Rensselaer Republican, Volume 17, Number 52, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 3 September 1885 — Rev. ELDERBERRY'S VACATION. [ARTICLE]

Rev. ELDERBERRY'S VACATION.

The Eev. J-onas Elderberry had preached in Flintville twenty years, and had never had a vacation. Sickness and death had caused him to miss a few Sundays now and then, and after much deliberation, not entirely free from ucrimony, the church had decided on each of these occasions not to deduct anything from his salary, a concession which was thought very generous, as he received S7OO a year, and the parsonage rent free. Still these brief respites from labor were not vacations. Though a quiet man, Mr. Elderberry was not without ambitions and dreams. He sometimes wrote short articles and poetry, which appeared in magazines and newspapers under the veil of “J. E.,” and were pronounced by the editors “imaginative.” So it was not strange that he often fancied himself and his little wife, Matilda, going on a real vacation, and looking upon the mountains and the seas. But these dreams were like others he had of owning a reliable gold watch instead of the ridiculous silver turnip that ticked away like a town-clock in his pocket, or of owning a homo of which he could speak proudly as “my house.” In his sober moments—and most of his life was very sober indeed —he never expected to have any of these dreams realized. The children that had come to the parsonage had all died ih infancy, and perhaps that was the reason that there was almost always some one stopping there. All the cousins came, even to the fourth and fifth degrees, and some reduced to their lowest terms, so to speak; and this abundant hospitality cost something, in spite of the fact that Mrs. Elderberry was the maid of all work ; and so, notwithstanding the seven hundred a year, and an occasional $5 from some editor, Mr. Elderberry’s only bank stock was a few hundred in what was called expressively, “back salary.” Elintville, though an old place, was little more than one long street, lined the road by honey-locusts and poplars. The Orthodox Meeting-house had rereceived sundry coats of paint; but, in other respects, was just as it was the first time Mr. Elderberry entered it. The people were conservative, and the orthodox were the most conservative in the place; so they quietly ignored the smart little pine box, called “The Church,” which had sprung up on one side of them, and the squat brick building around the corner, called the Hallelujah Chapel, and resisted innovations. The Eev. Julius Surplice, rector of “The Church,” took a vacation in July; but as he was an unmarried man, it was supposed he spent the time with his parent's. As for tho chapel, its minister came and went too often to need a vacation; while in Flintville, as Mr. Elderberry read his sermons, it was known that he wrote them; but any male member of his flock, if asked his opinion of such labor, would have said : “It must be easy enough to pit in the house, and write things out of your head if you have been to college.” As for the women, while they considered sermon-writing too deep for the female mind, they yet considered it something of the nature of women’s work, not a definite business, but an occupation to be taken up at odd moments, as knitting or patchwork, when nothing more was going on.

“Nature cannot endure everlasting drooping,” and Mr. Elderberry had twice asked for a vacation, without success, when Mr. Whitaker, of Chicago, after doing something sharp in corn, sent his wjife to Eintville to visit her father. Deaeon Billings. ‘‘l never heard of a minister’s preaching through August!” she exclaimed, lifting her bejeweled hands. And the next Sunday the long desired vacation was granted, although ’Squire Pogg opposed it, saying, if hfe hired a man to hoe corn he did not expect him to skip every other row. “Where shall we go, Matilda?” said Mr. Elderberry, the next morning. ‘•We!” exclaimed Mrs. Elderberry, tremulously. “It's your vacation, JJonas. I—l don’t see how I can leave. !fl'hero’s the hens, and the house, and the missionary bed-quilt; "and Cousin Alzina liable to come any day. ‘‘My dear,” said Mr. Elderberry, with full eves, “if I go anywhere, you shall accompany me.” t Thursday evening came; but Mr. Elderberry had not succeeded in obtaining a. cent from the ‘ back salary.” He had. n asked exactly fifty-two times where he was going, and when he would start; and there was in his

pocket-book fifteen dollars and seventyfive cents. : “Tilda,” he said, coaxingly, “let’s go and see Sister Martha.” Though Mrs. Martha Tueker had like a daughter in Mr. Eldenberrv’s father’s house, she was the child of his mother’s sister. She had been married five years when he wedded Matilda, and had soon After visited them at the parsonage. When she had invited them to come and see her, Mr. Elderberry had always intended to do so; but the Tucker farm was forty miles away across the hills, the stage fare was an item to' be considered, and his wife always leceived his remarks on the subject in silence. Without much thoughjt about the matter, he had concluded that Matilda was prejudiced against his adopted sister, and was secretly vexed; for Martha was the only one of his many relatives who had not demanded some favor of him. “I don’t want to go a-cousining,” said Mrs. Elderberry, with unconscious sarcasm.

“You’ve never had a chance,” said Mr. Elderberry, dryly. “But we’ve got to leave town before Sunday. We will only stay a few days, and I think Martha will be glad to see us.” Mr. Tucker's desire to accumulate money, with his wife’s desire to be known as a perfect housekeeper, had never been checked by childish fingers, and Mrs. Tucker’s naturally unsympathetic temper had hardened into something very frosty indeed. To unpin her nice beds, and have her chairs thrust into new places, above all to have extra cooking going on, and her orderly plans frustrated, irritated her. If she had known her cousins were coming, she would have schooled herself a littlO; hut, as it was, she saw them descend from the stage with illconcealed dismay, and greeted them with the exclamation: “I never did!” “I wish I had brought my sermon on the fulfilling of the law,” said Mr. Elderberry that night to his wife. “Martha says that Zeland Yodecker preaches at East Gypsum. I remember him, and I think he keeps up his Hebrew.” But thd next morning Mr. Tucker hitched up his colt, and with his wife started for the postoffice three miles away. It was noon when they returned, so the absence of the sermon on the law was of no consequence. In the meantime, the maid of all work had gone out to visit the wife of (he hired man, and, in her hurry, had left the kitchen door open. The hens took advantage of the opportunity, and hopped in quietly, till the place was full of them. By some curious instinct,Mrs. Tucker divined their presence the moment she entered the house. “There’s folks who wouldn’t hear a whole menagerie in the next room!” she exclaimed, scornfully, after a vigorous use of the broom. “It’s precious few times I’ve ever been away from home; but when I have I’ve worked myself to skin and bones!”

“At bottom Mrs. Elderberry was a very determined woman, and when she said that evening, “Jonas, I shall take the stage to-morrow for Flintville,’’ her husband knew better than to oppose her. Two days afterward,when he had resolved to follow her, he received the following note from her: “You must contrive, dear Jonas, to remain away from home the four Sundays. In the Orthodox organ for this week it says: ‘Mr. Jonas Elderberry, tlio pastor of that bulwark of the faith, the Flintville Church, is spending his vacation trout-fishing. All our pastors cannot, we know, enjoy this diversion; but let each one draw near tonatnre’s heart instead of hunting up some pulpit to supply while his church has generously given him time to rest.’

“In the Flintville Clarion is the following: ‘We have understood from parties qualified, it would seem, to give information on the subject, that our highijr-estcemedtowußman, Mr. Elderberry, unless some unusual circumstance should expedite his return, will spend his vacation in the exercise of the piscatorial art.’ ” After spending the night in painful consideration, Mr. elderberry determined to go to East Gypsum, and find a cheap boardingplace, where, free from the distractions that beset the parsonage, he might write out some verses that were ringing in his head, and thus pay expenses. Ho had weeded onions all day Monday, and stemmed currants all day Tuesday, and felt that in a sense he had paid his board. But he w r as conscious that Mr. Tucker, and possibly Martha, felt that he was, as they phrased it, “living on them,” and to remain longer was impossible. “I s'pose you’ll have a vacation every year, now your church has got started,” said Mr. Tucker, when Mr. Elderberry announced his intended departure. You can board cheap, or work for your board, if you want to. I’d take ye. I sh’d think ’twould do ye good to git up an' stir ’round after takin’ it easy a year.” Arrived at East Gyp Sum, Mr. Elderberry, was directed to the house of Mrs. Mullein, who, it was said, desired one more boarder. He was met at the door by an elderly woman, who proved to be Mrs. Mullein, Senior. “Board? Yes. Professional man? Yes,” said the old lady, in a high staccato voice, as she led the way up stairs. “We may suit, and we may not. Julia, my son’s wife, gives lessons. P’r’aps you’ll find out one of these days what sons’ wives are. When she ain’t banging the piano, or the children ain't, the scholars are. The piano's just under this room.” She opened the door of a torrid chamber. “There’s two sets o’ twins, and one odd, and they rampage all over the house. That’s Julia's “idea cf government. The yonng man in the room back of this is learning the horn, an’ when he’s home—an’ he always is evenings—he practices, or reads out loud for his elocution. Probably you want a cool room? Hem! Well! This room’d bake an egg after dinner; fronts west, and there’s a tin roof. Another one of Julia's ideas. Our price is SB. I think she wants to rent this room; but you’d better come in later and see her.” Mr. Elderberry did not return to Mrs. Mullein's; and, after long wandering. found a little ropm in a house owned by two quiet spinsters. But the lot was narrow, and one side was a melodean, on the other were four girls

and a dulcimer. In vain did Mr. Elderberry attempt literary composition. The melodeon wheezed, while the dulcimer kept up a monotonous, “Pink a-punk-a-punk! Pink-a-punk! A pink-a-punk! A pink!” •' f When a week had passed, having only a dollar and four cents left, M r - Elderberry set ont for home on foot. He had on his old clothes, but the ministerial cut was unmistakable, and the old farmer who overtook him, asked, dryly: “Hev a lift, Elder? I’m goin’ your way.” “Hev the dnmbdest kind o’ work agittin' help!” he grumbled, when Mr.Elderberry had accepted his offer. “An’ I’ve work fur two men in the hopyard, an’ there’s a sight o’ cowcumbers spikin’ to be picked ’fore they’re too big for the pickle fact’ry.” “I wish yOuM hire me to pick cucumbers,” said Mr. Elderberry. The old man laughed, incredulously; and then M. Elderberry told him his whole stoyy, at which the old man laughed again, and engaged him on the spot for a dollar a day. When Mr. Elderberry returned to Flintville his cheeks were brown and his step was brisk, and he received many congratulations on the good his fishing excursion had done him; but Squire Pogg spent Thanksgiving with friends near Gypsum, and the next week a committee waited on the pastor. “We consider you’ve brung disgrace on us an’ the cause,” said the Squire, severely, when he had detailed what lie had heard. “The bes’ thing you kin do is to resign.” When Mr. Elderberry had told the story of his vacation, and had explained that the money he had earned in the cticumber field had part of it gone to swell the church missionary accounts, the committee were mollified; but there was still a rankling feeling that ho had disgraced the church. The winter passed, and spring was blossoming into summer, when Flintville was electrified by the news that Mr. Elderberry had a call to Gypsum Center, and was offered eighteen hundred dollars and a parsonage. “It’s all come of that old Scran he worked for on the Mile Strip, last summer,” said Squire Pogg to Deacon Harp. , “Scran’s son ’s deacon in the Gypsum Church. I seen the old feller last week, an’ sez he, I never bad a man on the place that put in the licks Elderberry did, se'z he; an’ when you want to drive your preacher, Mr. Chubb, out o’ town, sez he, send him up to me.” “M-yeh-ah I” ejaculated Deacon Harp, with an expressive shake of the head. “If he can’t to his father’s, or his father-in-law’s, or—some’eres respectable, Mr. Chubb won’t git no vacation. -^-Independent.