Rensselaer Republican, Volume 17, Number 25, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 26 February 1885 — A RETIRED BURGLAR. [ARTICLE]

A RETIRED BURGLAR.

*** BY ELEANOR KIRK. “Ye?, I am pleased to see you, and you can take my career for a text if that is your object in visiting me; but you are not at liberty tp mention my name. You can call me Jack for short. You see I have had notoriety enough. Your article may be valueless without my name? Very sorry, indeed, but the talker in this case must only be known to the talkee.” There was no way of evading these terms, and they were accepted with thanks. “How is it that my English is so good? Then you do observe a difference between my English and that of most men of my profession? lam glad this is the case, I had a good education ; in fact. I was intended for the ministry. You laugh, my friend? I assure yon that it was only a feather’s weight that decided my vocation. My mind was of a studious, philosophical, and scientific cast. I got into a bog about free-will and predestination, and then I stuck. It was impossible for me to honestly preach either doctrine, and I certainly was bound to commit myself to one or the other. There was still another obstacle in my path. It was: I was born with an overweening desire for the unattainable.” This was certainly a poetic way of getting around the eighth commandment, and the w riter's respect increased prodigiously. “I was so constituted, - ’ the speaker proceeded, “that I could not care for anything, however beautiful, which was within my reach. 5 ow, I was not responsible for coming into the world, neither was I responsible for the law of heredity. It was a great deal safer to address a cultivated audience twice a Sunday, and make a few pastoral calls during the week, than to climb into a man's house at dead of night, and creep into his bedroom and walk off with his pocket-book and diamond studs. I studied theology with the best old man that ever lived, and lie considered me a brilliant and hopeful disciple, but I spent three weeks planning to rob him—to rob him artistically, I mean. I could, have done this without suspicion *ht any time, for the whole house was open to me, but the things that I coveted were not valuable to me until they were locked up. This desire was stronger than life and stronger than death, for I risked death many a time to accomplish it: I could not believe that I had been predestined from the beginning of things that my career was to be that of a burglar, and I knew that I was not a free agent. You can comprehend my dilemma?” This was plausible, though the treatment of the subject, it was observerd, was somewhat new, as well as a trifle mystical. “Yes.” was the calm response. “You have become accustomed to certain terms, certain forms and modes of expression, and you don’t know how to get outside of them. Most men are like you.” 1 “Are you willing to tell me your method of attack—so to speak—or did yon enter houses like other ■” Do-not be afraid of the word. I think my methods were original, if not unique,, though, as I never had any dealings with men of my profession, I may be arrogating too much.” “You never had a companion, a pal ? Was never a member of any clique?” “Never, and my contempt for thieves was probably as great as your own. I had no wish’for such society, and up to the time I was caught and convicted I had as good a name as any other man. A house that was easy to enter I always passed by, for, as -I told you. I eared only for the unattainable. My tools could all be carried in one pocket When I had such work in my hand I always dressed myself scrupulously. The professional burglar can never be mistaken for a gentleman for he looks like the tramp he is. < My linen was invariably my boots were well blacked, and my Whole appearance wnexem>tionablej I should have hluaheil to rob a man in, old clothes.” “And y°u were never caught but “Only though I had two ot three hair-breadth escapes. One of

these was when I attempted to rob a house on the Hudson, said to be as impregnable as a fortress. It took three hours of the hardest work I ever did to effect an entrance, and after I had succeeded in doing so I found, to my great chagrin, that I did not feel at home.” “Feel at home? That is funnidr than all the rest” “A great psychological trqth underlies that feeling, sir. If I ’could not hold my head up in a man’s diningroom or library, and feel/in a large and comfortable sense like the proprietor, I was in danger. In the house I have mentioned I was indeed a cat in a strange garret But, like other fools, I ignored the warning, and proceeded to investigate, I had not gone far when a door softly opened, and a woman met me upon the threshold.” “But you were not afraid of a woman ?” “I was never very much afraid of a man. This woman was as calm as the summer night, or rather the summer morning.for then it was nearly 3 o’clock. ‘What do you want?’ she as ed coolly. I glanced into the room and saw that she was alone. ‘What do you think I want ?’ I replied. ‘lf you did not look so much like a gentleman,* she answered, ‘I should, of course, think that you had come to rob us. ’ ‘Thank you for the compliment,’said I; ‘but where is your husband?’ ‘He is in Toronto,’ she responded. ‘Perhaps you bring bad news of him ?’ ‘Oh, no, madam,’ I answered, reassuringly; ‘but it cannot be possible that your" husband leaves you alone in this great house ?’ ‘By no means; my servants are all within call,’was the suspicious response. ‘But will you not be seated ?’ she added politely. This was a poser. Now I never struck, abused or insulted a woman in my life, and the most disheartening feature of my self-imposed employment was that I was sometimes compelled to frighten these tender and susceptible creatures. I took a seat near the door, so that my companion could not possible give the alarm, and she sat down on the other side of a large center table, and as she did I distinctly heard the click of a pistol. She had cocked the pistol and was ready for me. “This incident happened at the height of the Beecher trial in Brooklyn. That woman was game and I knew she would never let me leave those premises without a spunky attempt for my apprehension. Most of my surprises have come from women, but I was never so utterly dumfounded as when this one calmly asked me for the latest news in the Beecher trial. I have tried to show you that only a small part of my nature was really burglarious, and that in all other respects I was a gentleman. When I found that this woman was alone, I would no more have placed a hand on any of her possessions than I would have cut my own throat. There were two reasons for this. The first 1 hope was my innate respect for women in general, and my great admiration for this woman in particular, and the next was because of the predominant trait of character which made everything valueless -which was not obtained by the hardest work. I could have taken this woman’s little toy away from her, and locked her into her room w r ith the greatest ease, and I would not have hurt a hair of her head; but such a tussel would have been unmanly and ridiculous. So I answered her inquiries as politely as I could, and now comes the part which will doubtless seem incredible to your practical mind. I became so interested in this singular ci nversation that a whole hour passed without my being aware of it. “My hostess”—a curious smile flitted across the ex-burglar’s serene countenance as he uttered this word—“was talented, refined, well informed. She regarded the matter from the standpoint which was always most fascinating to me—that of philosophy and precedent. She was analytical, and I discovered in the course of the conversation that she was a close psychometric student. I forgot my inglorious intentions entirely, and was only recalled to the object of my visit when my companion, with the dash of a gazelle running away from a rifle, threw up the window and screamed at the top of her voice. I heard the rumbling of a wagon, and the shouts of men, and had only time enough to escape by the back door into the woods. I take oft’ my hat to that woman —metaphorically—a dozen times a day. “I told you the narrative would seem incredible, but notwithstanding my past career, which probably appears to you allied to every other weakness and wickness, I am not, and never was, a liar. “ One other experience I will recount before I make the application of the sermon you are to preach for me. I had resolved to rob the house of one of our millionaires. This had been attempted several times by others, and their failure was, as usual,- an inspiration to me. So I dressed meself in my best clothes, took my little tools, and started one dark night about 12 o’clock. It was nearly 2 before I got in, and here, as in the other house I have told you about, I did not feel at home. I was an alien and a stranger. The sound of my own footsteps made my heart beat audibly. But I was a fool again, and did not fly as I should have done. I had lighted the gas in the'dining-room, and was about to reconnoiter when I heard a quick step, and in an instant a man was upon me. I had time to seize my hat,which I had dropped upon the table, strike a dignified attitude, and await developments ‘Well,’ said the man rather sharply, ‘what do you want ?’ I turned, and this time met an old chum of mine whom I had not seen for fifteen years. ‘Why,’ he exclaimed, calling me by name and extending his hand cordially, ‘what in the world brings you here at this time of night? lam delighted to see you.’ I responded in perfect good faith,'and I don’t wonder you say this time of night But I have been here since, lljtf siting for Mr. s’calling the millionaire by name. ‘And he is not in yet,’ my companion replied. ‘Come into the library and have a glass of wine with me. He will to be here very soon now, you see,’ he added, aS I followed his lead, with my K heart in my mouth. ‘I got interested in a . book, and forgot about the time. lAn thankful that I did, and now how m e

you, old boy?’ There are some moments in a m'an’s life which no words can eve? describe. I made up my mind if I got out of this house with my real character unsuspected, that I would kill myself as soon as I reached home. ,1 “My old friend’s delight at seeing me distressed me, and for a few moments I forgot the danger of my position and everything else save nay own unworthiness to grasp a good man’s hand. He told me that he was a tutor in the millionaire’s family, and was perfectly happy in his vocation. He offered me wine and I drank it. He gave me a cigar, and I lit it, and did my best to keep it glowing, but the fire went out repeatedly. Once I had a wild thought of telling him the nature of my to this house and throwing myself upon his mercy and generosity, but I could not do it To watch this man’s face as I sank lower and lower in his estimation was a process I could not bear. No, I must get out of it some other way. My companion listened occasionally as the sound of wheels was heard, showing that his employer was expected in a carriage. I listened for wheels also, and if you are possessd of imagination you can form some idea of my state of mind. “At last the clatter of horses’ hoofs drew very near. There was a halt, the quick closing of a gate, and my friend rose and went to the window. “ ‘Mr. has come at last,’ he said. “My companion’s back was turned for a moment, and I took a quick advantage of this fact and hurried out of the room. Once out of his presence fear and shame lent me wings and I reached the back window through which I had entered to hear the voice of the millionaire whom I had intended to victimize close beside me. ~ “ ‘You had better give Kate some water.’ he told his coachman; and as he spoke I could have reached out my hand and touched his sleeve. But I kept in the shadow and as soon as the coast was clear I took myself out of the way. “And you did not kill yourself?” “No. Once safe, the old love of life returned and the keenness of my shame soon became blunted. If it were not for this dulling process, this world would consists of graves and lunatic asylums only.” “And you were at last caught and sentenced. You did not serve youi' whole time, I believe.” “Scardely half. Good behavior and paralysis opened the prison doors for me. I was caught in the act of robbing a safe in a bank. It was my first and last attempt at a bank robbery. I never stepped upon so homelike a scene as this was. The atmosphere of the p|ace was entirely nexy to me. I had never had a bank book, never been a president, cr a defaulting cashier, and I tried to convince myself that this was the cause of the strangeness. But it was the old warning, and it served me right that I did not recognize it. A night watchman and a policeman swooped down upon me, and the result, as you know, was a sentence for ten years’ hard labor in states prison. I came out in less than five, a whitehaired, decrepit man; old before n»time, with nothing pleasant in the piw to look back upon, and no chance jBl contentment or usefulness in the future.” * “If you were in good health, what do yotwthink would be the chances of your old occupation ?” “I often ask that question of myself, but I have never ahswered it. • The old Adam might be strong within me if I wers as well as formerly. It does not seem so, however; though with xny experience to refer to, it would be very illogical for me to predicate anything of a healthy condition from a diseased one. I feel at times perfectly convinced that my sbamo and remorse are genuine emotions, and the old longing for—” “For the unattainable—” “Thank you—for the unattainable is dead. I have found out that there is a moral as well as a physical scrofula, and if a single precedent had been established whereby I could have made known my sickness to some soul physician wise enough to deal with it, I might have been cured. When a man afflicted with moral scrofula can consult a physician for that disease with as much freedom and as little shame as a man suffering from blood scrofula, then and not till then will the ranks of evil be thined. The rule of heredity obtained in my case and I know the source of my taint. But to speak of it was to confess myself defiled, and beyond the pale of human sympathy and respect The time must come when a moral disease will be no more of a disgrace than physical sickness. Both are entailed and science should bestir herself. “I haven’t perhaps, given you much that is sensational, but you are quite welcome to it, and I wish you would use your influence and your pen—if it has a good point->-in behalf of those who are morally sick. Come again.” These was food for thought in this strange sermon, and as it was received it is given again.