Rensselaer Republican, Volume 16, Number 28, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 20 March 1884 — PITH AND POINT. [ARTICLE]

PITH AND POINT.

[From the Newman Independent] The short-tailed mule is the modern neigh-bob. Malice is the whip that drives anger to the devil. The fellow who was butted by a sheep had a “wether beaten” appearance. Avarice is the grim and famishing spectre that robs hunger of all but death. Religion is the bough upon which faith rests after a flight upon the wings of hope. The Marquis of Bute is worth $25,000,000. That’s a pretty good pile to be made by a man that hasn’t any more sense than to spell boot with a “u.” A fashion magazine has an article on “What Will the Coming Girl Wear ?” If she marries a country editor, she will probably wear a paper collar and a nupgry look. - One hundred and three thousand one hundred and nineteen head of sheep went to Chicago last month. This shows where newly-married people go on their wedding tours. A subscriber wants to know “What is the best thing for the itch?” We have always had our under-garinents lined with nutmeg-graters when afflicted with that malady. It is a great saving of the fingers. It requires four men and a barrel of cream-colored paint to keep Baruum’s “white” elephant from showing the color of sheet-iron. Barnum ought to have him nickel-plated so the color wouldn’t como off every time it rains. “Why can an old dog fight better than a young one?” asked Smith of Jones. “Because his teeth are longer ?" “No.” “Because his hide is tougher?” “Not right yet” “Because his back is stiffet?” “No; try again.” “Because he can get more of the young dog in his mouth than lie leaves outside to fight with?” “No; because he has the most curage.”

[From Texas Siftings.? “Over the garden wall”—the flying boot-jack. Life is aogame of chance and Death casts the die. A grocer who sells on credit is a trust-tea man. » The time to retire—when the old tire is n-orn out. The onion-eater will always be found in the front rank. The close Of winter—Flannel underwear and overcoats. The key te the political situation in niauy states —whis-key. A fawn-skin could never he sold cheap, because it is always a little deer. It is said that Ellen Terry has four husbands living. She must be a Terrybelle masher. The Hon. Wm. M. Evarts’ remarkably long sentences make him a great Mister-E. to many people. ’ Though the plumber may have the greatest antipathy to onions, he always likes to have piety of leaks. The French are a great and gifted people. They are cognizant of 365 different ways of cooking eggs, besides sucking them out baek of the barn. Ninon de Leuclos says. “What millions of time lovers waste?” This is not strange, as : that" is their business.' Voting lovers generally take time to raist. It is some gratification to know that, if we are compelled to die before certain mean people, we stand a chance of turning to dust which may blow into their eyes and vex them. JWethinks a question I have heard. Which sounds like this one: “When’s a Nose a iiretty climbinx flower?” When it has the enflnenza. Perehance yon think the answer to To fay the least a stunner, Unless you know the flower meant, Is called a "scarlet runner.' ’