Rensselaer Republican, Volume 16, Number 46, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 24 July 1884 — The Coming Man. [ARTICLE]

The Coming Man.

| “De cornin’ man hasn’t come yet," said Brother Gardner. “No, gem’len, !de cornin’ man hasn’t arrove in dis ; kentry yet, an’ if de rheumatics keeps !on boderin’ me I can’t expect to be on ! airth when be gets heah, an* take him I by the hau’ an’ tell him how powerful ! glad lis to see him. But some of) our chill’en may lib to see him, an’ dar will lie sich a celebrasbun as no Fo’th of July kin hold a candle to. “lie cornin’ man, my friends, will go to Congress unpledged an’ come home unbribed, an’ widout fear of meetin’ de people who sent him dar. “Deeomjn’ man will lie Jected State, County, or City Treasurer, an’ when his term has expired his books will balance an’ his acconnts will be squar* tea cent “De cornin’ man will have a reverence fur de Constitusbun of de Union an* a respect fur da laws of his own State. "De cornin’ man will look sternly upon embezzlement, bribery, an’all sorts of fraud, an’he will take a squar’ stand upon an honest polytical platform. “If de cornin’ man should happen to be ’lected to de Common Council de people of dat city would h’ar such a rattlin’ an’ sbakin’ of dry bones dat de music of ten brass bands couldn’t drown de noise. “As I menshuned befo’, de cornin’ man hasn’t got lieah yet, an’ when I pick upsde daily paper an’ scan de daily record of crime I can't help but feel dat de hero will find sich a job laid out fur him dat he will go down into his butes an’ nebber be seen nor heard of again. "While I don’t want to occupy de waluable time of dis meetin’ ober an hour an’ a-half furder. I feel it nty—dooty to remark dat dis Lime-Kiln Club isn’t gwine to wait fur any cornin’ man to come. De Committee on Finance am gwihe to look into our lodge safe once a week.all freu de y’ar, an’ if ’ de money doan’ tally wid the Secretary’s figgers a cyclone will begin to circle. While de janitor of dis club am only allowed to handle 17 cents per week, de fust time he makes seven an’ five count up thirteen he will be missed from his accustomed paths.“While dar am naterally a fraternal feelin’ in a lodge of dis sort, dat feelin’ must chop squar’ off when a brudder member am seen promenadin’ down to de stashun in company wid a purleeceman. Love one anoder, but return borrowed money exactly when you promise. Stan’ by a member in distress, but let hiui know dat as soon as he gits well he will be expected to aim his own meat an’ ’taters an’ fiah-wood. Anticipate a reduckshun in house-rent, but doan’ move out in de night owin’ de landlord back rent. Be obleegin’, but when a man returns your coffy-mill minus de handle an’ boas cog-wheels doan’ fail to drap a hint dat it would be less trubble fur him to drink tea or pound his coffee in a rag.”— Lime-Kiln Club Papers. .