePut, Ph. G., Detroit. Mich. The only Genuine are nuunrfactcred by tbo HOM a MALT BITTED CO., Betreii, Web, UfIIIFY Patience, and Time Saved by using them. M UHL I, Sample 18c. BaNXiN*Co.,Box4ISNY.CUy. tKLLS AT BIGHT WtntM. UfW Price only SI. ■■■■■■l IMuctmtiite.

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AC. W. X>TTSTKajRE Wayne, Du Fags Co- DHnsfa, HAS IMPORTED FROM FRANCK PerUwtm Starve, valued attULMO.OOO, 70 PER CERT OF All lORSES Whose purity of blood is established by pedigrees *► corded in the Psrcherpn Stud Book a* rrsnirt.’t- only Stud Book ever puEUahed in that country, EVER IMPORTED TO AMERICA. fTOCK ON MM: k ko V X isfortoißrooilaroi 7 JgpTOflgkbA SOO I -jEJOWBwBafaMrW StallioM. | Old enough for |2B COLT* \ " tw * year, old and ;\ younger. well bred animate may ba .. .. - »o*d to bejf their pedigrees are recorded, they should be valued only asgradea.l wi3 Belt all Imported itock at grade prices when I cuaes fnmlah with the animal sold, pedigree verified by tba original French certificate of ftsnumber endreemdK the Percheron Stud Book of France. lM.page 111a553.50 $3.50 For ID ELEGAIT WATCCirt the Beit HUMOROUS and STORY Paper In the Country Ora Year. To any one who remits ua *3.50 by registered h* tor, express or postoAce money order, or bank UMh we will send by mdaterod man sa elegant W.taS bury stem-winding watch with nickel-platM chain and charm, and win mail to his sddraA every week for one year The Chicago FKEE. Those watebos am first-class tsroo-keopsvA seldom get out of order, and are substanttaUyml handaomely made. The Chteagp Ledger to now in its edrteeajh year and 1. the best story and humorous paper to tM country. Each issue dontataa at least a page of orleinD humorous articles, from the pan pt one of the moal racy writers of the present day, which feature SMM is worth more than the price charged tor the watm *1? see a really imndaeaw an 4 a.rids*. lx interesting paper, sand a Jeant stamp pls ropy. You cannot fail to be pleased with Che » TOfttTnODt. •« v Writs the name. town, countyand State plainly, md addrexsyour letter to The CUcaas Ledger, W Fwnklin street rihlcam. Hl. B tUU IHtfSEAU ELMFAILL BestCongbSyrup. Tastasgood. M UrelnUßta.BoGbydn>grteia.l I.N. u. No. «>-** * WHEN WRITING TO ADVERTISEM. v ’ please aay yon am* the advertlaaamaad ia this paper. Many a Lady is beautiful, all but her skin; and nobody has ever told her how easy it is to put beauty on the skin. Beauty on the * skin is Magnolia Balm.