Rensselaer Republican, Volume 17, Number 35, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 7 May 1885 — How Biff Enjoys Himself. [ARTICLE]

How Biff Enjoys Himself.

“Did you see Mrs. Van SaltsellerSplurges Biff at Mrs. Old Cheese’s reception?” one gentleman asked another. “Yes; covered with diamonds, wasn’t she?” “Just loaded with them. It’s a wonder old Biff allows his wife to dress that way; he’s so common in things himself, you know.” “Allow her! Why she dresses for him. He can’t wear diamonds himself, so he gives them to her. Then, people will say, ‘Who’s that lady encrusted with gems?’ ‘Why, don’t you know'? That’s Mrs. Van Saltseller-Splurges Biff, wife of Spindleshank Biff, the great millionaire.’ There’s where old Biff comes in. See?"— Pittsburgh Chronicle- Telegraph.