Rensselaer Republican, Volume 17, Number 40, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 11 June 1885 — Would Freshen the Sea. [ARTICLE]

Would Freshen the Sea.

See the young man. He is not quite so tall as his younger sister; but then he is much slimmer. His cheeks are ruddy as ripening peaches, but they are not quite so downy. He is raising a mustache. When he gets two more hairs sprouted on the right side and one more on the left he will have three altogether. He has been nearly live weeks out of school, and if he lives and keeps his health he will be 19 years old in the third year of Mr. Cleveland’s first term. Is he an editor? He is a journalist. He is the man who writes” all the funny jokes about married men, and how wives talk at night, and what a trial and expense a large family of grown up daughters is, and how many large bills a married man has to pay, and how he is always bald, and stays at the club every night, and always comes home drunk, and plays poker, and goes to the theater with strange ladies and dodges his creditors. Does that very young man write all those funny things? Yes, dear. It is because he is so very young that he writes them. Will he know more as he grows older? Perhaps; if he should live to be a couple of thousand years older he mightknow a little more. Is the young man fresh? Is he? If he should wade through the ocean, dear, the blue waters of the loud sounding sea could forever after be used for drinking purposes. —Bob Burdette.