Rensselaer Republican, Volume 17, Number 34, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 30 April 1885 — VESUVIUS. [ARTICLE]

VESUVIUS.

BY BILL NYE.

The study of the habits and temperament of the volcanoe, at a distance of about 10,000 miles,is one that has always afforded me much pleasure. In watching and noting the peculiar phenomena of the eruptions I have almost lost sight of its attendant dangers. A’volcano is always feverish and restless till after the eruption, then it feels better. The first symptoms of an eruption are cold feet, bad dreams, bad breath and dark circles around the crater. This will be followed by an uncomfortable feeling in the bowles of the earth, and a fluttering pulse. The volcanoe is then about to erupt, and those who live near there had better sell out at a sacrifice. One thousand eight hundred and eighty-four years ago the Boman geographer and weather crank, Strabo, spoke of Vesuvius as a burnt mountain, but it had not at that time turned itself wrong side out. Quith a forest grew where its crater now stands. For fifty years Vesuvius had bilious spells, but kept on drawing its salary without loss of time, but in 79, A. D., it turned itself loose, and tore up the ground a good deal. Beal estate was to an astonishing height, but became depressed again at once. The south half of the mountain was jerked loose, as Pliny has it, and knocked galley west. This was followed by a shower of hot, wet ashes, which completely obliterated Pompeii and Herculaneum. Those towns have been exhumed lately, but, owing to the criminal delay of the authorities in doing so, no lives were saved. These cities are not covered with lava. Scientists say that the ruins were found under a deep layer of volcanic tufa. Ido not know what tufa is. but presume the term is perfectly proper and safe to use in good society. I have heard of the tufa cigar, which is sold at the rate of tufa 5 cents, but I am comparatively ignorant of the general appearance of volcanic tufa. This is a joke that I thought of myself. Times are so close this winter that I am obliged to originate a good many of my own jokes, and to write my own autographs. My amenuensis, who has stood by me so long and aided me so well, has been discharged. Autograph hunters will notice that my autographs are not so good as when I had my amanuensis. For nearly 1,000 years Vesuvius then remained in a comatose state, with only an occasional eruption. Then for 500 years it did not erupt In 1538, on the shores of the Gulf of Banc in the Bay of Naples, a new and attractive cra’er was opened. It was a good, easy-running crater and the lava was hot when it came out. Hot lava is not good for food. It hardens in the stomach and taints the breath with the ordor of sulphur. In 1631 Vesuvius itself again became intensely irritable and showed signs of a morbid desire to erupt. During the 1,500 year of quiet the crater has been covered over with forests infested by the wild boar of Italy and the tame boar of Enghand. The slopes of the mountain were cultivated up to the foot of the cone and Sunday-school picnics swarmed over the greenswards at its base. Suddenly, in the latter part of December, Vesuvivs rose on its hind feet and painted Borne red. All Southern Europe and a part of York State was covered with fishes and debris from the internal economy of she volcano. Many people were killed who had never previously lost their lives. The way Vesuvius slung hot mud at the Neapolitan hordes that fall was a solemn warning to the puny pugmire pushers of putrid politics in the land of the free and the home of the brave. The beautiful cities of Besini and Postici were entirely destroyed and those of Torre del Gueco and Torre del I’Amumgiata would have perished if they had not spread the names of the towns over themselves and escaped. A good long name in Italy is rather to be chosen than great riches. About ever ten years since the above date, Vesuvius has been liable to jar the country and shake down a few towns, covering the people with stuff that ii' entirely useless. The eruption of Vesuvius is a fine sight at night. No doubt that there will always be more or less apprehension on the part of spectators tintil some American “rustler” puts a damper in the crater of Vesuvius so he can regulate the eruption. At present those spasms are too irregular and too vehement.—Engl eside.