Rensselaer Republican, Volume 16, Number 33, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 24 April 1884 — PITH AND POINT. [ARTICLE]

PITH AND POINT.

! The cause of all taffy—lasses. Writing a wrong is the forger's work. 1 A fall soot—The contents of a stovepipe. Married life should be a sweet; harmonious song, and, like one of Mendelssohn’s, “without words.” The man who purchased a porous plaster in order to draw an influence, died of a cold contracted by coming in contact with a sight draft. The beggar who insists upon appealing to your generosity with his breath smelling of whisky, shows that he has some spirit in him after all.— Texas Siftings. Little Jenny belonged to a fashionable set. “Here, Jenny,” said her father, “here’s a new doll.” “Oh, father, that’s no good; take it away. They haven’t worn those things for a month.” A six-year-old Pine Creeker come rushing into the house the other day and declared that there were a lot of deer in the field back of the house. The family proceeded to investigate,, but no deer were to be found. “I. allow,” said his mother, “you did not see any deer; it' was your imagination that has horns and a tail that stands straight out behind.”— Williamsport Grit. The eoat-of-arms of Dakota shows, among other things, a white man and an Indian, looking up at this motto shining in the sky—“ Fear God and take your own part.” Ho, ho! In the division of labor, enjoyed by that motto, the Indian is supposed to be fearing God for the two, while the white man holds onto his own part with one hand and takes the Indian’s with the other. —Burdette. BUT COULD SHE FRY CLAMS? Her lips were ripened fruit, where bliss Might long to die upon a kiss, By feeling stung to perfectness. The languor of a passion past. Too perfect at its hight to last. The sweet and half-exhausted sense Of being almost too intense, Beneath whose exquisite excess Life fainting falls in weariness And drops to sad indifference. All this had made her wan cheeks thin And love’s lost parpose lived alone Up'n the proud projecting throne Of her compelling chin. THE EDITOR’S -ANSWER. "You are doubtless honest, madame, In your views on lady suffrage, But I do not think that any Sndh results as you have mentioned Would be followed by bestowing On the gentle sex the ballot. Audit by some stroke of fortune They were able to outvote us The next President would surely Be a man who was selected For the all-sutlici~nt reason That his surging brain created Bancs to supersede the Langtry, Or a nine teen-button kid glove With a candv-box attachment. “No, fair njalden. you are flying linthdr high for ducks t > found be When you ask a man to coldly Take the chan- es of inflftdiog. On a great and glo sous c untrv borne hig i-collared man for ruler. And to hove our foreign scrvice Wear tight pant® and ride bicycles. Woman is a thing ot beauty, Tn h‘ r sphete she takes the biscuit. Takes it. without opposition; But to have her wield the ballot Would d'spe! the fond illusions That we entertain about her. Homeward skip, O, Minnehaha, Spank the baby if it’s crying, Put away your sealskin jacket And prepa-e your husband's supper. Se«-k not other worlds to conquer. Put content yourself with thinking ; Ot your luck n having -onio one To get nn and hustle fur you." —Chicago Tribune.*

Something That’s Disagreeable. “Yon is looking berry poorly, Uncle Mose.” ■" “Dat’s a sac, I reckon, es I looks as poorly as I feels.” “You must hab taken sumfin what disagrees wid yer." “Ob course, I has done tuck sumfin seberal years ago what disagrees wid me. Oar's nobody knows dat bettern you do, Parson Wangdoodle Baxter, kase you gib me de berry ting what has been disagre in’ wid me, leastway you had your han’«in hit anyway.” “Me! Me gib yer sumfin what disagrees wid yer. ? Uncle Mose, I b’leeves you’s a-loosin’ what little brains yer had in de fu«t place. What de debbel did I gib yer dat disagrees wid yer, and makes yer look miser’ble ?" “My wife. Davs what you gub me. Didn’t you marry me to dat Matildy Snowball, what disagrees wid me forty times a day ebar since we were married? G’way, Wangdoodle, or I’ll disiemember you am de ’pointed ob de Lawd. and jam yer carkiss inter an ash barrel. G’way, I sav, dis heah disagreement am catcbin’, and I has got hit OH TexaS ' sfepk -nirtwi m rrr- - -