Rensselaer Republican, Volume 16, Number 41, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 19 June 1884 — Page 2

house-cleaning. Taking down the pictures, Dusting off the wall—- “ Not at home this morning; Should there he a call." Toast and Oggs for breakfast— Things turned upside down— Wife and girl a-jawing— Husband akipa for town. Taking up the carpet— Taoka and dust for lunch— Boy, for asking questions, Gets from ma a punch. Washing off the windows— Door* all open—wide—- — She with pall and dust-pan Used to be my bride. No fire in the furnace— At the bell a ring—- " Cleaning house to-day, m m, First day of the spring." Night! a doctor callingWife done up in bed. ■> Husband scoots for drug-store; Clerk asks who is dead. Nisht reporter’s item: “Coroner had a ring For a ’stiff ’ found floating— First one of the spring." Verdict of the jury— Foreman sly old mouse—- “ Suicide from Torment, Caused by cleaning house.

A GRASSWIDOW.

Mrs. Cleather was by far the prettiest and generally the most attractive among the whole army of grass widows to be found in the gay and giddy Nynee Tai, the hill station of the N. W. P. India. Naturally, as is always the case in this merry world we live in, being beautiful, attractive and altogether charming, she won the hearts and admiration of most of the stronger Sex and the envy, hatred and malice, of the weaker. That was only to be expected; it is the way of the world, and it would have been altogether out of the common if it had been otherwise. Admirers she had many, though it would have been hard to pick up among the multitude (unless one was behind the scenes) who was more favored than the rest She distributed her attentions equally among them all—at least, so far as the eye could see; and riding out one afternoon with this one, rowing on the lake with another, or dancing with a third, nobody was quite able to fix on any one in particular whom they could tell off as her own distinctive “bowwow," and whom they could set themselves to manufacture stories and scandals about. Five months of the Nynee Tai season had now gone, an d pre tty Mrs. Cleather had managed to pass unscathed through all the fiery accusations of the host of scandal mongers and gossipers of th at festive Anglo-Indian community; until quite lately, when she had evinced a somewhat greater partiality for one of her staff, and set all tongues going at once. “Mind you,” said Mrs. Allison to Mrs. Barnard one afternoon, “I‘ve heard queer stories about this young and in-nocent-looking Mrs. Cleather; not that I believe them; still there is no smoke without fire, you know.” “Quite so,” responded Mrs. Barnard, in her squeaky voice; and Mrs. Dawson tells me she saw two people very like Mrs. Cleather and Capt. Fenn On the lake last night at 11 o’clock!” “Dear me! And all this time her husband slaving away in the plains!” “Yes; and you know they’ve been very much together of late; they say he is always up at her house every morning about 10 or 11, and remains there the best part *f the day.” “Ah, it’s a crying shame,” says Mrs. Allison, “for such scandals to be allowed to go. on in public like this; why does not Mr. Cleather comb up and look after his wife?” “Well, I suppose, poor man, he can’t get away from his duties in the plains, but I think some one ought to warn him of the way his young wife is going on." “Yes, and if I only knew him a bit better I’d do so myself just out of pure Christian charity." “But what could one tell him ? You Bee there is as yet no direct evidence of anything exactly wrong.” “No, true, my dear, but if this kind of thing goes on much longer there will be. mark my word. The truth must come to light some day,” Meanwhile pretty Mrs. Cleather, the pride of the “bow-wows” and the envy of her sex, pursued the even tenor of her ways, utterly callous of what people thought or said about her—a friend of everybody who knew her well,*and could appreciate her pleasant manners and conversation, and the enemy, though not of her own making, of others who knew her but slightly or not at all. The season was on the wane at Nynee TaL The rains were over and once more the lake shone forth in all its former glory, and the overhanging trees and rocks covered with ferns and moss, with which its banks were surrounded, made the whole more like a picture in fairyland than a reality in the hills of northern India. Every one ■was making the most of the last few weeks that were left of the season, and dances, theatricals, picnics and dissipations of all sorts crowded one on top of the other day after day. Mrs. Cleather was everywhere, and the charm and the spirit of every ball or picnic she went to. Certainly she did give people a faint excuse for talking, as Capt. Fenn latterly was never absent from her side, and had these last few weeks evidently taken his place as chief of the numerous staff of her would-be-admirers : but then he was a personal friend of Cleather’s, her husband, and would not that be sufficient in accounting for the decided preference for him among the others by the young grass widow ? One Thursday afternoon about the beginning of October Mr. Allison, Mrs. Barnard and Mrs. Dawson had a small and select picnic of their own at that most delightful of all resting places, namely the inn known as Rest by the Way, at Douglas Dale, half way down on the road to Ranibagh. It is a picturesque little house, situated in the middle of the valley and surrounded by the most beautiful of gardens, redolent with the sweet odor of acacia and orange trees, and planted out in the most artistic style .with palms, grasses,, trees, and bushes of all sorts, western a« well as oriental. The garden produces fruits of all kinds, cherries,

apples, plantains, strawberries, and, in fact, everything the thirsty traveler could'wish for; added to which there are lovely walks under the cool shade of the trees, and green arbors such as are seldom seen, where one may hide away from the maddening crowd and be at rest, lulled by the rippling of the silver stream near at hand and the singing of the birds overhead. Such a place is Douglas Dale, a veritable garden of Eden, a second paradise. The sun was beginning to set over the purple hills to the north as Mrs. Allison was gradually collecting the remnants of her army, as they came in two by two from their walks and talks on earth. Mrs. Allison, more staid than the rest, had remained behind on the veranda, dear Col. Verriker so kindly remaining too, to take care of her—so kind and thoughtful of him! but it was not the first time this gallant officer had performed this gallant task. Mrs. Allison herself was a grass widow of a somewhat doubtful character, although, according to her own ideas, prim and proper to a degree; still she had no real objection to one of the male sex, other than her lawful spouse, being tacked on to her apron strings for the time being, though the same arrangement with others was scandalous in her eyes to a degree. The party had now all arrived and were sitting in the far corner of the veranda sipping tea and chatting previous to their start up the hill again for Nynee Tai, when they were surprised by the clatter of pony hoofs coming over the bridge towards Jthe house; and a lady all alone, without even a syce (groom), rode into the garden and pulled up in front of the veranda. She had evidently ridden fast, for her pony was very hot and she very much out of breath. Getting her foot out of the stirrup .she slid down off her saddle by herself, and leading the pony up to the door called the bearer. Words fail to describe the astonishment of the tea party at the other end of the veranda when, by the light of the newly lit lamp over the doorway, they recognized the features of the “spotless and innocent” Mrs. Cleather. Their excitement knew no bounds; they dare not move for fear of being seen, and thus spoiling the tableau of which they would doubtless be witnesses. It was only Mrs. Allison who could not resist saying in a rather audible whisper “There I told you so! How much for the child’s innocence now, I should like to know ? You may be sure she’s on no good errand down here all alone at this time of the evening.” However, Mrs. Cleather was much too tired or excited with her ride to notice anything, and the group under the veranda were quite unseen by her. Presently the landlord came to the door. “Did you get my note this afternoon?” “Yes, ma’am.” “Is all ready ?” “Yes.” “Which is the room ?” “If you will kindly come this way I will show you;” and he led her through the door leading into a small apartment at the other end of the veranda generally known as the “Bow-wow’s Cave.” “Dear, dear me, I’d give my best diamond ring to know Avhat she’s up to!” says Mrs. Allison, “Well, I feel rather curious on the subject,”-said a gallant major of the Bengal staff corps sitting at her side. Did you notice the pony she rode ? It was a bay mare; I know it by the black stocking on the near hind, she ran in the last Gymkhana, and belongs to Capt. Fenn.” Ah, doubtless; she always rides his ponies—in fact, they are almost as much hers as his.” “Well,” continued Mrs. Allison, “Capt Fenn’s pony or no, I don’t care, but I should like very much to know what she is doing down here.” “And perhaps, Mrs. Allison,” said a third party, “this is not the first time she’s been down here at this time.” “Who knows?” said the colonel. “She’s as lovely as Venus, but you bet as cunning as a serpent, and it’s always these quiet ones that are the first to go wrong.” Their doubts on the subject were soon, however, made clearer to them, for while they were discussing the subject another pony and rider arrived at the cottage. This time it is a man, and, though enveloped in an overcoat and with a large Teral hat op his head, it was easy to guess who it was. Moreover the syce and pony both tell the tale, as it is the steed that Captain Fenn rides regularly along the Mall every day. The excitement of the lookers-on almost knew no bounds now, and is in; creased when the aged landlord again comes forth, and to the very audible query of “Is Mrs. Cleather arrived?” answers in the affirmative. “Which is the room she engaged?” “The small room with the red purdah over the door,” answers mine host, and retires once more to the inner recesses of his house, evidently not wishing to be more in the way than possible. The gentleman tiirns round, orders his syce to take the pony to the stables, walks steadily down to the little door at the other end, and lifting aside the purhahsays: “Are you there, -?” calling Mrs. Cleather by her Christian name; and a sweet voice answers from within: “Yes; is that you come at last? Entrez and shut the door." It would require an artist of no mean ability to paint the countenances of the party, both men and women, seated round the table in the other corner of the veranda. It was more a look Of intense delight and satisfaction that displayed itself on the face jof both Mrs. Allison and Mrs. Barnard, and a look more of surprise and wonder on those of the others. ' “Come, let us go; this is no fit place to be in such a time of night as this,”, quoth Bits. Allison; and having ordered their jompans and ponies they start on their homeward way. They discuss the affairs of the evening, and nothing is too bad for either Capt. Fenn or, Mrs, Cleather. The fair ones of the party always believed “there was something more than a mere flirtation in if, but to come to this—too dreadful! And what apiece of scandal for the end of the season, too!” As for the men of the

party, they were more puzzled than anything. Capt Fenn was such a friepd of Cleather’s they could hardly believe it ; “however,” they pay, “anything is possible with a woman at the bottom of it.” By 11 o’clock that night the news has spread like wildfire among the select gossip-circles of Nynee Tai, and even one fair dame, more energetic than the rest, wends her way up to Mrs. Cleather’s house to see what she can wean out of the bearer. All he knows is that the mem sahib wept off in a great hurry, and he doesn’t think she would be back till the next day. Worse and worse! Was there ever such a barefaced piece of scandal as this? And they determined to-morrow to let every one in the place know of what has happened. Morning breaks at Nynee Tai, and the sun rises over the mountain tops in all its oriental glory, making everthing around seem bright and happy. ’Little does pretty Mrs. Cleather think there is a thunderstorm of no small proportions about to burst over her head. Mrs. Allison, Mrs. Barnard and Mrs. Dawson are walking on the Mall about 12 o’clock, when who should they meet but Capt. Fenn himself. He stops and talks to them, in answer to their queries as to where he was the evening before says: “Well, I had rather a slow evening at the club. I had intended to go down to Douglas Dale to meet Cleather; h.s wife got a telegram from him in the afternoon, telling her he would be there at 7:30. So I sent down my pony to Ranibagh for him to ride up the hill on. I believe they remained there all night. I’m rather expecting to see them coming up the Mall now. By Jove, there they are!”

Tight Trousers.

“Here, conductor, this young man’s fainted.” The words were uttered in a tone of great excitement by a stout woman of about 40 years of age recently in a Columbia avenue car, and as she spoke a slim youth who was seated beside her in a corner of the car fell forward and dropped in a heap upon the straw. With the assistance of a gentleman the conductor lifted the senseless youth on the seat, and two minutes later, as the car passed a drug store, pulled the bell-strap, and, followed by half a dozen interested passengers, five of whom were women, carried him into the store, where he was placed on a lounge in the back room. A doctor was hurriedly summoned, and after a disappearance of about ten minutes the young man and physician came out of the room, which, had been kept closed, arm-in-arm, The young man’s face was Still pale, and he walked with a very perceptible tremor, After a few moment’s rest the young man got on another car and went away, and the doctor said: “This is the fourth case this month I have seen of the deadly effects of wearing tight trousers, and had that young man not been, attended to promptly he might have been in great danger.” “Tight trousers?” queried a bystander, incredulously. “Yes, sir; tight trousers! Why you can not imagine how often we doctors have to treat cases of illness brought on by no other cause. Take that young man, for instance; his trousers were at least four sizes too small for him; not too short, of course, but too tight, and for hours and hours he had been walking about with a pressure of at least 275 pounds to the square inch on his o/exli vwisectoH arteries, which are situated in the calves of the human leg. This tremendous pressure forces the blood into channels not able to carry it without undue straining, and although the victim feels no pain he is liable at any moment to topple over in a swoon, and unless relief is promptly given a long and serious illness is likely to follow. It is a similar trouble to that experienced when it was the fashion for the ladies to wear very tight sleeves, except that in the case of tight trousers the material is heavier, the arteries are larger, and the result apt to be more dangerous and difficult to relieve.”— Philadelphia Record.

He Was a Rustler.

“I am a rustler, and don’t you furgit •it,” said a man with a broad-brimmed hat on and a belt full of deadly weapons on Front street. “Em a bad man from Dakota, and. yer kin put me down whenever ther’s any scrimmagin’ ter be done. I’m thar when yer want some big, work, an’ don’t yer furgit it. None o’ the white liyered sons o’ wash-women kin run over me. I’m a rustler, and don’t yer furgit it!” “A number of men gathered around him out of curiosity and a little bit of insignificant manhood stepped forward and said: , ’’ “Shake, pardner. I’m a rustler, myself, an’ ther’ aint no white livered cuss from Dakota that kin come around hyer an’ brag about his stuff ’thout lickin’ me.” % , “You? You?” asked the surprised Dakotan. “Why, if you lived whar I come from, they'd eat yer up alive.” “You’re a—ety—liar.” “Thar, now! yer needn’t think yer kin say what yer blamed please, jes cause yer little. Es yer don’t hush, I’ll slap yer jaws.” “Oh! You great big, knock-kneed coward!” cried the little man, frothing at the mouth, and the crowd clapped their hands and cheered heartily; but before the cheer had died away, the Dakota giant had the little fellow bent across his knee and was spanking him like all sin. “Yer thought yer’d come a game o’ bluff, did yer. Yer little, stinkin’, red headed pup. I heard yer tell that feller over yander what yer’d do, an’ that ar war what made me, talk big. I knowed year’d take it up. I war layiir fur ye, youngster.’’ The little man howled dismally, btit the big man continued to spank, and when he was tired, he said: “Thar, I reckon that’ll do yer, maybe you’ll learn by this that ther’s a darned sight o’ foolishness in the stories about little men flaxin’ big mis. Yer ktn go over thar, now, an’ tell yer p irdner how yer got. fooled.”— Tfirouqh Mail. WnfsKEY is made from corn, but you can’t make a wife believe when she smells liquor on her husband that her has ta-te’d nothing stronger than grain.

GREAT MEN’S BAGGAGE.

' >■■■ The Women Always Have Trunk*. Herbert, the veteran head usher of the old, St. Nicholas Hotel in New York, says of people who carry baggage: “As a general rule, I have observed that women have more baggage than men. When a man travels he wants as little baggage as possible, and he will get along without any if he can. Drummers are excepted, of course. They will fill a hotel with baggage if you will let ’em. Porters never like to see a drummer come to the house, because that generally means heavy trunks. We never had a baggage elevator at the St! Nicholas, and the carrying of trunks was always a big job. I have seen great strong men give way. I have seen four porters struggling with one trunk. It almost seemed the rule that the more important a man was the less baggage he would have. Take Governor Horatio Seymour, for instance, who was a steady patron. I have often seen him come with a little carpet bag. Senator Conkling carried very little baggage, but his wife, a delicate woman, had plenty of baggage when she came with him. Senator John J. Crittenden used to come with no more baggage than you could put in a tobacco box, when he came alone. But when Mrs. Crittenden came with him the porters would stagger under thirty or forty trunks. Mrs. Crittenden was very fond of dress and entertaining people, and all the trunks had to be taken up stairs. “When the Canadians came the porters trembled. Sir Charles McNab would keep the porters busy three hours getting in his baggage. Sir Charles Grey, Governor-General of Jamaica, brought a cartload of baggage. Presidents of the United States were common visitors to the St. Nicholas. Matty Van Buren used to come with baggage that looked like a lady’s reticule. He was a plain man, with no such airs as his son, Frince John, as they used to call him. President Buchanan was another plain man, who did not carry much baggage when he came alone. But when Miss Harriett Lane came with him there was baggage enough to fill an express wagon. Miss*Lane dressed a great deal and had a great deal of company. When she came to or left the hotel the porters generally got tired carrying her baggage. I think I can see them now puffing on the stairs under the load of her big trunks. After the boys had rested they all said she was a dear, nice young woman. General McClellan’s father-in-law, General Marcy, used to be a frequent visitor at the hotel. He did not have a great quantity of baggage, but his daughter, General McClellan’s wife, like most of the lady visitors, had plenty of it. I shall never forget the day she fell sick at the reception of the news of the battle of Antietann. I thought the poor lady would die in the house. “The biggest lot of baggage I ever saw in the hotel was when General Wool and staff came there during the draft riots. The hotel looked like a military camp. We fed 1,400 persons in a day, most of them witlfout baggage, on the day of the great cable celebration. Major, General Benjamin F. Butler came often to visit us, and always carried moderate baggage. The man whose baggage grew most after he came was the famous Marquis of Waterford, who went on a spree with our head porter, Tom Adams, and was locked up in station house for breaking lamps in Broadway. The nobility took a great fancy for Tom.”

Making a Directory.

“I tell you what it is, you or any one who have never got up a city directory, don’t know what queer ideas people have, or how many seem to be really above their occupation,” remarked a canvasser for the new city directory, as he was about to make a memoranda on a slip of paper. “At some of the houses you can’t make.people understand anything. I asked a lady how many lived at her house, when she flared up and said it was none of my business. She then took the time to ventilate her mind. She said if she did rent her rooms to a few- lodgers it was her own business, and no one need worry about it. ‘I ain’t obliged to rent my rooms,’ she said, but it’s no harm for a woman to make an honest penny in this way if she wants to.’ I finaliy made her understand that I only wanted to know the names of her lodgers to put into the directory as a guide. She then realized that she got a hot box without cause, and apologized. Then there is the whitewasher. You have to take it down ‘fresco artist.’ Just so with nearly every business. A laborer is a ‘contractor,’ a saloonkeeper is a ‘liquor merchant,’ a barber is a ‘tonsorial artist,’ a common sign painter wants to be put down as an ‘artist,’ the reporter considers ‘journalist’ as the proper word to designate his occupation. Why, even an old junk dealer considers that nothing short of ‘broker’-would tell of the business he is in. Then there are the gamblers, they want to be put down as ‘gentlemen of leisure.’ The clerks, that is a large number of them, want to use some word to express their situation in such a way as to lead people to think they owned at least half their employers’ business. The work ‘clerk’ after their name is a terrible thing. They want ‘salesman,’ ‘confidential secretary’ or something of that sort. I’ve noticed this fact, though, that the people who afe not above their calling, who want it put down in plain English without the use of high sounding words, are the most prosperous. They have gone into the business with a purpose to succeed, and they’ll do it too. Yes, we meet with all kinds of receptions. At one place I visited in the Third ward, they threw dish water on me, and called me a ‘meddling dude.’ I called at one place, and was met at the door by an old lady, who not only slammed the door in my face, but let the dog'Out of the back way,, and 'before I could get out of the yard the dog was busily engaged with me. It was very funny for the dog, and it wasn’t so uninteresting for me.—Peet’s Sun.

Rooster Gallantry.

A lady in this city, hearing an unusual commotion in , her poultry-yard one morning, ran out and saw three roosters making frantic efforts to extricate a hen that had got her head fastened between the boards of a fence in an attempt to

fly over it, while about twenty old hens were walking and feeding about the yard as unconcernedly as if nothing unusual was going on. The action of the roosters may be explained by the proverbial gallantry of the sex, while the> hens were probably taking quite a light in seeing the belle of the flock and a hated rival effectually strangled.— Vallejo (Cal.) Times.

A War Story.

At the time of the outbreak of the rebellion, Major-General David E. Twiggs, a Louisiana man, was in charge of the Military Department of Texas. A large portion of the regular army was serving within that department, distributed in small bodies over an immense tract of country. The Government was persuaded that Twiggs secretly acted in concert with the Texas authorities, and suffered them to beleaguer the Union troops in every direction, so that no measures could be taken to prevent their surrender in detail to overwhelming numbers. Thus very nearly all the officers and enlisted men were put under a strictly worded parole not to serve in any capacity during the whole war, unless exchanged. Some, but not all of the immediate staff serving under Twiggs, were staunch in their loyalty to the Union, and they did what they could under the’adverse circumstances which enveloped them. S —-— ~

Among these was one of the best of men, Major Wm. A. Nichols, Assistant Adjutant-General. As chief of the staff he could do much by foreseeing and providing for emergencies before they occurred. It was through his contrivance that a valuable battery of artillery escaped from the State and was given to the Government. In a note to Major-General E. D. Townsend, dated March 7, 1862, Major Nichols says: “I send you a spool of cotton to show what shifts we were put to. It contains an order to French (William H. French, who commanded the battery) to ‘cuidar’ (take care) for his guns—find it.” The spool of cotton presented the appearance of any ordinary one; but on removing the label pasted over the end and concealing the hole which passes through the center of the spool, I discovered a small roll of thin paper, on which was written the following order:

Headquarters Department of Texas, San Antonio, Feb. 10,1861.—The .Commanding Officer, Fort Duncan: Sir: Move instantly with the artillery companies upon Brazos Santiago; take your arms, guns and necessary equipments and camp equipages; leave your horses on embarkation. The formal orders have been intercepted. Texas will demand the guns of the batteries. A steamer will be ready to take you by sea. Not only were the movements of the army closely watched by the Texans, but some of Twiggs’ staff took service against the Government and did all in their power to wrest everything of value from the loyal officers and convey it to the Texan authorities. In order to evade such vigilance, the wife of Major Nichols managed to send the spool containing the order to the wife of the British Consul at Eagle Pass, inclosing it in a letter, in which she asked that it be conveyed to Major French. The lady despatched it by a Mexican boy, who safely delivered it, and French’s sagacity guided him to its real objects. He skillfully eluded the beleaguers and saved all their guns;—P/iiZatZelp/iia Inquirer. ~

The Cause of Earthquakes and Volcanoes.

Earthquakes and volcanic eruptions are closely related to each other, like ice and snow. Each may be the effect of a different cause or both may result from the same cause, as there is evidently more than one cause at work to produce these effects. This statement will enable the general reader to form a tolerably clear idea of my meaning, and yet I am not satisfied with it myself. Therefore, I will vary it by saying that a chain of causes seem to combine, the different effects of which are earthquakes and volcanic eruptions. The most general cause of earthquakes is the tension and pressure of the crust, by which the oscillations and plications thereof have been produced. The tension and pressure have been caused by the shrinking and contracting of the crust, consequent upon its cooling. Plications are caused by a lateral or side pressure, in consequence of the contracting of the crust, whereby the strata, if of clay, loam, etc., are thrown into waves or ridges, giving an appearance something like a fluted column. I will give a familiar example of the forces that produce slight earthquakes, iff order that the young may have a clearer idea upon the subject. On building a fire in a stove, when the pipe begins to heat it will expand. At first there is a tension so slight that the iron of the pipe is able to resist it, but as the heat increases, the strain, or tension, overcomes the resistance suddenly, as a stick breaks when the strain is too great, and with a cracking sound. This is caused by expansion; but similar phenomena will result from contraction when the heat is subsiding. Thus it is with the earth’s crust. The straining, by either contraction or expansion, causes some place to yield with a loud report, instead of a “cracking,” as in the case of a stove pipe. If this event occurs near a volcano then an erupt ion ensues. Also, as there is a reflex action, terminating on the surface of the ocean of internal fire, an upheaval of the crust results, and if there is an ocean of water immediately above a tidal wave must be the consequence. Furthermore, should this slight shock of earthquake open a fissure in the crust, from a fountain of water being suddenly converted into steam, with not room enough in which to expand, other shocks will follow, attended by upheavels, earthquake wave and volcanic disturbances. These will continue for a shorter or longer period, and be slight or heavy, according to the amount of water precipitated, the size of the fissure and other conditions. Portland (Grogan) West Shore. % ■ . Dolls are now made that cry *and say papa and mamma, and now all that is really needed to make a childless home supremely happy is't® smear molasses candy over the carpets and furniture. — PhUadelphia Chronicle-Herald.

THE FAMILY DOCTOR.

i The following cure for hiccoughs wan devised several months ago, and /since then has been successfully employed in I numerous instances by several Sit erect and inflate the lungs fully. Then, retaining the breath, bend forward slowly until the chest meets the knees. After slowly rising again to the erect posture, exhale the breath. Repeat this process a second time, and the nerves will be found to have received an access of energy that, will enable them to perform their natural functions. Malaria. —CoL G. H. Mendell says: In the great valley of California, over the whole of it, malaria prevails, often in most violent forms. It exists in uplands, remote from marshy districts, and I have known limited districts of upland adjacent to each other, where malaria prevailed in one while absent in the other. Some years ago, while engaged in a study of irrigation, then beginning to be applied on the dry plains of California, I was led to notice the level of standing water in wells, in reference to which there is a great difference in our interior plains. I soon noticed that shallow wells and malaria were frequent companions. Where the wells were seventy feet (or thereabouts) deep, there was freedom from malaria. Having noticed these coincidences, I' afterward investigated their occurrence in a great many cases by inquiries “of” farmers wtth whom I had conversation. In one or two cases of exceptional malarial districts in the foot-hills, which are generally free from this pest. I found the water in the wells near the surface. Ido not recall a single instance of shallow wells where The family were free from fevers, always intermittent, I believe. I therefore connect the presence of water near the surface of the ground with the existence of malaria. Whether it is due Jo the mere presence or to the fact that it is drank, or to both, I am unable to say. —Health and Home. Atonic Dyspepsia.—Atonic means without, or diminished tone or vigor. As applied to dyspepsia, it denotes a form of it resulting from an enfeebled condition of the system. The tendency to it is quite often inherited. It is frequently one of the characteristics of old age, the entire digestive tract sharing in the general decrease of physical power. It may also have its origin in whatever lets down the normal vitality —sedentary occupations, bad hygienic surroundings, protracted loss of sleep, especially if the hours due to it are spent in study or pleasure, over-brain work, habitual lack of mental employments. The' fallowing are some of the prominent symptoms: A feeling of weight, or a distressing sense of uneasiness in the stomach after eating, and generally lasting for hours; the “gulping” up of rancid and offensive acids, and flatulence in the stomach and bowels ; little or no appetite, and often a positive disrelish for food; an almost entire absence of thirst; an inflamed condition of the throat and back of the mouth (from the extension upward of the irritated membrane of the stomach), rendering the throat dry and the voice husky; constipation, from the enfeebled action of the intestines, the fluid portion of their contents being unduly absorbed; in some cases palpitation of the heart and difficulty of breathing, causing the patient to fear that he has some dangerous heart trouble; languor, and sometimes uncontrollable drowsiness after meals. When the dyspepsia has continued long, the digestive tubules are liable to undergo fatty degeneration and wasting, with loss of power to secrete the gastric juice. Prior to this change of structure the ailment is curable. If it is due to specific causes, these causes must be removed. If it is part of an enfeebled physical state, this must be remedied. The family physician alone can treat the case with any success. The medicines which .the patient, of himself or from the advice of unwise friends, might be likely to take would in many cases only aggravate the disease. Indeed, the physician himself will depend very little on medicine and mainly on a careful regulation of the diet; personal habits, domestic influences. Especially will he urge, where it is possible, frequent changes from one’s ordinary caresand surroundings.— Youth's Companion.

The Only Thing He was Fit For.

Somerville Journal: “John,” said a father to his son, “you have disappointed me gratly. I have given you every opportunity to learn something, but it has been just money thrown away. You , are the stupidest young man I ever saw. You know nothing.” “It is true, father,” said John with a sigh. ■ T' “I never see yoh with a book in your hand,” pursued the father; “you never take up a newspaper; you know nothing of current events. You don’t take after your mother or me, for wp’ve both got good natural intelligence. What you’re going to do for a living is a puzzle to me. There isn’t a single earthly thing you can turn your hand to.” “But I’m not altogether an imbecile, father. I can count up to a hundred.” “I know it, and that’s what vexes me’” “Why?” “Why, don’t you see, if yiou didn’t know that much you would make an excellent juryman for criminal trials, but your knowing that much entirely ( disqualifies you. It's a sad case.” In China, white in the head dress, in the shoes, or in the hem of the garment is a sign of mourning. Women put a white band around their heads; men braid a-white silk instead of a black in their queues. Men tailors make all the clothes; the women make tfaeir own shoes. A Chinese bride dress is scarlet. It would be a bad omen if any white apparel should be placed on her person. Dn. E. H. Thurston thinks he has -- found a true antidote for the sting of bees. It is carbonate of ammonia, powdered and kept in a tightly-corked bottle. When a sting is received the surface over the wound should be wet, and a small amount of the powdered carbonate applied. The pain is instantly relieved, and the.injured place never swell*.