Rensselaer Republican, Volume 17, Number 12, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 27 November 1884 — A Distinguished Citizen Interviewed. [ARTICLE]

A Distinguished Citizen Interviewed.

and Various Misstatements Corrected.

BY THE MAN ABOUT TOWN.

The Delphi Times printed an article recently, charging Colonel Antiquity with having his hair cut in in the most approved fashion, and with wearing a stiff cady, which, it was said, the Col. kept in a band-box, while engaged in the duties of the sanctum. - The Man About Town recently interviewed the Colonel on the subject. He was found in his private sanctum, indelible pencil in hand—the Colonel nev.er writes with a pen—his face being slightly stained with printer’s ink. two ten cent plugs of tobacco in his mouth, his hands, from appearances, had been soaked in a tar barrel for the last week, and presented a very glistening appearance. He was writing on the back of a last year’s poster that he had picked up somewhere, an article on the subject Democrats have the Post-Orfi-ces.” After the usual preliminaries upon the meeting of two cranks, the Col. broke the ice by “I have just fin? ished an article which caused me. very great effort, I have worked on it for ten days, day and night. In fact it is the first original article since I oame to this place. You noticed I looked pale?” We remarked it was a little dark in the room and we had’nt noticed it. ‘‘l have been writing so much since the election, and, in fact, during the campaign, that l am very much reduced in flesh. In my last article I have been ‘doin up’ a few fellows in this town, with a little side whack at the Delphi Times. Ifave you seen the ‘Smooth Bore’ this week ?” We informed him that we had’nt. “Well, that editor of the Times has been casting some Very

severe reflections on my cnaracter. He maliciously accuses me of having had my hair cut, when he knows the same to be false; as I have never had my hair cut since ! lived up behind Allentown, in Penn.” 1 believe the article charges you with wearing a very stylish cady, and with having a band-box to put it in when engaged in the arduous duties of the sanctum. Will you be kind enough to give the facts? “Yes sir,” said the Col. the red blood mounting to his cheeks, being slightly visible through the outer covering. “This is false, and a vile slander on my reputation, and I mean to nail the lie right here. Do you call that a stylish cady?” roared the Col. as he yanked an old hat from his head, the crown caved in, and the brim connected with the crown in three places. We acknowledged the corn, and informed the Col. so at once. And the Post-Office, we suggested. “Well, in this article I have defined my position, and given the feeling of the solid democrats of this place on the subject. And I think I will be the next Post-master at this place.”