Rensselaer Republican, Volume 18, Number 3, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 24 September 1885 — A Degenerate Parrot. [ARTICLE]

A Degenerate Parrot.

A monkey and a parrot story comes from Oshkosh, with the variation that the monkey in this case was a small boy, addicted to the current slang of the day, and it is somewhat donbtfui if it occured in Oshkosh, or even if it occured at aIL With these exceptions, it is strictly true. A family in the city .of saw-logs had a fine parrot, which had been carefully trained in the Episcopal faith, and could make the necessary responses as well as anybody. The parents of the small boy went away on a visit, and during their absence “Children’s Day" in the churches occurred. Meanwhile the parrot had backslode, so to speak, caused by hearing so mueh of the boy and his chum’s talk unrestrained by his mother, and, instead of confining his conversation mainly to religions topics, had acquired a loose and reckless way of speech that was very amusing to the boys, who, however, were careful not to start the bird a-going when any grown people were around. Before Children’s Day arrived, the boy’s mother wrote home, and among other things said that as they had no canary bird, they might take a lot of flowers and the parrot to the church for the occasion, as she wanted to do her full part, even if absent. This was “nuts” for the boys, although the sister remonstrated, saying that the parrot would surely be noisy, and disturb the gathering. “Wall, what’s he does?” said the boy; “ ’taint like a regular service, anyway; and don’t you s’pose a lot of canary birds make a noise?” So Ren Butler (this was the bird’s name), was taken to tne sanctuary and given a prominent place near the pulpit. Everything went as fine as silk as far as the bird was concerned until near the close of the service. The surroundings and music even seemed to have revived his orthodoxy somewhat, and'he chipped in with “Father, Son, and Holy Gjhost” and several “Amens” very pat indeed, to the great edification of the congregation. Then, all at once, his early training seemed to desert him, and what he had learned more recently came to mind; and when the minister commenced to read the closing hymn, he astonished everybody by exclaiming: “Oh, come off! you can’t fool me!” “Ain’t yon a daisy, now?” “Hit ’em again!” And then he gave a sort of ventriloquial laugh that caused all the congregation to snicker. Finally the hymn was read and snng, and the dominie arose to pronounce the benediction,? when the irrepressible bird remarked in tones of contempt: “The worst I ever heard! Ha! ha! ha!” And, to cap the climax, when the minister stretched out his hands, Ben Betler followed suit with his wings and yelled: “Get onto that, will you? Strawberrees! Fresh Strawberrees! only 5 cents a box!” and the excited bird had to be removed before the congregation could be dismissed in due form. « . . '■ 1 _ -- It is left to the imagination of the reader to picture the mother’s feelings when she returned from her visit a few days afterward and heard the different versions of the affair, and the difficulty she had in bringing Ben Butler back into the straight and narrow path again. Peck’s Sun.