Rensselaer Republican, Volume 17, Number 10, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 13 November 1884 — One-Armed and One-Legged Officials. [ARTICLE]

One-Armed and One-Legged Officials.

The one-arm candidate, whose industrious feet have made paths in the forest, is no 5 t such a prominent feature in the exercise of suffrage, as he was several years ago. Men with the conventional number of arms and a practical number of legs now have the courage to crave the vote of the Arkansaw elector. Several years ago, it was useless for a man of complete “running gear” to announce himself a candidate. The people wanted crippled officers. I admit that a paralyzed man would make an admirable treasurer, hut I never could understand why we should have a one-armed sheriff, or a justice of the peace with a bullet in his biain. The cripple system, of course, was an outgrowth of the war, but, after a while, men who had lost arms in feeding a tbreshingrmachine, or who, working at a saw-mill, lost sight of a leg or so during an intense moment of the performance, came forward and declared that, under the cripple system, they were entitled to office, in that the law had failed to name the manner in which the limb should be lost. The question was presented to the Legislature, entitled, “A bill for an act to be entitled an act to place all one-legged men on an equal footing; also to extend equal privileges to maimed men in general.” The discussion incident upon the passage of this bill is remembered as one of the most exciting mental contests known to the intellectual tribulation of Arkansaw. Col. Bottleton, then in the full bloom of passionate utterance, in that perceptible tremor induced by deep seated conviction said:

“I blush for my country, like the white oak leaf reddened by an unexpected wind from the north. Sir,” shaking his fist at the speaker, “I oppose that measure. I do not think that man who lost his leg in heated debate with an alligator should be the equal of the man whose leg was shot off during the war. In the language of the old Roman stump speaker, such a course would bring about a race of base, ignoble slaves. The bright sun rises in the east and sets in the west.” Loud applause rang and echoed throdgh the dark hallways, and spiders no longer able to engage in the work of web-weaving, sought their thickly draped corners and awaited the result. Captain Higginson, advocate of the bill, who speculated in males during the war, arose and snorted like an excited horse. “I cannot understand,” said he, “why a leg isn’t a leg, and notwithstanding this. Ido not understand why the absence of a leg isn’t the absence of a leg in all languages, under all forms of government and previous conditions of servitude. The best officer the state has ever known was one whose leg was amputated by mistake. Several surgeons had been sent out to whittle a man who had suffered in a railroad accident Our friend happened to be passing that way, and while under the influence of potentbeverage, lay down near the railroad track and sank into a deep sleep. The surgeons found him in this Condition and cut off his right leg. Now, Mr. Speaker, can you tell me that this man would

,I--; r - . ' . have made a better officer had he lost his leg in battle ? Nonsense, sir.” This powerful speech, indisputable in argument, bristling in point and firm in patriotism, had the effect of passing the bill. Crippled mon came forward and -were elected to office. Finally they became scarce, for many of them, iu*ving been elected to hold positions of financial trust, left the state —about all they did leave—and sought the retirement of quiet and unobserved life. Crippled and one-armed men are still in demand, but as there are not enough of them to fill* the offices, whole, and sometimes sane men, are selected. This is well. It is a very painful sight to see a crippled state treasurer, carrying a heavy bundle, struggling to catch a train, A inan with two good legs could go through the performance in a manner involving less exertion. It is not humane to subject physical incompleteness to snch~a trying task.— Opie P. Reed, in New York Mercury.