Rensselaer Republican, Volume 16, Number 34, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 1 May 1884 — Page 2

.KA«PK..MMCTJ:JtT. .. U BBBBCCA BUTBB BPBXXOBIk ("Note— The pr'ndpal lacta. as herein narrated, occurred during the summer of 18ttl, when tbs railroad bridge orer the Des Moines River, lowa, was swept away by the heavy floods.] Two sat tore' her, a mother and child, In the! home bv the river side. In bait ilightened whispers the time they beguiled. For fle-ce w.s the tempest, ths night dark and wild, j j Bad madly went rolling the tide. Madly went rolling the tide unde-nea'h The bridge where the night train must pass. Tim two stopped to listen, with Quivering br+ath. Far ths wnves seemed to tetl tliem of wreck and of death. Of wrack sad of death—slat! Ths night freight approached, and came thundering on. I*s wild mar outriding the blast. A crash —and a plungel It hi* made Its last ‘ . • For death and destruction their swift work had done— And the mad waves went hurrying past. The young girls of fifteen, upnpringtng, quick Nldf **oh, mo her. tho train has jrone down! 4nd with tarembiiug hands, and a face like the dgarl. - - ". i~l--She reached for the lantern that hung .overAnflsaffl, “They must know It In town!. "The passenger train, night express, Is soon due; What a terrible thing It would be Should it come on unwarned, and go crashing down, too! . . _ . I must go to the bridge and see what I can do. Do not worry, dear mother, for me. Ont into the night, and the storm in its wrath, Went the child on her perilous way. The lightning flashed fiercely across her lone path* The wind shrieked its terrible threatenings of death; . Bat nothing her footsteps could Btay. Her lantern went out; hut undaunted, and brave. She still presses on thro' tho gloom; She knows while these lives she Is trying to save - ftotn the terrible flood, from a watery grave, Her mother prays for her at home. Bhoreaches the bridge; broken rails open ties, Bnd the dark river serglng beneath 1 She heo”° through the tempest, the engineer s cries As he calls for relief—and her prayers swiftly rise That yet she may save him from death. The river is angry, the river is wide. Bod te cross it but few would dire; But she feels she must cross to the other side, In spite of the storm and the turbulent tide, For the telegraph station is there. On her hands and her knees o’er the broken rails Creeps this child with a hero s heart. Her flesh is torn by the splinters and nail?, Bnd at times her courage almost fails, The ties are so far apart. At last—at last she has reached the shore, • And quick to the station flies! Her story is told, the peril Is o'er, Bnd fainting and helpless she sinks to the floor, While tears dim many eyes. Throngh the darkness of the midnight, through the driving rain, Throngh the leariul lightning flashes came the rushing train! Scores of loving hearts it carried—scores of precious lives; Parents with their little children, husband* with their wives; Helpless child en, sturdy manhood, youth, and ugo were there: Some elate wl h Joy and gladness, some bowed dnwnwpluae. Some unto their homes were speeding, seme away were borne; But for each were prayers arising for their safe return By some loving distant watcher. Ah, could they but know What was tying just before them! II i(t they onward go i .■ ■ ■ To the bridge-the maddened river? was the child too late. After all her toil and peril, to avert their fate? Ha!—a red light swinging quickly—danger signal! Seel Tes, the wires have borne iheir message swiftly, fai hfally. To the nearest point of warning; and they learn how brave ... Was the child whose courage saved them from a watery grave. Women wept and strong men shuddered as ths tale thev heird. How this fragile girl to save them had this peril dared. How—sca ce knowing how exalted was the deed she'd done— Deathless love and fadeless laurels she that night had wont For no name in song or story E’er was wrestheJ in brighter glory Than this child’s, whose deed sublime Shall be told through coming lime.

THE WEATHERBY “WAVE.”

Ting-a-ling-a-ling, rang the door bell at Captain Weatherfey’s. The captain and his wife were sitting in front of the cool fire in the back parlor, waiting until it should be safe to leave, and seeing many queer things in the glowing asnes. The “help”—they do not keep servants—had gone to bed, and the house was shut up for the night. No one was expected and it was too late for callers, so there was a mutual start of alarm on the part of the pair when the front door bell rang in that suddefi Tim Tin-a-ling-a-ling-aliug-aling-ling! It was really quite hostly; Mrs. Weatherby said. “Mercy me, who is there, do you suppose?” and the captain replied: “Like os not it’s a tellygram.” Then he went to the door. The wire of that indignant bell was still vibrating and the tongue itself had just stopped wagging and yet when the captain opened the door not a soul was visible. The soft, light flakes of the last snow of the season drifted into his face, and fell cold and wet on his cheeks. Mrs. Weatherby was close behind him, and exclaimed: “Mercy me! It was nobody!”

“Not even the cat,” said her husband. “Old Prim can do a sight of mischief, but she can’t ring door bell’s. It was some pesky boy, Xsuppose, who thought he’d play smart and then run for it.” “What's that on the door step?” asked Mis. Weatherby suddenly. “It’s a drift,” said the captain. “I tell you what, Mary, there’ll be a nor’ easter to-night, nor 1 east by nor’ with a wind that’ll make the sails rattle. It’s gettiii’ up now, ’-’ and he-drew- in- - his-tateevered-hand, and was about to shut the hall door. “There is something there Silas,” said hjs wife, “right on the top step. Looks like a bundle.’ - The captain j>eered out again. “It’s right you are, my hearty. Sure as _ you live it’s a basket,” and he touched it ' With his foot “Ob, it’s the groceries for to-morrow; that careless boy forgot them. No wonder be ran away when he rang the bell! Fetch ’em in, Silas, and leave them in the back parlor to-night Hannah will see thim first thing in the morning!” “Better take them into the caboose —I mean the kitchen,” said the captain. 1. — —: t “No; it’s locked up. Put ’em on that choir by the door. Ugh! I’m shiverin’ ’ with the odd air," and the good woman sat down in front of the comfortable coals ■gain. ■ '

—‘‘We’ve a heap to be thankful for, Mary,” said the captain thoughfully; “Y-e-s, I s’poae so,” sighed his wife; she was thinking just then of two little graves at Marblehead. Tl\ey had been made nigh on to twenty years ago, and the vacancy in her heart and life never been rilled. At that moment a queer little wailing cry rang through the room. The two started and looked at each other; “SakeS alive! What was it?” asked Mrs. Weatherby. , „ “Iteame out of that basket,” said the captain; "that fool,of a boy has stowed a hand in the fo’castle—l mean a kitten,” and he stalked,oVer to it and jerked off the cover. J) “By the great horn spoon!” he exclaimed as lie jumped back about four feet; "it’s a baby.” "Mercy me,’* said his wife; "where did it come from?” "From the skies, I should say, tliats what the bell rang for. Weil, I must say this is an imposition," Mrs. Weatherby was looking curiously into the basket ; all she saw was rags, two bright, smilling eyes, and a little round head covered with dark hair—a wee bit babv, desertev and alone.

"I’ll go for the police,” said the captain, angrilv; “shiver my timbers if I’m going to iiaVe people starving their babies on my door step when there’s places provided for them as are destitute. The police will make short work of it; Mary.” “They won’t kill it, will they?!’ asked Mrs. Weatherby in a horrid tone. — --7—----- ■■ - “Well, no, wife; that’s against the law. But they’ll take it where such waves (he meant waifs) belong. If you ain’t afraid to stay alone I’ll rim oat to the next corner and fetch one. When the captain returned with the policeman he had to stop and explain the exact spot where they found the basket, how the bell had rung, etc., and so it was a half hom 1 or more before they got into the back parlor. There Mrs. Weatherby sat with the object rolled up in a table doth, lying in her lap and basking contentedly in the rays of the fire. “Here we are,’’"said the captain in a brisk tone. "Now Mr. Policeman, you can take the youngster off in the basket it came in, can’t you?” “It’s a nice boy,” said the policeman, looking down on the tiny head basking in the tire light. “Girl,” corrected Mrs. Weatherly. "I tell yon wliat, Silas, I think I had better keep the baby till morning. It don’t seem exactly Christian to let it go out in the cold to-night again.” “That’ll suit me,” said the policeman. "It’s a good bit from here to the Fondlin’s, and it do seem at home, sir.” “Very foolish, very foolish, Mary; but have your own way; only don’t let me be bothered by its cryin’, that’s all,” said the captain as lie peeped over shyly, and stole a look at the “wave." The next morning at 10 o’clock the policeman was on hand for the baby, “Now, isn’t it too bad,” said M('s. Weatherby, “hot the fact is it ain’t ready,” and she slipped some money into the man’s hand for his trouble,

"I’m going to look over some things I’ve put away,” Haiti tlie poor little mother; "and give it some docent clothes to wear; Would it lie'too much trouble to ask you to come for it this evening?” “Certainly not, ma’am,” said the officer. As he went out Captain Weatherby looked up from his paper and winked at him The officer winked back and looked very knowingly at Mrs. Weatherby. Such a running and rummaging as there was in that house all that day! and by night, the baby had quite an extensive wardrobe ready; dressed out in the little tucked and embroidered baby gown that had been brought out and done up for it, from the stock that once had belonged to those other babies who no longer needed them, it looked like a very different baby from that in the basket, “It-ain’t such a bad looking wave, after all,” said the captain, bending his honest red face over it and holding out a rough and rugged forefinger, which the baby instantly grasped, and laughed and cooed over it. "Here’s the p’liceman, mum, for the baby,” said Hannah, rushing that functionary in. “Oh,” said Mrs. Weatherby, looking greatly disappointed, “I’m not . half ready yet!” A

“But ti’s only the baby, mum, they wants. One of (he fouudliugs died last night and this here one is to have its place,” said the man. “I can’t help it” said Mis. Woatlierby; “the child won’t go till it is ready. Its clothes air nbfW»faffifed up vet.’" “You see,” laughed the captain, ”my mate there will want a Saratogy trunk for that wave’s clothes before she gets through with it. Say, Mr. Policeman, just as soon as it’s ready I’ll send for you to come after it.” “Just so, sir,” answered the man; “just so, I’ll return to duty, and you can let me know when missis is ready.” There was an amused twinkle in the captain’s eye, when ho saw how je’ieved his wife looked as the man took liis departure.

All this happened a year ago. I was reminded of it by receiving the following card, which wus sent out generally by, good eaptaid and his wife: Where did you come from, baby dear? Out of i he everywceie, into the here. Where did you tret your eyes so blue? Out of the skies a-< I catne throu li. What makes your loreUead smooth and high? A soft ha 11 cl S' roked it, as 1 went by. What malt s y our cheek 1 ke a warm, white rose? I saw som-thing better than anyone knows. Whence that three-cornered smile of bliss? Three angels gave m - at once a k ss. i Where 4* l yon get that coral ear? —»• Where d <1 yon ge* those at ms and hands? Love made itself into bonds and bands. Whence came yonr feet, dear little things? From the Same box a* the cherubs* wings. How did they all first come to be yon? God thought about me and so 1 grew. But how did you come to us. yon dear? * God thought about you, and so lam here. * •••%••• : YoUr presenoe is desired at the christening : _i party of onr adopted daughter. : ETHEL, i Wednesday afternoon, January 30, 1881. : Ce cmony at a, MB. AND BIBS. SILAS WKATHKBBX. I. If any one expected a fashionable gathering it was simply because they did not know their host and hostess very well. The great, comfortable house, was full of guests, but they were mostly people of the Weatherby stamp; good, plain, sensible souls who did not go through life junketing and dancing, so they carried into any occasion <S>f enjoyment in 1 which they participated on almost, childish zest.' And ail the ladies purred over

that blessed baby, and all the gentlemen button holed the captain and made him tell the story over. "Found it on the door step, you say; f-o-ti-n-d it on the door step? How very remarkable!” - Arid in that very boat basket, I mean—grounded as it were at my feet—the pretest wave that ever struck the shoals for me—my eyes, sir!” It was hard to recognize the baby in its pink slip arid coral ornaments, but harder to recognize the basket, for it was one moss of flowers and, tied with rose pink ribbons, looked as gay aa a peacock. There was only one thing that came near marring the perfect enjoyment of the occasion. It was when the minister, a pale, slight intellectual looking young man stepped forward to begin die ceremony in which the “wave” was to have a Christian name, and Captain Weatherby called out; “Ship ahoy!” The good man stopped and looked perplexed. —“Stow the prayer, parson,” said the captain; “short services nn this ship, if you please. ” The minister smiled arid the ceremony proceeded, and all the prayers and remarks of the occasion were condensed by the celebrant into a single quotation. “When my father and mother forsake me then the Lord will take me up.”

An Oyster Party.

Wilson’s wife had given him a commission to executei, and, although lie Was not the purchasing member of the firm, she thought she could trust him to get her some oysters for Sunday dinner. “Now, dear,” she said, “you must, you must withdraw your mind from those stnpid philosophical studies and don’t let the oyster man get ahead of you, for he’ll do it if he sees the chance. Now, mind, I want three pints of bulk oysters.” ” “How d’ye sell the oysters ?” said Wilson to the Teutonic fossil who was head clerk and proprietor of the oystershop. “Vordy cends by a kwart,” replied the fossil. “Gimme three pints, then.” The oysters were duly damped into his tin pail and a silver dollar handed over the counter in return. After considerable mental figuring 40 cents were handed back in change. Another men* tal calculation, this time on Wilson’s part. j “How’s this,” he exclaimed, “I wantj 30 cents more.” “Ye-es, I pelief dots so,” said the German, scratching his head in a puzzled wav. “No; liolt on. You got dree bints, ain’t it ?” “Yes.” “Veil, dot’s 40 cents py a kwart, und dree bints is den 00 cents; ain’t dot so?” “Why, no, of course not,” said Wilson. “There’s four pints 6 in a quart, ain’t there? So three pints would only be 30 cents.” “Mine friend, you eand blay dot game on me. Yea I wend on der schale der vos only dvo binds in a kwart,” “Why, you old fool,” retorts Wilson, “I can prove it b / anybody. Here Brown, come in here a minute. How many pints are there in a quart?” “Eight!” exclaimed Brown, readily, “Vot’s de metter mit you?” asked the vender. “Oh, Mr. Shonson, chust come auf de sthore vouce und dell de elientlemens liow many bints vos in a kwart.” “There’s six,” exclaimed Johnson, “either six or four. I don’t just remember which.” “Gott grasbioiis!’’ exclaimed the exasperated fish-monger. “You dinks I vos a geese. I glean de whole sthore mit you oud.” During the racket which followed, a policeman entered, arid upon being told that the oyster-man was trying to sell three pints of oysters for a quart and a half, lie remarked that the new Superintendent was down on all these cheatin’ hucksters, and so marched the German off to the calaboose, and Wilson went home triumphantly and told his wife about the man who had tried to sell oysters two pints to the quart,— Indianapolis Scissors.

The Child’s Point of View.

To correct children for trifling offenses continually, at home or in school, has a bad effect. It is confusing kq.llie child, aud- do.es not tend to develop or to cultivate the moral sense. It tends to make distinctions between right and wrong which do not exist, and for this very reason weakens real ones. It is surprising to see how early children begin to look into the hidden things of metaphysics. <r Ls it really wrong, mamma,’’ a little boy said the other day, “or only against the law ?” The astonished mother questioned the child, found that some one had told him stories of the fugitive slaves, and of the laws of their time, and he .had, with the passion for generalizing which mfany children have, applied his knowledge to the circumstances and events occurring around him. To be perfectly honest with children, and at the same time to cultivate a power to pass by their small transgressions, which are often committed without premeditation, is sometimes well for both mother and teacher. It is only necessary to think ourselves back to childhood to understand how different the child’s point of view is from that of the older person, “ and to drr “this - occasionaJ'y would be helpful to most parents - - New York Pont. ■

A Queer Parrot.

Parrots are queer creatures, and, Lke monkeys, sometimes seem like a very bnrlesque upon humanity. One South American bird had unfortunately learned on shipboard the habit of profane language. The mate, a little ashamed of the jpreature’s profanity, undertook a cure by dousing it with a bucket of water at each offense. Polly evidently imbibed the reproof, for during a gale, when a heavy sea broke over a hen-coop, and deluged hens and cocks pretty thoroughly, she marched up to the dripping fowls and screamed out, “Bern St centring again , hain't ye Editor's Drawer, in Harper’s Maga tine. Affected simplicity is refined imposture.—Boche/oncaitlL ,

AGRICULTURAL.

Plums thrive best on soil which is rich and naturally moist, but which has also been well drained. A Nsw York dairyman says that at 84 cents per quart milk is more profitable than butter at 28 cents a pound. It oosts, as estimated, S4OO per acre to transform a swamp into a cranberry meadow; the profits of the business, however, justify even this heavy expense in getting the land into bear.-, ing condition. 1 Different opinions are expressed by fruit-growers as to the best time for cutting ont the old canes of raspberries after they have done bearing. Some prune out as soon as the crop is gathered; others wait till the leaves have fallen, while a third class do all the pruning early in the spring. Sweet potatoes raised in moist parts of the West the past season are of very poor qnality. The flesh is extremely soft and watery. The season doubtlessly kadmuch to do iri~iriffriericlng their quality. The best sweet potatoes are produced during hot and dry summers. The past one was moist and cool. To keep off mice and rabbits wash trees with a mixture of quicklime, sulphur and whale-oil soap. Make the mixture of the same consistency as whitewash for walls. A tablespoonful of sulphur is enough for twenty trees. If you object to a whitewash, add enough lampblack to color the mixture. A correspondent of the New York Tribune recommends a tub largest at the bottom and tapering at the top, of sufficient size to contain a year’s supply, as the best package in which to store pork; If packed property the meat will not rise in the tub, being held down by the slant of the side. It should be put doivn edgeways in laying as solid as possible., „ The different varieties of potatoes were discussed at a meeting of the Ohio Horticultural Society. Mr. Campbell had grown the mammoth pearl for two years, and found them healthy and handsome, but lacking in qnality. Co). Innis had raised/twenty acres of them and regarded them excellent. They sold freely in Columbus. Mr. Pinkham intended to discard mammoth pearl and raise only snowflake, which he found better and superior to early rose. G. H. Miller fouifd mammoth pearl a tine yielder, but not quite of the best quality. Mr. Iniiis had tried snowflake, but never got anything valuable from it. So the doctors disagreed, as to taste, treatment, soil, time of planting, etc. The Swiss qow is large bodied, but fine boned, of the style of a shorthorn; the horns are large, short, clear and tipped with black; tlie color is chestnut brown, mixed with white; the nose, tongue, hoofs and switch are black; a mealy-colored band surrounds the black nose; the udder and teats are large and well formed, and while they differ to a great extent from our common notions about the right form which a cpw should have, yet they are excellent and profitable cows, yielding twenty or twenty-five quarts daily, and the milk is rich in butter of an excellent quality. The skin is yellow, soft, elastic and covered with soft silky hair; they carry remarkable escutcheons and are extremely even in appearance, showing careful and good breeding, for a considerable length of tirndi^*. Seed Corn. —The Germantown Telegraph says It is nut sufficient that seed will merely grow. There are degrees of vitality. Some will grow when the conditions are all favorable, but perish or have a sickly growth if vicissitudes occur*, Seed corn should be so fall of vitality that cold or wet will not prove fatal. A good practice for largo corn raisers is to plant a small piece with the very best type of seed and under

the very best conditions of ground, preparation, and culture. From this select seed for the main crop, and again select from this the approved type and the best for the next year’s patch for seed. This practice continued may be expected to secure a uniform type of corn and more constitutional vigor. The great American crop is worthy of our most careful study, in order to achieve the best possible results. Hints on Poultry Raising. —Mr. A. M; Halstead, an Eastern poultry raiser and the author of a recent work on artificial incubation, gives the follow in g s uggestioii®-<9S’-tite«'iocai£?ab.olsa« yard and the construction and tho arrangement of the buildings: -la the first place, the site of the yard should be a dry situation, with a southern or southeastern slope.' If on the bank of a lake or pond, well; but a small running stream is preferable. A reugh piece of land, with some underbrush or rocks, is not objectionable, unless the rocks are broken or piled up, so as to make a harbor for rats or weasles. Some underbrush is desirable for shade. Currant bushes make good shade, and their fruit is good for the fowls. . In the buildings to shelter the fowls it is better to have a number of small houses rather than one of large zize for the breeding stock. A convenient as well as an economical wav is to build each house double, that is to shelter two yards of fowls, lettiDg the dividing fence join the house in the center. Houses twelve feet long by six feet wide will moke two apartments, each large enough to accommodate fifty hens and four cocks, which are many as should be kepT togetlier. Ventilation must not be overlooked, and in hot weather should be ample. The yard for this number of fowls should not be less than one-eighth of an acre, twothirds of whieh should be in grass; the remainder should be in bare earth and should be plowed or spaded in alter nate portions every week. A small she*!, not necessarily oyer three feet high should be constructed, and under this prepare the dusting ground on fine sand, wood ashes and a little tobacoo dust In another part of the yard place a trough or shallow box, in which keep a supply of fine grovel. Incase however, the soil of tho yard is gravelly this is not necessary. In fencing the yards the height of fences will have to be regulated by the breed of fowls kept The Asiatic fowls will stay in side of almost any sort of mclosure while tho Leghorns and other lightbodied fowls will readily fly over a

fence six feet Light. In addition te the building for the breeding stock, there will be required a setting or hatching room, a nursery for the young chicks, which shqnld be partially covered with glass, and a second building into which they can be removed when five or six weeks old. The size of these buildings is of course to be governed by the extent of the business.

HOUSEKEEPERS’ HELPS.

Oyster Plant Stewed.—Scrape and throw ajb once into cold water with a little vinegar to it to keep them from turning black. Out in small pieces, or boil whole for an hour. Mash fine and season ;,or drain tho pieces dry, and serve witji drawn butter, Brandt Sauce. —Two tablespoonfols of flour, and two of butter, mix to a smooth paste, add boiling water by de-J grees until perfectly light and smooth, flavor with nutmeg, the juice of a lemon; and a wineglassful of wine or brandy sweeten to taste .with whlie or brown sugar. It should be of the consistency of starch. Apple Tapioca Pudding. —Put soaking over night one teacupful of pearl tapioca. In the morning add a quart of sliced apples, one teacup su|Jar, a little salt and cinnamon or nutmeg, and water enough to cover the apple. Bake, slowly two and one-half hours, stirring, it occasionally. Serve with sugar and cream, or witL either alone. Parsnip Fritters, —Wash and scrape; three large parsnips clean; cut length-: wise in halves, and boil an hour, or two,' if very old. Mash fine; add two well-', beaten eggs, half-a-teaspoonful of salt,', a salt-spoonful of pepper, two, tablespoonfuls of milk, and one heaping, one of flour. Drop in spoonfuls, and; fry brown in hot fat or butter, Oyster-i plant fritters are made in the same way.i Baked Macaroni. —Wash tho maca-l rpni and put it in a sauce-pan, with suf-; Accent water to cover it; boil a half-; hour; put alternately in a pudding-dish a layer of boiled macaroni and grated cheese; seasoning each layer of macaroni with salt and pepper; have the top layer of cheese with a tablespoon-, ful of butter in the center; pour over it half-n-pint of sweet milk; bake a half-, liouY. A Nice Pudding. —A cheap and easily prepared dessert may be made on any bread-making day with breaddough. Into one pint of dough work one-fourth cup of batter, three-fourths cup of sugar, one teaspoonful of cloves and cinnamon each: when well-mixed add three-fourths cup of raisins. Put it into a well-buttered dish and let rise like bread, then steam it two hours. Serve hot with maple syrup or sauce. Milk Soup. —Four potatoes; two onions; four pints boiling water; one pint of miik; two ounces of butter; two large tablespoonfuls sago or crushed tapioca'. If sago is used, soak one hour in a little' water. Mode: Put onions, potatoes,, butter, salt, and pepper into a stew-pot' with the water. Boil about one hour! or till soft enough to rub through a, [ sieve. Wash stew-pau and return tho: soup to the fire. Add the milk. When, boiiing, sprinkle in sago and boil fifteen 1 minutes or till sago is clear. Raised Muffins.— One cup of milk; one-fourtjfccake of compressed yeast dissolved in one-half cup of warm water, (or one-fourth cupful of home-made yeast), one tablespoonful melted butter; three cups of flour; one egg. Mode: Beat egg, add pinch of salt, butter and yeast to the milk. Stir gradually into the flour. Beat until the batter is light and smooth. Mix it up over night. In the morning, beat it up. Fill buttered muffin-pans two-thirds to the top with the butter, and let them stand in a warm place until the batter lias risen to the brim. Bake half-an hour.

Country Butter.

“Talk about creamery butter,” said a grocer on Woodward avenue, “give me the old-faslnonei-sweet-cream-home-made-clmrned butter in the country, like this,” and he laid a roll on the counter and proceeded to butter some crackers. “Eh! what’s that?” inquired a customer, “Country butter! Let me taste it.” Bo more eraokers were buttered, which lie ate greedily. “How much of that butter have you got?” he asked, wiping his chops with a smack of satisfaction. asp own family.; Col. bought some, and will be in after the rest. You see it isn’t ealiy to get June, clover-fed cream butter at this time of year. You couldn’t find a pound in any other store in town,” said the grocer very proudly. “Send me up the lot,” said the customer; “I don’t want any creamery butterine after eating that. Yon can’t fool me on gennine butter. I was brought up on a farm. I was. and know good butter when I see it.” And he paid for his goods and went out. "“Where did yon strike that butter?” asked a man who wa3 eating prunes and pickles near the stove. “Down at the factory where they .^alra—itlLjceplieJ-lhe,.. grocer calmly. And the beating of their own hearts was all the sound they heard.— Detroit Free Press.

The First Model of a Human Head.

The first person who became a model is said to have been a lover and" lived" in the ancient days of Greece. He was 1 about to travel add .Jeavrhis Sicyou, and after a repetition of vows of constancy on both, sides he fell asleep, and from the position of the lamp his profile was thrown strongly on the wall. The.maiden in passing through the room observed this, and, • taking up a piece of charcoal, sketched the outline of the shadow. The father, when he saw what had been done, thought itwell to preserve it in clay,and taking some of the material in which he worked, made the first model of a human head. • . ’

They Never Come Singly.

The father at the triplets,, the first born* snugly repodng in the cradle, and remarked to the nnrflfe: , “Are thev boys or girls?" "AU girls, the little dears. What treasures thev are!” “¥es, little’fortunes, as it were: little Mfcsfortunes." -lViiladelphia CaVL

PITH AND POINT.

» —t The mosquito’s auger is an appropriation bill. A miser is often surprised at close “quarters.” When does a tree feel contented? When it’s sappy. It is not right to make game of a man out of season. The reason why a worn an always adds a postscript to her letter is because she's bound to have the last word, if she has to write it herself. Said the Colorado man: “No; we never committee suicide by hanging in onr State. A man doesn’t want to be suspected of being lynched.” Two marriage certificates, confronting a man at the same time, are as demoralizing in their tendencies as a mortgage coming dne.— Carl PretzeVs Wkekl#* : A Texas man will go four or five miles to got a drink. A Vermont man won’t. He’ll just hang around the ginmill all the time, and never allow himself to get four or five miles from it. Only an. acre of leather, Laced wi h a turlong of twine, Shuffling over a crossing Bearing atigure divine. One after the other they'r,' lifted And 1 all with a horrible tlind— ’’The feet of a Syracuse damsel - .Splashing along through the mud. Utica Observer. ",. “ “la your wife acquainted with the dead languages?” asked the professor of a Newman man. “Maybe she is," was the reply, “but the language she Uses is entirely too warm to have been dead very long.— -Newman * Independent. with that old plow. Citizen—Beal old? Farmer—Y’es"; in fact it’s too old for any more use. Citizen—Sell it to the first minstrel show that comes along. They always use old things.—Breakfast Table. “So you’ve got a piano, Mrs. Biten,” said one lady to another. “Yes, we’ve ■had it for three months.” “How did you get it ?” “ Got it from aman downtown.” “Did you take it for debt, like we did?” “Oh, no; but Biten says it will be taken for debt, if he doesn’t pay the second installment pretty soon.”— Merchant Traveler. Beecher says four-fifths of the people in heaven will be women. That is all right enough. Nobody ought to kick about that. Four-fifths of the women are better than men, anyway,, and they ought to go to heaven. Bat! according to that story, what a stag party there is going to be standing around the fire in the other place.--Peck’s Sun. “Oh, the road is smooth pnough,” said the placid conductor to the complaining passenger. “There isn’t a smoother road-bed in the United States. It’s the cars that jolt. Company took the springs out last week, to oil them, and didn’t get them back in time for this trip.” And the complaining passenger grumbled no more, for he felt that he was in tlie presenoe of the Star Liar.— Hawkeye. From Pat in America to his sweetheart in Ireland: .“O, Bridget, dear. Be coming here, _• _ ■; : —-R cht to the arms of Pat; Don’t stay away Another day— Be alter minding that.” To which Bridget replies: "O, Pat, my lad— Noyr don't feel bad— I've married Harney Rue; And we've a biy. To give you joy. I’ve named the child for yon. ” THE BLOKE, TO HIS CHUMMY. “Hey, Jimmie! are y’ wld me? I’m on a lay to stag a fake, Plunk your boodle, it's a gruff. An’ l’ee sure to give yer rake.” “Yes, Jerry lad. I’m wid ye. Bet Jer life, troo tick an’tin: We'ste-a-ker blokees, we —j___ An’ onr lush bees always gin. “We’s been pals for many yeans, Jim, hinco der time we did a six: Dey nabbed us in der crib, Jim. D’beaks nailed us at our tricks. “We didn’t stay fur long, Jim, Its hard to hold di* crook; I knows ye’ll keep em to yerself, Der means by which we snook. “Dey on’y yanked ns once, Jim, S noe den we's both got fly. An' dey never more will sceop-'U’", • ’Cause we does tfags on dersly. “Each night, down to der boozinken, We’ll meet at nine, ol’ Jim, An’ no matter w’at de game may be Our lush will still he gin." Wm. M„ Jr., in The. Judge.

The Aspeets of the Body.

have not thought upon the subject to suppose that any connecting link can be found between such animals as worms, mollusks, Crustacea, spiders and insects, on the one hand, and fishes, ampliia, reptiles, birds snd mammals on the other. Yet it is a significant fact that if any one of the first series of animals be turned upon its back, the heart., nervous system, stomach, etc., stand in precisely the same relative poattioirto each other as they do intha latter series. The only thing that differs in position is the mouth, which in the first series opens out between the two nervous ganglia which form the brain, and is directed toward the side of the body on which the nervous axis is situated, and in the second series opens out beneath the brain, and on tha opposite Bide of the body to that occupied by the nervous axis. Prof. Owen believes that certain structures which are situated in the center of the brain use, are remains of the primitive course 6f the upper part of tho gullet, and show the vertebrate developed from the invertebrate. Pittsburgh Disyatch. h-

Plain English.

An old minister in Ohio seemed rather opposed to an educated ministry. Said he: “Why. my ‘brethering,’ every - young man- who is going to preacli thinks he must be off to some college to study a lot of Greek and Latin. All nonsense! All I wrong. What did Peter and Paul know about Greek?. Why, not one word, my •brethering.’ No, __ Peter and Panl preached in tho plain, old English, and so’il L n —Cleveland Ptainitmler. It requires a good deal of effort to love a poor man and many him, but it is easy enough to love a rich man. If yon have a chance you will be glad to show how simple a thing il is.