Rensselaer Republican, Volume 16, Number 35, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 8 May 1884 — Hard on Old Dave. [ARTICLE]

Hard on Old Dave.

Those two windy old worthies, Daye Turpie and Bayless Hanna, lately received the following more truthful than complimentary “setting out” in the Chicago News: “tV’e have not yet decided who was the star orator at the Iroquois banquet. The honor lies, we think, between old Boyless Hanna and old Dave Turpie. Both of these venerable barnacles are typical lndianians, and we can conceive no more horrifying situation than to have them both turned loose upon an assemblage of unsuspecting human beings. Old Turpie is an especially vociferous talker. He is one of the ranting, loquacious vendors of oratorical platitudes and boisterous retailers of old political chestnuts frequently mentioned by -crossroad weekly papers as “old men eloquSfft.” He talks as if He were talking in the face of a fierce wind, and Ills gestures ax*e those of an unskilled butcher ripping up the carcass of a beef. Hanna puts his platitudes f at ypu in tin impressive mid solemn way’ but Turpie hurls them around loose, and throws them light and left as if he were at work in a howling alley instead of a /comparatively smallroom. iitipi’cases you us a man who has .always been in the habit of addreHifig v atch meetiugs, whiie. Turpie’s is that Liml of eloquence some of us are in the habit of hairing from the waiter who sails down the main aisle or a cheap restaurant shoaling 'corned beef and cabbage for one.” , y /