Rensselaer Republican, Volume 16, Number 20, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 24 January 1884 — PITH AND POINT. [ARTICLE]

PITH AND POINT.

fFtoiA the Fort Wayne Hoarfer.l If you eat head cheese and ox tail •oup you will make both ends meat. When your tooth is a-king and you want Ito apply a sovereign remedy, pound (£) it. The anagram for the word “editors,” is “so tried.” We have learned this from actual experience. “Come, Colonel, set ’em up again!” urged a jolly crowd at a wet goods emporium the other evening. “No, gentlemen, I never re-treat,” was the reply- ’ „ “Some men, like pictures, are fitter for a corner than a full light,” said Seneca. Other men, like pictures, don’t show their good points until they’re properly hung. Lord Halifax once said that “if a man w ere to set out by calling everything by its right name he would be knocked down before he got to the corner of the street.” It is said that one pound of green tea boiled until its strength is concentrated into a gill of liquid contains poison enough to kill over 1,000 cats. Would to Caesar more tea could be used this way. “What’ll you drink?” asked a wellknown politician of a friend as they stood together in front of a Calhoun street bar. “Oh, I’ll take some O-D-V.” “What’s the other name for it ?” asked the aproned dispenser of liquid poisons. “Why eau de vie— the French for brandy, of course.” “Yes, we see,” said the politician, “a little learning is a dangerous thing.”

[From Peck’s San. J An Illinois man offers a shot-gun and a setter dog for any information leading to the whereabouts of his missing wife. A shot-gun and setter dog might be an inducement to give her up. .... Herr Lasker says the “brain power of the people” is the distinguishing feature of the United States. It is evident that Herr Lasker keeps posted on the rapid growing development of the slugging matches in .this country. A California editor thinks he has solved the Indian question. He recommends whisky, and calls attention to its usefulness in the fact that every time a lot of Indians get drunk one or more are sent up the golden stair with a cracked skull. Whisky is of some use after all. A hen's nest is announced among the late patents. If it can fool a hen so as to make her lay more than one real good fresh egg daily it is all right, and if it has an anti-setter it is better, and the inventor will not only reap a Iflg reward, but a monument will be erected to his memory by a grateful people. The young man who lives beyond his means; who spends twenty dollars a week when receiving but ten or fifteen dollars salary, has no reason to complain if the finger of suspicion is pointed at him. Neither should his „parentsLor.guardians be surprised if he is called upon to answer to a charge of embezzlement. An observing exchange remarks: “When a young man begins to raise down upon his face, it is no wonder that he acts like a goose,” Come to think; of it, it is about the time a young man’s face begins to look fuzzy that he begins to realize that what he don’t know w ould make a mighty small book. That down makes him think that his vest is plenty large enough to make his lather an overcoat. But it seems strange that when that same down gets a little stiffening in it, and begins, to be a real beard, that same young man begins to think that he didn’t know' quite all there is to know in the world, and as he grows older he realizes that all the fools in the world are not dead yet, and wonders why the fool-killer has delayed so long in paying him a visit, that ought to have been made w'hen he was from sixteen to twenty years of age.