Rensselaer Republican, Volume 17, Number 51, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 27 August 1885 — NASBY. [ARTICLE]

NASBY.

The* Ei-Postmaster and Bis Friends Are Distressed About the ■* 1 'V' • dent’s Vacation. [From the Toledo Blade,l Confedrit X Roads (Wich is in the-State uv Kentucky), Orgust 4, 1885. The noosepaper wich comes to the Dimocrisy uv the Corners is the unbilikle cord wich connex us with the world. The party has alius taken one noosepaper, desirin to be intellegent. I reed it to the rest uv em, interspersin the nooze with originel remarks by myself. Ther wood be more papers taken by us uns, es more uvus unscood reed. Igderenee is to be deplored, but it hez sum pints in its favor. Possibly es more uv the Dimocricy uv the Corners cood reed ther wooden’t be so many Dirnocrats.

Our paper come yesterday; and the fust paragraff which I opened onto ;wuz to the effeck that the President was packin’ his trunk fur a two months’ absence in the mountains nv Noo York. 7 1, wich giv all last summer to the eleckshun uv Grover Cleveland, am sittin’ in sad drouthinis in Bascom’s, dependin’ for my licker on the chance invitashens from good-natured strangers wich are too keerlis to notice the tigerlike anxiety wich I regard em, but The President is packin’ his trunk! The Post Office at the Corners, wich blongs to me by common consent, hez been held for yeors by an offensive partizan, one who by bis own Coufeslin, wood hev votid the Republikin tikket, regerly, es we had permitted him to vote at all. Grover Cleveland, by one stroke uv his pen cood change all this, and make the hearts uv those wich I owe happy, but The President has packed his trunk! Bascom turns over the private ledger in wich fur all these veers he hez kept my account and sigbs like a furnis. He is losin money every day, becoz 1 hev not the money to pay fur likker, and he not being able to continuer on tick furever, the wheels uv trade is blocked. The removle uv the nigger Lubbock and my appointment wood remedy all this by restorin the equilibrium, but it is notdone.

The President has packed his trunk! Deekin Pogram hez hed his eagle eye fixed on the Collectership uv Revenoo fur yeers, and hez bin waitin fur it so long that Bascom holds a mortgage on his farm fur all it is wuth. That place is held by a offensive partisan, wich hez votid the Republikin tikkit alluz, hevin gone so far ez to forse his way to the poles with a loadid revolver, in spite uv our protests. (But his vote wuzn’t countid, halleloogy!) The Deekin sit 3 mild-eyed and sad, longih and waitin, but The President is packin his trunk I

Issaker Gavitt hez wanted the Custom House sence he wuz 21 years old. His servis in the Confedrit army attests his Dimocrisy. He hez waited so long that he hez becum almost idiotic thro hope deferred. He is still waitin, but The President is packin’ his trunk! Wat rite hez the President to desert his post and go away so fur that we wick want the oliises hev not the meens to pay railrode fare to reech him? Wat rite hez he to leeve Washington afore eggsaminin our papers and makin the changes wich wo insist he ought to make? Wat rite hez he to pack his trunk and git out anyhow ? Carryin with him a trunk implies a long stay. I don’t pack a trunk when I go away. I scorn a trunk. A black carpet-bag stuffed with paper to enshoor confidence at hotels is all I need. But he, forsooth, must pack his trunk! I am not recklis nor hasty, but I warn President Cleveland that this packin uv trunks won’t do. He hez dooties to perform, and the Democrisy insists flinf, n a ttat*ffiTTnq atyi Wn lrgai* vttctk Al t? pullUi 1110 Util. ' Ts o UvU I r Aout so much about polisy; we are willin to swaller any dose which he offers us, but we want the offises. On that question we are iron-clad. And we want em now. He can’t sine commishuns in the Adirondax, and afore he gets back I shel hev died uv drouth. He must remember that four years hence the Democrisy may pack their trunks. Let him beware. The starved tiger is the most feroshus.

PEROLEUM V. NASBY,

(Desperate.)