Rensselaer Republican, Volume 18, Number 4, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 1 October 1885 — Contrary to the Regulations. [ARTICLE]

Contrary to the Regulations.

SANbwicH Islanders formerly had the soundest teeth of any people on the glbbe; but their teeth have now begun to decay rapidly—an effect, it appears, of using large quantities of salt A Japanese dancing-master announces in the Yeddo papers a solemn festival in commemoration of the thousandth anniversary of the death of his ancestor, who was the first of the family to take up the profession. In an interview at New York the stenographer of the late South American commission says: “Chili is the vainest country I ever got into. The Chilians think they could whip the United States without any difficulty.” Bishop Tuttlf, of the Episcopal diocese of Utah, tells this joke on himself: “A Mormon Bishop was in former years the county recorder of Salt Lake County. I went to have a deed recorded. When I asked, ‘How much is the charge?’he answered: ‘Oh, nothing,’ adding, as he put his hand familiarly on’ my shoulder: ‘We Bishops must favor each other.’ ”

Victor Hugo is reported to have once said: “At night when Ido not sleep, and any idea comes into my brain, I formulate it at once, and I write it—sometimes without a light—in a little note-bobk that I keep always within reach. The little note-books contain what I call my chips. I have already a certain number of them quite filled. They will be found when lam gone.’ 1 The Russian Censor has defined the meaning of history in Russia. An author, in describing the tent of one of the Grand-Dukes, stated that among its ornaments “was the portrait of a certain actress.” The Censor altered the phrase to ’‘a large map of the theater of war.” The novelist objected that his description was “historical,” where* upon the censorship replied that “in Russia nothing is historical except what appears in the official journals.”

Rev. Edward Everett Hale believes in good living, and considerable of it, for the literary man. He works from thirty to sixty minutes before breakfast on a cup of weak coffee and a soda biscuit. He has five meals after that. A hearty breakfast is one, an extended lunch is another, dinner at halfpast 2is the third, tea at 6 or 7 the fourth, and supper just before bedtime the fifth. “Never go to bed in any danger of being hungry,” is one of his mottoes. “People are kept awake by hunger quite as much as by a bad conscience.”

In the Revised Bible, published at Oxford, only three printers’ errors have yet been discovered in all the editions. In the pearl IGmo. edition there is an error in Ezekiel, xvi i. 26, -where an “e” is left out of righteous, and the word is printed “richtous.” In the parallel Bvo. edition there are two mistakes. In Psalms, vii. 13, “shatfs” appears instead of “shafts,” and in Amos, v. 24, in the margin “overflowing” should be “everflowing.” The usual guinea will be paid to any person discovering a printer’s error in the book and pointing it out to the Controller of the Press before any other discoverer.

The Rev. Dr. Burchard wanders around Saratoga like a ghost. The old gentleman, although he looks very calm end serene, as if he had the clearest of clean conscience, yet cannot be very comfortable. He is one of the most notorious men now living. Wherever he goes he is followed by the wink and snicker of some one who regards Burchard’s existence as a huge joke. “There he goes!” “That’s the man!” “That is the man who smashed Blaine!” “That is Grover Cleveland’s best friend 1” are the constant exclamations uttered in his hearing. He looks very patient under all this fire, but he must be very much annoyed.

According to a correspondent of the Baltimore Sun, an old hotel proprietor says no greater humbug exists in hotel-keeping than the “bridal chamber” business, and so far as he is concerned he proposes to aboljsh all such arrangements for the future. He says bridal couples will take just what you give them, and will submit to most anything without a murmur. They are too much occupied with themselves to take any note of their surroundings. It is the people, he says, who have been married long enough to get over the honeymoon, and in the intervals of fussing with themselves fuss with every one around, who give the hotelkeepers the trouble.

A Washington correspondent says of Gen. Lew Wallace: He is an agreeable mah, quite as literary in his appearance as military. He- wears an English suit of mixed goods, has good broad shoulders, and would appear to be a man of about 50. He told me that he had two more novels in an advanced state, one of them being a tale of Constantinople at the time of its capture by the Turks, and the other, if I remember, is an American book of domestic life among us. His tale of Ben Hur Paid him $3,200 last year in roy-

alties. Referring to general compensation of literature, Gen. Wallacf remarked :, “I think that a considerable publishing-hqpse has stated' that when an author gets fSOO royalties on a novel he was considered to have written a successful book.”

The story which comes from Paris, that Bismarck has his eye on Cuba, with the intention of eventually acquiring that island for Germany, is the drollest political romance which has come under water during the year. Bismarck's career has not been such as to indicate that he could have a dream so idiotic. Though Spain should offer Cuba to him as a gift, the chances would be greater of a full head of hair again on the Grennan Chancellor than of a perfection of his nation’s title to the island. This nation at present is nbt out of real estate; it is in no mood for acquisition ; but, somehow, it doesn’t seem to want any foreign power for a neighbor in addition to those it has already. It isn’t sociable nor affable. When Cuba passes from the hands of Spain it will be into the hands of the United States.

The drawing powers of the Sunday campmeeting were utilized for a nefarious purpose by an enterprising but wicked man at Philadelphia recnetly. An announcement in the Sunday morning papers that a colored campmeeting would be opened at a certain grove that day brought three or four hundred white excursionists, on the first boat, to “see the fun.” The wicked man was there, and explained that the meeting had been postponed indefinitely. He had with him, however, a large quantity of beer and other spirituous refreshments, and these the crowd accepted—at the usual prices—as a substitute for the “fun” they had expected to have. They were not unhappy when they went home, and, in spite of one disappointment, may go hunting for the campmeeting again.

Any one who has ever visited Kingston, Canada, will recall the round towers which form part of its extensive fortifications.' These, it is supposed, were copied from the similar structures on the coast of Ireland, which are about to be demolished. The Irish towers were built at the time when Lord Cornwallis was Viceroy of Ireland, at the suggestion of the Duke of Richmond, who had heard that the town of Martello, in Corsica, had by means of similar defenses successfully, resisted the attack of a fleet. This same Duke of Richmond afterward became Governor General of Canada, and it was during his career there that these Martello towers were built for Kingstonthen the capital of the united province of Upper and Lower Canada. His death occurred in 1819, from hydrophobia, produced by the bite of a fox.

Ex-Queen Isabella, of Spain, is declared by a correspondent to have become simply tub-like in figure. The wart on her nose, says the ruthless chronicler, is more prominent than ever, and altogether the sovereign to whom the Pope once sent the golden rose looks sadly like the Belle Circassiene exhibited at the Neuilly’T’air. If she would only hide her deformity—if she would wear high dresses and long sleeves, walk decently and keep her roving eyes (they are much inflamed, I notice) in check a little—one might be blind to her obesity; but she persists in thrusting her fat upon you. Sho wears low dresses, as though she wore a girl of 20, and her eye, when it lights on a favorite of the hour, has an awful resemblance to that of an ogre. She fairly devours the unfortunate; she stares him out of countenance. In vain he may affect to be a free man.

The summary of the agricultural returns of Great Britain for 1885 has been issued by the Agricultural Department ok the Privy Council. The returns were collected June 5, in 1883, and June 4, in 1884 and 1885. The acreage under wheat this year is 2,478,318 acres, a decrease of 198,720 acres, or 7.4 per cent as compared with last year, and a decrease of 134,844, or 5.2 per cent, compared with 1883, In barley and oats there are increases of 4 and 0.9 per cent., respectively, compared with last year. Potatoes show a decrease of 2.9 per cent, and hops an increase of 3 per cent. The returns of live stock show that the number of cattle was 6,597,854, an increase of 328,713, or 5.2 per cent on 1884. The in J crease in 1883 is 10.7 per cent. In sheep and lambs the increases are 0.9 per cent and 3.2 per cent, respectively, as compared with last year, the number being 16,537,607 sheep and 9,997,028 lambs. In pigs, however, there is a decrease of 7 per cent, their number being 2,403,380. There was a decrease of 8j per cent, in 1884 on 1883. The returns, therefore, show that land is still being taken from wheat cultivation an 4 turrfed into pasture.

“Yesterday you were ten minutes late at roll call. What explanation have you to make,” said a New York police captain to one of his men. “I was accompanying a young lady home, and she lives a long distance from here, and we are engaged,” replied the cop. “That sort of thing will never da Discipline must be preserved. Hereafter when you fall in Jove, see that it is with some female who lives in the immediate vicinity of the station house.” Texas Siftings. "