Rensselaer Republican, Volume 16, Number 30, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 3 April 1884 — PITH AND POINT. [ARTICLE]

PITH AND POINT.

The scientists assert that there w “starch in the blcol.” This accounts for th<' way some people are “stuck up. C'arl Pretzel’s Weekly. [ MY lady's evn- are bnprbt. Litre s'ars of Win'er’s night, stiine a, dark cloud nhdsr; she'd maki one's heart rejjl.-e. Had she not sneb a voice—- " ' It s .vundi l.ke distant thunden —Chicago Sun. A man can live in Chicago for from $1 to $1.50 A certain lowa editor, who visited th nt'pony edition of Sodom andi Gomorrah with the latter amount, only lasted one day.— Texas Siftings. V_yfo,rsAiD a man who applied for a pension, “I must aclinowledge that I was never in the army, but I dn.ee fell off' a post-and-rail fence and broke my lee; while watching a military company drill,—Middietown Trqnjscript, “Where had I best openn*.y course of lee tures?”askedayoufof ffTpropountier of Logic of aveterean in the profession. “I expect the deaf and dumb asylum would be the most appreciative place.” was the reply.— Newman Independent. The man who in 4 steady way His cou-se through lit; has threaded Is, in the language of the day, Extremely ‘'level-h-aded.'' In taking terms like this on trust One can’t be too p Tl icuiar, The ma-i whose head is level must Be off his perpendicular. —Somerville Journal. Things are not fairly and equitably divided in this sad and sin-stained world. Some men haven’t hair enough on their heads to make a baby’s eyebrow, while some butter looks like it was the boss of a wig factory.—Newman Independent. on de tariff?” “I doesn’t know, MrFranklin, es I stan’s on de t ariff at all or not. I kinder feel like de tariff was standin’ on me, fur I allurs notice dut when I goes to de grocery ter buy sumthin’ to eat, dey put de tariff on me jist as much as if I doan was no ministah.” = A lady writes to know what is the best way to preserve a piano. The best way to preserve the piano is to cut it in quarters, take out the core, and boil the pieces until they are about half done. Then make a syrup of sugar and »our it ovex-the pieces after which they can be put up in cans or jars. Bianos preserved this way will keep all winter. — Peck’s Sun. A nAKESIDE KUSING. — To an e litoi- -o hoary ~C'am n ayonth i>i: Autumn's glory, Bearing in his band a story That of love's sw< tt tale did tellSof’lv laid it. on the table ■Where the hand-made joke so able, . Crop reports and news f rom s.ahis All’in peacefulness did dwell. “I would like a situation, Rumi L inmwpi cs-:>t station; T’rotie 10 Fam -'k abbreviation Is my life’s reinorseltss tush. Fo-, from eight o'clock ti I s ven Lf-WLth' 1:11.hour f r. lunch at<yeven>—E eu denied he light of Heaven — -lh?x?s mark I wi>!i a brush. “I worlff fain attain poss’tion Among those whose sole ambition Is to better th? condition Ot our If erafv Ij,'e. When my gold ;u locks are whited. When Deat h’s touch my ii e has blighted Ami my soul above has kite I. _Let me haye Fame tor my wife.” “I have listened to you s ory,*’ Said th- editor so hoarv; ‘ And can see tlia' for the gio y Of a ' roud name you wi 1 woik. Rut i‘. seems to niconceding ! That your most extensive reading Un the high s Olympian speeding Surely 'll send you with a jerk— Tliar, when once you’ve re c 1 ed the summit Gr- bb-d misfortune, and o'eris-m ■ it, You w.ll softly murmur: “Bum it! 1 was happier as a clerk! ’’ “Forthe enp of fame is S >on the rosy che k grows sull iw, And the youth tb-t once was callow In a year becomes imfait. Sawdust tills each pret'y dollie, After pie comes melancholy, Grave tlie man erstwhile -o j I'.y—>Just because he's now 'blase,” Down the stairs the author g-eth, And I.ls 'ace deject! m showeth. Through the crowded street he jnoweth For hims’lf a path full wld“. Takes the brush ahd pot cerulean And with strength that is herculean JVarks the boxes: "Pints. St Julien— Glass, with care, keep up this side.*' Chicago Tribune.