Rensselaer Republican, Volume 16, Number 41, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 19 June 1884 — He Failed to Fail. [ARTICLE]

He Failed to Fail.

A German tailor in a village in Canada failed a few days ago and called a meeting of his creditors. An investigation seemed to show that his liabilities were $4,000 and his assets SI,OOO. “It thus appears,” said one of his creditors, “that you can pay 25 cents on the dollar.” “Vhel, I doan’ figure like dot,” replied the tailor. “How do you figure?” “Vhy, I pays feefty cents on der dollar.” “How can you do that when your assets only allow for one-fourth?” _ “Vhell, I prings der odder money down from der house!” “He was not permitted to fail— Esser, County Statesman. When a Chicago woman sits down to pare a corn, the stock board bulletins “An Important Movement on Foot.” In. hundreds of instances where Hot Springs and other treatment failed to cuie scrofula and blood disorders, the sufferer has sought and found a cure in Dr. Guytott s Yellow Dock and Sarsaparilla. It enriches the blood, strengthens the urinary and digestive organs, and quickly removes all indications of ill-health and blood disease, from a pimple to a running sore, from a headache to * rheumatic pain. Its superiority over all other blood purifiers and strengthening medicines is admitted by all who test its curative effect and influence. •< A barrel of money makes a hog set in society.—Rew Orleans Picayune. Mensmak’b Peptonizxd bexf Tonic, the only preparation of beef containing its entire nutritious properties. It contains bloodmaking, force-generating, and life-sustaining properties; invaluable for indigestion, dyspepsia, nervous prostration, and all forms of general debility; also, in all enfeebled conditions, whether the result of exhaustion, nervous prostration, over-work, or acute disease, particularly if resulting from pulmonary complaints. Caswell, Hazard A Co., proprietors, New York. Sold by druggists. It seems strange that no matter how much gold a man may steal he is only sent to the penitentiary for the guilt. No dawy need be without Mrs. Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound because she is far distant from d -ug stores. Tr.e proprietor* send it postage paid by mail from Lynn. Mass., In the form of lozenges or of pills; price SI per box. or six for $5. Send for the “ Guide to Health,” which givee full particulars. All dogs have their daze when hit with a club.—New Fork Journal. < Nobody ever taougnt it necessary to urge a pawnbroker to take more interesj; inhis bn tineas. Zfosto* TronsoripC* Thbb**s always room for one mow*—ln the hay laid. Jsw Fork Wi/riA.