Rensselaer Republican, Volume 16, Number 20, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 24 January 1884 — Dog Stories. [ARTICLE]

Dog Stories.

New York Morning Journal: “Yes,” said the dogist, with an air of conviction, “them dog stories is mostly true; people as laughs at ’em is showing their ignorance, that's all. “I’ll tell you about a half clever dog I kuowed in Chicago. You know there they has bridges what swings across the river. Now this dog had been accustomed to go from the owner’s house to the store every morning at 10 o’clock, allowing himself a quarter of an hour to do the journey of two miles. One morning he was a little late an’ got t’ the bridge just as it was agoing to turn. There wasn’t time enough to get over to the other side, an’ the dog thought the bridge turned quite around; so 1 not being edcticated he got fooled. You know,” said the fancier in explanation, “the bridge only half turns, so that the ends point one time east and another west. ” “Well, how did that fool the dog?” “Why, you see, the dog thought he would save some time, so he ran and sat down on the end pointing east, the way he wanted to go, and when the bridge turned he was on the west side of the river again.” “What did he do then?” . ■J’H& was’ sa-amazed- he did not know what to do, so he ran back home and started afresh.” “Did he land all right that time. ?” “0! yes, but when he got to the store he looked up at the clock, and finding himself half an hour late, sneaked under his master’s desk, and to punish himself didn’t eat nothing all day, besides being so hurt that he couldn’t wag his tail for shame.” “Well, now complete your illustrations by something about an educated dog.” “That’s easy and recent. There’s a man on Sixth avenue whose dog has gone for his paper every morning for years. The man always gave the dog a 3-cent piece to buy the paper, not going to church having no other use for ’em. When the price came down to 2 cents, danged if the dog didn’t threaten to tear the newsvender to pieces until he passed over the penny change.” “What did he do with the pennies—give them to his master?” “Not much; he keeps’em in a corner, and is going to buy a new silver-plated collar with ’em at Christmas. “Dogs has lots o’ sympathy, too. ■Why, I know a dog as ’nd, after hearing his master swear about taxes, eat up every tax-notice that Come into the house.”