Rensselaer Republican, Volume 17, Number 43, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 2 July 1885 — The Stove-Metre Rank. [ARTICLE]

The Stove-Metre Rank.

It has been commonly supposed that men owe their dignity and grade in life to their heads rather than their heels; hut here is a “Blue Grass” native who says it isn’t so in his State. “Yes, sir/’ said the Kentuckian, as they sat by the stove, on whose top gracefully reposed the pedals of that individual, “you kin tell a man’s rank in this State thuslv: If you see a man with his sept on the top of the stove, he’s a Gineral ; but if his feet is on that rail about half way up, he’s a Kernel; and if ha keeps them on the floor he’s a Major." “Ah, yes!” said his companion. “That’s good so far as it goes. But hew are von going to distinguish a Captain or a Lieutenant?” “Stranger, we don’t go no lower than Major in Kentucky.” —The Eye.