Rensselaer Republican, Volume 16, Number 30, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 3 April 1884 — A Milkman’s Idea. [ARTICLE]

A Milkman’s Idea.

A short, ruddy-faced, waggin gtongued man told me he was’returning from the West, where he had been traveling for pleasure and with a view to making mining investments. He was not at all backward in giving me the impression that lie was worth 1 money, and upon inquiry' I found he was just as free to tell the manner of its acquirement. “I have been in the milk business in an Eastern town for a_ good many years,” he said. “In fact, I am in the business in a number of towns, and have a pretty good thing of it. Of course, you are thinking right away that I put water in the cans, but you are mistaken. I never watered a milk-can in my life. There is an honester, surer, safer way than that to get rich in the milk business, and I’ll give you the secret, as 1 know you’re not in the biz. When I first started driving my own wagon, fourteen years ago, I quickly found that nothing, not even good milk and low prices, would bring customers like gossip. Yes, sir, gossip—some town scandal, family secret, bit of news, or something. Well, I used to take particular pains to have something of that kind every morning. If there had been any births or deaths during the night, accidents, fires, arrests of town folk, a new scandal, or anything, I had it on my tongue’s' end, and, while drawing the milk, would spit it out at a lively rate. You would be surprised to see how the mistresses on my route got to coming out after their own milk, instead of sending the hired girl. Why, they used to be on the wait for me, and take an extra pint half the time, just to keep me had more customers than! ranld-uecfe, - though I claimed better milk than anybody else, and sold it 1 cent higher. Then I branched out—hired other drivers, and bought a dairy of my own. Every one of my drivers has to be up to snuff in the gossip, though. When there isn’t anything else for ’em to tell, I invent little, short stories and sayings, not improper ones, but double—-what-do-ydu-eall-ems ?—double intenders, and thev eatch on big. The result is, I have a practical monopoly of the milk business in four good towns, and am making money hand over fist. If vou want to build up a trade in anything, you must study to please, you know’” and' the ruddy-cheeked man laughed and seemed to feel real good. Herald.