Rensselaer Republican, Volume 16, Number 29, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 27 March 1884 — Very Strong Butter. [ARTICLE]

Very Strong Butter.

“This butter,” said Jimmyson at breakfast, “is something like Samson.” “Why ?” asked the landlady, innocently. “Because it has long hair,” answered triumphantly; “and,” ho added, smiling upon the landlady, “I presume that that is what makes it so strong.” “You mean, wicked, heartless man,” moaned the landlady, and mad as a hornet she angrily stamped her foot and sailed out of the room. “Do yon know,” said the new boarder from St. Louis, when she had gone, “that I think you did the butter great injustice? Why, when I was in the army fighting the Utes, the butter the Government furnished us had to be shaved before it could be put upon the table. Fact; and on Sunday the cook used to comb its hair. If it had not been for that -weekly combing and brushing of the butter there would have been nothing to remind ns poor soldiers of the peaceful sound of Sabbath bells, of the churches and the people in their Sunday-go-to-meetin’ clothes. So you see it did a great deal of good; but, oh, that butter was strong! Why we used to mix it with our whisky, give it as a tonic to the sick, and when we buttered our bullets they were ten times as fatal as before. ” —— r “What!” exclaimed Jimmyson. “Yes;” continued the man from St. Louis, “that butter had so much hair on its face that it could have voted unchallenged.” “Well, I don’t care,” said Jimmyson, “our boarding house butter is rank.” “Just as I was saying,” the other glibly ran on, “just as I was saying, but that Government butter used to march in the ranks like the rest of us, and- ik was so strong that it came out of a long campaign as fresh as a daisy. - Rank^sir. rank—it not only smelled to heaven, but it ranked among the Samsons.” “Say,” interrupted Jimmyson, “do yon think that it will rain?” And that put a stop to the dissertation upon butter of the man from St. Louis. — Denver Tribune.