Rensselaer Republican, Volume 17, Number 23, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 12 February 1885 — Smart Aleck Poetry. [ARTICLE]

Smart Aleck Poetry.

Senator Hoover, of this district, has introduced a bill State Legislature providing that, hereafter, life-time sentences in the penal institutions of the state Triall consist of twenty-five years, less the time earned bj T| good behavior,—which practically reduces the time to about eighteen years. The bill provides, however , that the first five years of freedom, granted to any person under its provisions, shall be, in a sense, probationary, and if at the, end of that time the person so released shall have “strictly complied with laws of the State of Indiana, of the state in which he shall reside and also of the United States,” he shall be free from the sentence upon which lie was convicted. The second section of the bill provides for the remanding back to prison, to serve the full time of their sentence, of any who shall violate the laws of Indiana, but makes no provision for the return to confinement of those who violate the laws of other states or of the United States; being in that and several other particulars loosely drawn and defective. The bill, in our judgement, is alsd defective in that it makes the tune at confinement too short; and makes no discrimination between —convicts on account of their age. In our opinion it would be a much safer and wiser experiment to tarn loose a seventy year old criminal after ten years of confinement, than it would to release one forty years old, after twenty yeais of confinement. The fundamental idea of the bill, however, which is that iife-time convicts should be enabled, by good behavior, to secure n few years of freedom in their old age, is excellent and should be put into practical effect.

It is stated that Hon. Chas. T. Doxey, i>t AnderSon, recently cleared 8100,000 on petroleum margins. We hope the report is true.—[Laporte Herald Chronicle. And by tint same token we hope the report isn’t true. We don’t want to see Major Doxey, nor any other man, clear 100,000 dollars, nor one thousand cents, on margins of any kind. Dealing in margins is gambling, and ilothing but gambling, and gambling of the worst and most demoralizing kind. More tliah that, though it is gambling, it is not a square game. It is gambling with loaded dice, and with marked cards. It is a kind of gambling in which the professional gamblers lie- and cheat, and deceive the unwary, in a manlier and to an extent that no othet kind of gambling approaches, • tjis a kind of gambling wnich leads io the formation of numberless conspiraces and “corners'’ whereby the market values of . many articles are subjected to sudden fluctuations, thereby entailing, directly or indirectly, upon the honest producers aud consumers' Sf the country, the loss of millions upon millions of their hard earned dollars, every year. It is f all kinds of gambling the most pernicious in its example, and leads more men to moral and fi - ’ ancial ruin; destroys more homes •ud breaks move hearts, th&n all flier kinds of gambling combined. No, brethren of the Herald-Chron- : ie, you should not allow your. >yifipathy for Mr, Doxey’s recent misfortunes, nor .your admiration i. *r certlin tiflits of iiis character, t > lead ydu to give yohr indorse - ’ eut, eVtli in ari indirect way, to pernicious? Practices as deal mg in niargina, and. gambling -in ■=■ locks. They are wrong, and detgpi'ftlizing, and deserving the A udeimTflitfon of all aond lftefr.

Hon. George Major lias been selected to fill the sa%e position that he now holds—Director bf the Northern prison. The people of this section, regardless of party, recognize in Mr. Major that necessary’ qualification to make a good officer, honesty, and are always pleased to hear of his-success.— Remington News. Yesjibut something else besides simple personal, honesty 7 is sometimes required in a good public officer. If that were the onlyqualification, as the "News seems to think, then ofie of Mr. Major’s stall-fed steers would make just ns good a Prison Director as its j owner. A man in the office Mr. j Major holds should have an acture, powerful and veil informed mind. Tie should be possessed of zeal for the public good; and should have the energy and the physical and mental ability 'to make that zeal effective. He requires executive ability, and wide knowledge Of men and of things. Does the amiable and honest old gentleman from Gil boa township answer to this description, even in a remote degree? If not, then we respectfully submit that the please ure which liis neighbors feei in knowing that lie can still continue to draw the salary and enjoy the emoluments of a high office, is but a poor compensation to the people of the state at large, for the injury their interest may suffer at the hands of an incompetent official.

The chronic “onpleas antness’ hfe tween the Oxford Tribune and the Fowler Review sometimes assumes on odd form. Just now “the boys” are taring poetical squibs at each other, of which we append specimens: . - A poem by Ed. Wallace: now in the waste basket of the Thorougbreil Review, reads as follows: Above the rose Tnere is a nose: beneath the nose There is a rose. Nose, rose; Rose, nose; Sweet rose; * Dear nose!! —Oxford Tribune. t After reading the above we looked through the waste basket and found what 4 we suppose, the only’ original John P Carr (with one exception) refers to. Here it is: The Oxford Tribune Has a Crank, Lank crank, Rank crank,— “Blamed blank, Blanked crank, Fool crank. Put devil says that Ed Wallace’s beautiful rose and nose verses should not have been tired into the waste basket of the too fastidious Review. But. lie also says he can write a poem quite as good. Hear him: Aboye the stool There is a fool: Beneath the fool There is a stool; Fool, stool. Stool, fool: Tall stbol, Damphool. —Oxford Tribune.

Fin ri; ams wheat, says the Current. are ihcreasing the wealth of California faster than did her gold-diggings; and yet it attracts little attention east of the Rockies. Had forgdtteu Placer County, this year, discovered, under the ground, a million dollars which it could not eat or wear, instead of* its a tor “find” of a million dollars above the ground Which it can eat and enjoy, there would have been a rush like that of “MO and the spring of ’dO.” Contra CoSta County lias increased its wealth in one year over, £0,090,000. Think what a. furor there would be lut'd" SO,-' 000.000 been taken out of the Cu nr d’Alene;— Ex.