Rensselaer Republican, Volume 16, Number 45, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 17 July 1884 — Patriarchs. [ARTICLE]

Patriarchs.

In those good old times of long ago the patriarchs were more honored and respected than in these degenerate days. They were learned and distinguished characters then, but we make fowl use of the patriarchs of today. # The more familiar ones of this age u’sually appear on Thanksgiving Day, when “the dear little rooster that grandmama used to play with” has reached the age of maturity, and is sacrificed accordingly. Many a fond father has gazed with dismay at the well-roasted ancient, and then, with a determination to win at all hazards, bravely enters the arena, and struggles for the victory. At the first thrust the blade usually glides from the brown skin as a skate over ice. The wings have evidently been nailed on; the legs—well, from long attachment to their owner, actually refuse to think of ever leaving him. But there is a limit to all things, and the next vigorous lunge sends the knife directly through the bird ,hnd the dish beneath also.By this time he is thorougly aroused, and the attack begins in earnest. A desperate attempt, and the wing and a piece of breast land directly in his wife’s lap, while a leg hits the baby in the ear. But this is only one instance in many. Numberless men boarding at a hotel have been aroused from their slumbers in the early morning by furious hammering, only to find it was the attempt of two men and the cook to halve a spring chicken, with a mallet and a

wedge, itt the back yard, and next day sees the identical halves served up to two strangers sitting at one table. Mere curiosity tempts him to watch. Neither man is chicken-hearted, and' they do their best again and again, and try to gain just one morsel: but, finally, in grim despair, and in appreciation of each other’s misery, they silently shake hands under the table, for fear their triumphant adversary would see them and crow over their defeat, and go out, arm in arm, to take something.—Detroit Free Press.