Rensselaer Republican, Volume 16, Number 41, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 19 June 1884 — Tricks of Hotel-Keepers. [ARTICLE]

Tricks of Hotel-Keepers.

Men who are the special agents of Midas must pay for their whistle in this identical region where old Ben Franklin wrote his immortal fable. Some time ago Mr. J. Lord telegraphed to Venice thus: “Prepare rooms for J. Lord and family.” In eager ecstatic delight the Venetian hotel-keeper prepared the most sumptuous suite of rooms in the hotel. On arriving, Mr. Lord was met at the portals of the hotel with an obsequiousness and bowingdown servile slavery of so-called politeness that he could not comprehend. The rooms fete with flowers, the menu was unique, the orders were awaited and obeyed in a manner most astounding by the vassals, who at each sentence responded demurely and dutifully, “Oui, mi Lord.” When a moment’s privacy was given his “lordship,” he turned to his better half and said: “Look here, my dear, we’ll have to pay through the nose for all this; these fools and flunkies think I am a nobleman, with the title of a lord. I’ll stop it right off!” Down to the official desk went this sensible man, and, looking the manager full in the face, he said: “My name is Mr. John Lord, and I’m a retired merchant; nothing else!” The manager became livid, and fell on the lounge. The unique menu was supplanted by an ordinary bill of fare, the flowers wilted at once, and the rooms occupied by this retired merchant were up two pair back, and the consequences were his whistle cost considerably less than a live lord’s, and was quite as wholesome.— Baltimore Sun.