Rensselaer Republican, Volume 16, Number 35, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 8 May 1884 — Page 6

THE PRIES POEM. ‘Hriftfc” orirtl the editor mm. "Oh. brine— Ere the robins n««t In the linden tree And the emell of thepmetes ledee the breeno— A poem made to the theme of Bprlne; i Ho hackneyed, palsied, senile rhyme Poet* have anng slnoe the blrlh of time. Bet a new, appropriate, beautiful thing? The ports gathered from tar around— The poets of high and of low degree— And, tuning their lyres to the eonoert O, They filled the air with a vernal sound; _ They aang of the sun and the April show rs. Of the brooks and the birds and the bad ding flowers— Bat the editor bit his thumb and frowned. At last to the editor’s presence came j A slender youth with a billons eye, j . And never he deigned to make reply To the editor’s ’quest to know his name. But when he unfolded his poem there The shout that ravished the cold, pale air Bespoke the poet's eternal fame. ’Twas not a lyric of purling rill, , * Nor a ballad of bird nor a rhyme of flow r. Twas not a poem of blossoming bow r. Nor a song of the sheep on the distant hill. Ah. no, this beautiful Owed to Spring . Waa a much more plain snd practical thing Twas a spherical, four-grained quinine pul. —Eugene Field, in Chicago News. A MORAL FOR THE DAT. A splendid son a floe old father had, . Whose youth and strength and beauty made him glad. Through teething, mumps and measles he had n&ssed Outgrowing all bis childish ills at last. Well formed, well featured, good as well »s gay, Fitted, beseemed, his fellow men to sway. No wonder that the parent’s heart was proud. And that his boasts were olten lon g and loud. Yet when the youth had just to manhood IT. hms gome thoughts and fancies quite his own. He pnt aside the best and choicest fare. Convinced that man should live on naught but air. The only proper food was air, he said. And men were gross because too grossly fed. Butchers and baker quite too rich were made, By fools protected in their needless trade. His dimes and dollars he desired to keep. And would, while air was plentiful and cheap. This doctrine he so ably argued out, _ The father wondered, though he had to doubt. He begged the son his noble rage to quell. And not to practice what he preached so well. Of all his father's fears the youth made light; Ho only cared to know that he was right. To live on air alone he bravely tried. Bat faded soon, and then at last he died. “How Indiscrete!’ exclaimed thesaddened sire; “And yet his conrage we may well admire." - moral: Let other fools their startling theories try; Wait yon, until comes your turn to die. — N. Y. Sun.

THE “PIE-BIRERS;”

-ORTbe Girl who Fell in Lore With the Author. The literary sensation of 1883 was “The Pie-Biters,” a novel of contemporaneous human interest appearing serially in the Centennial Magazine. It was a work of considerable force Mid originality. Its plot was novel and interesting;' the characters were vigorously, though at times crudely drawn, and the dialogue was of a popular breezy nature. Its chief attraction, however, was the air of mystery which surrounded its origin. The public, ignorant of the identity of its author, ascribed it to numerous writers of more or less fame, and quite exhausted its ingenuity in endeavoring to solve the riddle. The publishers with great shrewdness used this mystery to good advantage to advertise the work, and the press, influenced by the popular interest in the authorship, used all the powerful means at its command to discover the secret. The eminent Mr. Griddle, of the New York Forum, who was popularly siipposed to sustain intimate relations with the publishers, asserted with unanswerable arguments that the author of ‘ ‘The Pie-Biters” was William Howis, of Beanville; while the San Francisco Nugget with equal positiveness declared that it plainly recognized through the work the playful hand of John Grass, author of the famous “Large Trowsers.” The lesser newspaper fry, following the example of their noted brethren, expended much ingenuity and enthusiasm in bringing forward their own particular candidates. Seven cities contended for the honor of the birth place of Homer, but this was collapsed; for no less than sixty-seven cities, fourteen villages, and three railway crossings vigorously claimed the author of “The Pie-Biters.” “Pie-Biter” hats became the rage: the “Pie Biter” waltz was the musical gem of the day, and the eminent showman, Mr. Bamum, publicly offered $5,000 to the author if he would reveal his identity and consent to exhibit himself beneath the canvas with the bearded lady and the Andalusian fat boy. Among all the admirers of “The PieBiters” there was none more wildly enthusiastic over its merits than Miss Lucy Sheldon. She garnished her conversation with plentiful quotations from its pages, ana drew unfavorable comparisons between her friends and the characters in the novel. She lived in a complete atmosphere of romance, and bridged the time intervening between the issues of the story by rehearsing its previous incidents. The burden of her rhapsodizing deluged the patient ears., of Absalom Perking her worthy guardian. But frequently Frederick Kane was caught in the shower. Frederick Was the old gentleman’s favorite nephew, and therefore was always a welcome guest at Perkins Villa. That is, whenever a lapse in his reportorial duties permitted his«absence from the officeof tne Morning Clarion. He had known and admired Lucy from her infancy, said this admiration, nourished by his constant association with her, grew into an earnest devotion. Whether she reciprocated this feeling or not was a matter of some doubt in his mind. But he bided his time. “ • One pleasant Saturday afternoon Frederick ran down to the pleasant suburb where his uncle resided. His ancient relative greeted him with customary warmth, but Lncy, who was feverishly hutting with a hairpin the leaves of the latest usue of the Centennial, scarcely noticed his entrance. “A fresh attack of the old disease,” whispered the ancient Absalom, playfully jabbing at his nephew’s riba. “So I see,” assented Frederick. “It may be contagious; let ns fly to the billiard roam while there js yet time” Lucy raised her hejuTwoornfuliy and glared' at Frederick. ‘“Snusis newspaper wit, I suppose, ” she said. “You sneer

At my enthusiasm over this story, bnt that's beoause you can’t appreciate it Yet I can Bee that you’re dying of envy because you can’t write anything half so good.” ' “I only envy the author his power of winning your approval,” gallantly answered Frederick. “That’s quite worthy of your society column. Why do you waste it on me? I believe you pretend to be ,a writer. And what do you do? You write about horrid horse races, and police courts, and prize fights, and—and—and—church fairs.” “Sharp, though slightly illogical,” said old Absalom as he left the room, beckoning Frederick to follow. But that gentleman stoutly held his ground. “Well,” he argued, “the duties you mention may not be the highest form of art, bnt they may serve as stepping stones to better things. You will remember that even Dickens was once a reporter. ” “I hope," said Ducy, feelingly, “you don’t claim that Dickens wrote anything like ‘The Pie-BitersT^ — “Certainly not,” said Frederick. She looked at him dubiously for a moment as if uncertain of his meaning, then fell to devouring the pages of the magazine. Frederick with an amused smile sauntered out and joined his uncle in the billiard room. He did not see Lucy again until be met her that evening at the dinner table. Her cheeks glowed and her eyes sparkled; she even looked at Frederick with some degree of toleration. “And liow are our worthy friends ‘The Pie-Biters’?” queried Absalom with a pdrtentious wink at Frederick. “Now, Guardy,” cried Lucy, “don’t turn on me too. It’s bad enough to hear this penny-a-liner scoffing without you aiding him. ” “I’m sure I haven’t said anything,” expostulated Frederick. “No-o-o! But you look it and that’s a great deal worse. I know you think I am a silly girl to waste so much time over a novel, but to my mind ‘The PieBiters’ is the finest work ever written. It goes straight to the heart; it strikes responsive chords. ” Here the old gentleman turned very red and furtively kicked fit Frederick under the table.

“Ah!” cried that young man, grimacing with pain, “do you think so? Perhaps I am incompetent to fairly judge it, but I frankly confess that I cannot find in it the qualities you rave about. To my mind it seems to be written with but one purpose and that i«—> —” • “To elevate struggling humanity,” cried Lucy. “No; to fill the purse of the author.” “That’s quite too bad, Mister Kune,” cried the offended girl, with a heavy stress upon the “Mister.” You willfulla misjudge the author. I know he is a noble hearted man; one without a single selfish thought. The author of ‘The Pie Biters’ mercenary! No, indeed! Every line he has written shows his disinterested character and his deep sympathy with human nature. Could anything be more artistic and gentlemanly than his treatment of the heroine in the October number? You remember that she has just invited Maj. Barnham to elope to Pittsburg with her, and what does this grand author make him reply? - -Listen: “Pearl Patehen, I can never consent to such a sacrifice on your part. The man who would be base enough to ruthlessly tear a red headed girl from her home at the near approach of a severe winter has no abiding sympathy in his heart for her freezing family. * ” At this point Uncle Absalom snorted derisively, but dexterously changed it into a liars 1\ cough when he noticed his ward’s indignant gaze turned upon him. Frederick eyed his plate intently. “You see,” she went on “he wished by his coarsness to shatter her idol. This may arouse your Unity”—here she frowned at her guardian—“but to me it reveals the profound insight of exalted genius. ” “Tome,” said Frederick decidedly, “that particular passage soundedlike the wildest bosh. ”

Lucy flushed a vivid scarlet, and her eyes shone with an ominous light. “Bosh,” she*repeated; “what irreverence. Still you know the author of ‘Pie Biters’ is worthy of universal love. I worship him myself!” “What!” gasped Absalom. “What!” repeated his nephew. . “Yes,” cried Lucy, quite miterrifiod, “and I’d marry him to-morrow if he'd ask me. No life could be sweeter than one consecrated to him and Iris noble works.’’ “Probably he’s got a wife, or two already,” said her guardian. “That’s the way with these geniuses.” “No, ” said Frederick, ‘ ‘lie’s unmarried. I know him.” “You know him?” almost screamed Lncy. “Why didn’t vou tell me before?” “Because it was a matter of confidence. I have, however, told him of your great admiration for him and his story, and he has expressed a desire to meet you—provided, of course, that you will respect his secret” : .- —'—-— “It shall be sacred,” murmured Lucy. “He's safe, then,” chuckled Mr Perkins. “Lid you ever hear of a woman that couldn’t keep a secret?” “Then it’s decided. Next Saturday I will bring him here. ” “Here,” cried Lttey, with clasped hands and ecstatic expression, “here! The spot trill be famous forever. Guardy, I must have a new dress for the occasion. ” She looked at Frederick and fancied that he seemed pained at her enthusiasm. i j “Thank you Frederick,” she softly said. “You havo given me much pleasure.” i She iaeae from the table and turned to leave the room. As she reached the door the old man called after her: ' You still thinkyou’d marry him?” Lucy turned defiantly. “Yes,” she answered, “if he should ask me. ” Then the door closed behind her. The two lpoked at each other across the table and smiled. * The appointed Saturday dawned bright and clear, but Lucy’s spirits were not in harmony with it. She was gfrvous and absent minded, and little inclined to enjoy her usual daily occupations. She feverishly worked' a few Kensington stitches m a table cover only to savagely rip them out again. Then she brought out her colors and tried to paint, but 2 nit in disgust when she discovered that ke had adorned the face of her Spanish lady with a brilliant carmine nose. Her efforts at the piano were equally u%. successful

Her guardian observed afif these evidences of her agitation with intense enjoyment, and gave way to unseemly mirth on numerous occasions. As thfte hour appointed for the interview drew nigh Lucy’s nervousness increased ten fold, So anxious was she to appear at her best tbat her patient maid was almost driven wild with per At last all her exactions were satisfied. Never had. she appeared more beautiful;* and the ancient Absalom, who was keenly sensitive to female loveliness, embraced her with pride. For some time she sat drawing room in silent state. ( Then she heard Bteps upon the walk, a buzz of voices ip the hall, and the door opened. She waitod a moment, then slowly raised her eyes to see The author of “The Pie Bitters?” 'No. Only Frederick. She gave a little shrug—of disappointment or relief? Who can tell? “Ah,” she said, “it is you.” “Yes. And ns you see, alone. My friend failed to join me at the place of meeting. He has promised, however, that should he be unable to meet me at the appointed hour he would waive etiquette and follow me here. So you may expect him at any moment. ” “Ah,” sighed Lucy. This time there was no mistaking its nature. She felt relieved. Frederick observed her closely. “Come,” he said, “don’t look so disappointed I promise you he will be here.” He took a seat by her side. She seemed strangely changed. All her buoyant spirits appeared te have deserted her. After a few moments silence she slowly said: “I want to explain.” Her cheeks were flushed, and the slight tremor in her voice indicated more than a passing emotion. “I don’t want yoir to misjudge me, foi you have been my true friend so long. I am not the silly, reckless girl that my talk the other evening would lead you to think. It was all wrong, and lam very sorry for it, though I wouldn’t have said it, I’m sure, if you and Guardy hadn’t so exasperated me. You know what I mean—about the author of ‘The Pie Biters.’” She looked appealingly at Frederick, who gravely answered: “Yes, I understand.” “I am only an inexperienced girl, you know, and can’t heljj being foolish and enthusiastic some times. But you’ll overlook it. won’t you. Frederick?" “Overlook it,” cried that delighted young man.” “Yes, and forget it altogether. Your words, Lucy, give me courage, and beside this may be my last opportunity. Perhaps it is folly for me to place myself beside your ideal, but I have resolved to venture all. You know I have long loved you, but I doubt if you know the intensity to which this love has grown. We have always been the best of friends; but I want something mpre than friendship now. Your love, vmirself.” Lucy slowly turned her eyes to meet his burning gaze, and in them he read his title clear. Ten minutes afterward Frederick with a start of mock surprise inquired: “What will you say to the author of ‘The Pie Bitera’?” “Mercy!” cried Lucy, f‘l had forgotten all about him.” - At that moment Mr. Perkins discreetly offened the door and paused at the threshold. The hastily dissolving tableau he beheld filled him with amusement. “Ho, ho!” he chuckled, “so you’ve told her?” “Told me," cried Lucy, “told me what?” “Why, that lie, our Frederick, is the author of ‘The Pie Biters,’” “Is it "true?” she gasped, turning to her lover. “Yes,” he answered smilingly. “Then,” she cried hysterically, “I’ll keep my promise after all and marry the author of ‘The Pie Biters’.”

Worth a Licking.

Some years ago, in Georgia, that band of Christians known as Aseentionists were having a grand revival. One day when meeting was in full force a storm came Up, and a young gentleman who was out hunting with his servant took refuge in the church door. Being curious to see the service, the two hunters crept up into the gallery, and there hid in a place where they could observe without being observed. “Come, Lord, come; onr robes are ready. Come, Lord, come,” cried the preacher, while all present gave a loud “Amen.” “Marsa Gabe,” whispered Cuffy, lifting his hunting horn to' his mouth, “let me gib dOm jist one toot.” “Put that horn down, or I’ll break your head," replied the master, in a whisper. The horn dropped by Gussy’s side and again the minister cried: “Come, Lord, come; we are ready for Thy com■ing: —Come, Lord, comer” “Do, Marsa Gabe—do jist lemme gib ’em jist one little toot*” pleaded Gutsy, wetting bis lips and raising the horn, “If you don’t drop that horn, Cuffy, I’ll whip you within an inch of your life,” whispered the exasperated master. “Blow, Gabriel, blow; we are ready for His coming. Blow, Gabriel, blow,” pleaded the minister. Cnffv could no longer resist the temptatiqm, .and sent a wiki peal,ringing from end to end of the church; but long before its last echo died away his master and himself were the only occupants of the building. “I’s ready fur de licking, Marsa Gabe,” said Cuffy, showing every tooth in his head, “for I ’elare to gracious it’s worf two licking to see de way farm cattle kin git ober de ground wid skeared ’Scensionista behind dem.”— Editors’ Drawer, in Harper’s Magazine . T**~ 1 . 1 1 ' 1 1 ■ Watch Springs. The best watch springs are made in Geneva, Switzerland. These springs are very drircate, tmd some of thenrare so fine that 3,200 weigh an oinuje, and are worth from 75 cents to $2 apiece. Thus an ounce of metal originally not more than 3 or A cents, when made! into these fine hair springs, is worth from $2,000 to more than SB,OOO. The smallest pony in the world is the pet of the Baroness Burdett-Contts-Bartlett. He is five years of age and stands thirteen inches high.

AGRICULTURAL.

Regular feeding, evdn of ft somewhat scant ration, is better than an irregular supply of food. Animals which are starved at one time and overfed at another cannot be expected to thrive, although they may consume more food than, fed regularly, would serve to keep them in good condition. A farmer, who has tested five different varities of peas, according to the catalogue from which he made his selections last spring, now finds that there is not the slightest difference in any of them. In earliness, manner of growth, height of plant, length of pods, Humber of peas. in a pod—in fact, in every particular the alleged different varieties proved to be one and the same. The farmer thus victimized pertinently asks: “Have seedmen the right to give new and catching names to old varieties and to bewilder and mislead the public by offering the same article under five different names.” A correspondent of the lowa Homesiead criticises those who seek to restore the Morgan horse to favor. He says the farmer of this age has little use for a horse of 900 to 1,000 pounds, and that for light work in cities and on the road better general-purpose horses of 1,100 to 1,300 pounds, with , good speed, action, and spirit can be easily found. For heavy work on farm, road or street the Clydesdale, the Shire, or the Percheron, or their crosses, are far more suitable and more profitable. For such animals there is always a ready market at good prices, which is not the case with the horses of light weight. An Insect Exterminator. —Ms Cramoisy, a member of the Society of Horticulture, in France, declares that he has discovered a composition which is fatal to the much dreaded phylloxera. The diopovery was accidental, having first been successfully used for the destruction of vermin infesting apple trees. The constituents of the composition are as follows: Acid pyroligneux, or wood vinegar, gram.. l,ooo Salicylic add, gram. 2 Bed oxide of mercuiy, gram. 1 And fuschine, centigram 25 This compound was fatal to the male phylloxera, did no injury to the bark of the vine, and could also be used, diluted, to water roots and destroy the insects prying on them. Charles Goodnight, one of the cattle kings of Texas, thinks that “lumpjaw,” or “big jaw” in cattle is caused by decayed teeth. A few years ago he saw in his herd a young steer having a swollen jaw. The animal was promptly roped, his teeth examined, and one which showed decay was knocked out. In a day or two the animal recovered. Since that time his men have orders to watch for signs of “big jaw," and on its appearance to resume their dental operation. He has had no “big jaw” in his herd since adopting this plan, of which those scientific gentlemen who pry into the secrets of Nature and big jaw with microscopes and great curiosity should make note,. While those who write for the especial benefit of the horny-handed sons of toil are advising their readers to plant black walnut and other American trees they patriotically perhaps keep silence regarding the great merits of some foreign sorts, as, for instance, the Eucalyptus, which grows in the large tracts near the head-waters of the Walts River, in Australia, where ihese trees average 250 feet in bight, mostly straight as an arrow and with very few branches. Many fallen trees measure 350 feet in length. One measured 435 feet from its roots to the place where the trunk had been broken by its fall, and there its diameter was three feet. Five feet from the ground the trunk was eighteen feet in diameter. A few hundred of such trees in the door-yard of a prairie farmer would make a quite noticeable feature. A farmer who had a few thousand of these good-sized trees might start a small saw-mill of his own. By all means plant E. oblique or E. amygdalina and see them grow to a bight of 250 to 500 feet.- Chicago Tribune. —— —,-

A very suggestive article appeared in the Scientific American, relating to storing wind-power for small motors. It advises the use of windwills to compress air in suitable reservoirs, from which the power thus stored is to be drawn for use in propelling buggies, wagons, or boats, and for many other purposes where steam or horse-power is now used. Twd hundred atmospheres compression will give 3,000 pounds pressure. This is perfectly practicable and safe. At a pressure of 1,500 pounds one and one-half cubic feet will give one-horse power one hour, and one-horse power may be estimated as equal to that of six men. The writer i says: “Adrive of five hours is a long one, and, in fact, five hours’ use in the twenty-four is more than the average. The power which is employed though we use a horse for it, is commonly not more than half a ‘horse power.’ A reservoir containing eight cubic feet will run a light vehicle year in and year out. Such a box is a very small matter to suspend below the wagon, and need not weigh more than a 190 pounds, counting thus for resistance as one additional passenger. No complicated machinery is thus required; the sir-cheat is connected directly with a crank on the hind axle for the driving wheels, and the forward wheels are used in directing the coarse.” This is only one of the many uses fpr which compressed air may be used on the farm amd in every-day w ofk. Packixc- and Shipping Poultry.— Most Western poultry dealers ship their poultry to Eastern markets in barrels on account of this being the most convenient way for handling. Eastern marketmen, however, prefer choice fowls, whether chickens or turkeys, in boxes, as they admit of keeping the fowls in better shape. Nice new and clean packages more than repay the excess of their cost over that of dirty second-hand boxes or barrels, by their attractive appearance and the more ready sale, under any and all conditions of the market, at good prices. In a crowded market and among many offerings, first impressions often do much to secure a customer, when otherwise the poultry might go begging. On this subject the American Cultivator, after ■taring substantially what has been

r ■ \ 1 ' ■ .V- n. given above, says: “One of the greats eat mistakes committed by the average shipper of poultry is the use of packing material, as straw, hay, or paper. No such material is needed if the fowls are properly bled, cleaned, and cooled off Paper gathers dampness and injures the biids so packed. As an illustration; we h&ve seen turkeys packed in a freezer and as a matter of experiment covered with paper. In twefity-four hours the birds so packed had commenced to mold. If turkeys be killed at night daring seasonable fall and winter weather, they will be sufficiently cooled for packing by the following morning.

HOUSEKEEPERS’ HELPS.

Potato Cakes.— Take mashed potatoes, add a beaten egg and enough flour to roll; mix well with the potatoes; make into cakes with your hands; fry brown in hot lard. Sugar Barley Pudding. — Eight ounces of bread crumbs, six ounces of suet, six ounces of powdered sugar, the rind of one and the juice of two lemons; mix together with one or two eggs; put in a fluted basin or mold and boil one and a half hours. Potato Pancakes.— Pare and grate six large potatoes. Chop fine one small onion and mix with the potatoes; add two beaten eggs, a pinch of salt, one pint of milk, flour enough to make a batter, and one and one-half teaspoonfuls of baking powder. Breakfast Biscuits.- -To one quart of flour add two teaspoons oi baking powder, one teaspoon of salt, one heaping tablespoonful of lard; mix with milk warm water or sweet milk; knead as little as possible and have the dough as soft as you can handle. Cheese Puddings. —Take a dish about three inches deep, first put a layer ol bread crumbs.then a thin layer of grated cheese, a little pepper and salt, until your dish is full, then pour in a cup of milk, lay bits of butter on the top and bake half an hour. Stewed Rarutt. —Cut the rabbit into small pieces; wash with salt and water; put it into a gallon crock with a quarter of a pound of salt pork, two large onions pierced with cloves. Simmerslowly for three hours, then add one teacupful of bread crumbs and salt and pepper to taste. Oat Meal. —Soak a teacupful of oat meal over night; next morning add one pint of boiling water; have it in a tin cup or bucket and set in a kettle of hot water; boil half an hour, then add salt and a half cupful of sweet milk. To be eaten with sweet milk, or with butter and sugar. Sirloin of Beef. —Make a batter in the proportion of four tablespoonfnls of flour to one pint of milk and two eggs ; butter a deep dish, pour in the batter, which must be very smooth, then take the inside of the sirloin of beef or any tender part, Cut in inch square pieces; bake one hour in a moderately hot ovem. Pork Hash. —Take any cold, clean bits of pork you may have left oyer, chop fine, add some bits of fat, put in a skillet; chop an onion fine, add salt and pepper and a little hot water; boil till the onion is cooked; then take twothirds of a teacup of sweet milk and dissolve a tablespoonful of flour iu it and add to the hash. Let it boil up good, and serve. A Veal Stew. —Take three or four pounds breast of veal, cut it up into pieces two inches long, and put them into a saucepan with a couple of carrots, an onion and a head of celery cut into small pieces; add parselv, thyme, bay leaves, clover, pepper and salt to taste, and sufficient stock or water to cover the meat. Simmer about an hour, or until quite tender. Take out the pieces of veal and strain the gravv through a colander. Melt in a saucepan one ounce butter, and add one ounce flour ; mix well, and put in as much liquor from the veal, well freed from fat. as will make sufficient sauce; let it get quite hot, then stir in off the fire, the yolks of two eggs, beaten up with a little lemon-juice and strained. Put in the pieces of veal; when quite hot add a little chopped parselv and serve.

The Best Microscopes in the World.

S. Lockwood, naturalist, says: In the manufacture of Microscopes the United States are easily superior. For lenses Wales, Spencer, and Tolies have a world-wide reputation. The stand now in use everywhere is manufactured in Philadelphia. The optical lenses are the latest improvement made in the instrument. They were invented by Abbe. The latest important discovery in microscopy is the Bacilus tuberculosis by Koch. It has given rise to the •contagion theory of the disease of consumption now gaining ground among The posibilities of magnifying are not limited merely by the skill of the 1 lensmaker, but by the nature of light. I can conceive an organism so small that even light cannot give its image. Or if an object be an organism its parts will not deflect or reflect the waves of light. Moeller’s rulings on glass have been separated at 1-32000 of an inch. There is increasing interest in the work of the microscope. The New York society has a large and en thusiastic membership.

How He had Learned It.

Sunday-school Teacher—What has our lesson to-day taught us ? Little Boy—Than we must shun evil. Teacher —But we are told that money is the root of all evil. Now, what further does the lessen teach? Little Boy —That we must shun the evil and grab the toot.—Pittsburgh .» . The bright sppts of a man's life are few enough without blotting any out, and since for a moment of mirth we have an hour of sadness, it were a sorry policy to diminish the few raja that illuminate our cheokered existence. Life is an Aprk day—sunshine and showers. The heart, like the earth, would cease to yield good fruit were it not watered by the tears of sensibility, and the fruit would be worthless but for the sunshine of smiles. It seems funny to read of an antisecret society meeting in secret to devise ways and means to crush out secret societies. It looks contradictory to say the least.

PITH AND POINT.

After Claud married he wrote it, “Clawed.” Helen of Troy was the. first woman who wanted to go to Paris and leave her husband at home! ■ A harried woman says that heFhusband used to rave over her before marriage. Now he only raves at her. “Light is gradually breaking—me,” remarked the man when he paid a gas bill twice as large as usual.— Merchant Traveler. Men of intellect stand by their ideas; dissipated men fall by their rye dears, and men with extravagant wives are ruined by their high dears. “I’d like to give yon a piece of my mind, Mrs. Smiggs.” “I wouldn’t talk of impossibilities, Mr. Smiggs. The article yon speak of is too small to be divided.” 1 A Newman youth sent a dollar to a New York firm and received a watch, the case of which was made of earthenware. He caUs it his “crocky-dial.”— Newman Independant. A reporter asked a Chinaman if he expected to marry. The wicked heathen made answer: “Me mallee? No, sir. Mallee ne funnee; blette funnee single man, alle same Melican man.” “No, my son, yon shouldn fc jump at conclusions. The prima donna doesn’t ride in a special car because y obody will ride in the same coach with her. It is because she prefers to ride that way—that’s all.” Up into the apple tree Gaily he bounds; For not a soul lain sight, As he continuouslv looked round. But ere he can pan ake Of the In-cions fruit. He hears a doggy growl. And sees a great big boot J Underneath unon the girmmf. —Carl Pretzel's Weekly. The late A. T. Stewart, some fifteen years ago, paid $50,000 for an oil painting by a foreign artist. There lias been a great reduction in the price of art since then. Last week a panorama nearly half a mile long was sold at public sale for $875. One was “high" art and the other w:i3 long art If there were any other differences they were not strikingly apparent, save in price. LIFE AND DEATH. Life is the flower which blows, Death is the withered leaf; Life is the grain as it grows. Death is the garnered sheaf; Life is the blazing fire. Death is the a-di grown cold; Li’eis the glittering spire. Death is the ruin old; Life is the whistling gale, Deathis the calm repose: Life’s the continued tale. Death is the story's c ose; Life is the flowing stream. Death ihe mys-terious deep; Li "e is -x wal kin g dream, Death is the long, last sleep —Texas Sis linos. ■ -

A Maine man broke off liis engagement to marry a girl alleging that “she couldn’t cook,” whereupon she declared that she “could cook herrings” and she added “yon know darned well them’s all you can afford to pay for.” If, as the young man asserts, she couldn’t cook, there may be good grounds for him to break the engagement, but if, as she declares, she may feel thankful that he backed out. It is about an even stand off, taking the words of the interested parties as a base on which to form judgment.—Peck’s Sun. A colored man was hanging around one of the opera-houses in a manner to show that he was deeply interested in what was going on inside, and a gentleman finally said to him: “Why don’t you go in ? Under the Civil-Rights bill you can lake a seat in the parquet-cir-cle.” “Yes, sail! I knows all’bout dat, sab!” was the reply. “Under CibilBiglils bill I ken take a seat in the house; but under the present strain in my finances I couldn’t buy two shingles if hull opera houses were sellin’ for ten cents apiece, sail.— -Xeio Yoi'k Independents ■ —r~ y. The superintendent of a certain railroad called up a conductor one day and said to him: “So, sir, I understand you passed a man over our line recently on your own authority. Is it true, sir?” “Yes, sir, it is." “Didn’t you know, sir, that you wore violating the regulations?” “Yes.” “Then, ‘sir, why did you do it, I should like to ask?” “Well. Captain, you see I got so dang lonesome riding back and forth every day all by myself, that I gave a friend of mine a pass just for company.” The conductor was looking for a job the next day.— Merchant Traveler.

Old Egyptian Customs.

“Ointment and perfume rejoices the heart** Ps. 23:5. ' Of sweet-scented ointments, all Egyptian ladies were, in centuries gone by, extremely fond. These luxuries, as well as rarest perfumes, were usually kept in an alabaster or porcelain vase, very chaste and elegant in design. So passing down through centuries, they have still retained their power of delighting, and even yet bear upon the air the “sweet scents” that characterized them ages ago. At grand gatherings, annointing was one of the early attentions to guests, after which, a lotos-flower was presented to each persoii present, and then were brought necklaces of flew era, and garlands for the head, so deftly placed that a lotos-flower or bud could droop over the forehead. Supplementing the flower-service, wine was offered in cups of silver or porcelain or perhaps of glass.

The Wolf and the Hare.

A Wolf one day stopped a Hare in the public path and said : “Come, now, I want a candid expression of opinion. Am I not a better looking animal than the Fox?” “To be honest abont it, you are pot,” replied the Hare. “Ah! then you insult me! Take that —and that—and that.” The poor Hare was knocked down and rolled over and cuffed about, and* her life waa saved only by her superior" fleetness. Moral -It is better to agree with a Wolf near at hand than to praise a Fox five miles away. —Detroit Free Press. Do all that yon can to stand, and then fear lest yon fall, and by the. grace of God yon are safe. —Edu ards. v -*'■ ' it