Rensselaer Republican, Volume 16, Number 20, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 24 January 1884 — Page 7

Horn Todes.

Hop todes and horn todes is two kinds, cos the hop todes they hops, but the horn chap he lies on a rock in the warm and shets his eys up refel slo an sollem, much as to say, “Lyin on the stumk of my belly is good enoughpe athletticle xercise for a feller which aint a goin for to be a show.” But Billy he can turn a hanspring, and once there was aman wich cude wock on a rope. Jackßrily, wich is the wicked sail (swears and evry thing), he says one time he was a ship rweck on the cdast of Madgigasker an the ony frate saved was a horn tode. So Jack he said to the other sailers, “Now ship mates, we got to do something for a livin or els we have got to eat the second mate, wich shall it be ?” Then the second mate he spoke up and said, “A industrous caracter is the king of gettin rich,” So. Jack he sed a other time, “Very Wei, then, we wont idol a way our time a dining off of one a other but wil pitch in for to ern our bred by the swet of our broughs. We will make this horn tode a show and charge the natif niggers ten cents for to see him.” So they made a circus tent out of the mainsle and Jack he painted a signe wich was this way: THE WONDERFLLST SHOW WICH IS IN THE WORLD! Only 10 Cents for to Get In. ! 1 ! THE LIVJN CACT’US ! ! ! This a stonlbhin Freak of Nature and Vestdge of Creation was giv to Queen Victoria by the King of Arizony, but got a way an eoine home in 2 ships, Brother to the Fossle Rhinottyycurious, and Firs Cusin to the Prehistorric Pugwutninely, Scientifficle name— Jamboree Jcwhilikins. Wock Ur! Wock Up! The Only Reptile in the World which liute got Horns ! I ! Wen they had got ready for the show to begin Jack he stude in the dore for to take the money, an pretty sune a big naked natif nigger he strutted up and read the sine, cos he had been teached by a mitionary preecher for to read, and then he wocked a way lookin mity wise, and Jack he sed, “I bet that feller is the king, an I guess he has red some thing to-day wich wil teech him that kings dont know it all by adamsite.” There was no customers to the sho that day, but nex morning wen it was time for to begin thar was a string of natif niggers a mile long a watin to get in, and evry nigger had a bag threw over his sholder, an if e feller wich-had been there the day before, he was to the hed of the procession, and he spoke up and sed, “There aint ten cents in this howle country, but we want to see yure sho mity bad, so we tot mebby you wude take it out in trade and we nave brot you the only thing which the Island produces. ” Then the line it mooved up and every natif nigger he empted out a bagfie of horn todes jest like the one wich was the sho. There wasent neyer any sech a stonish fellers like Jack an them sailers. Wen Jack tole me a bout it I ast him wot thay done, and he said, Jack did, “Well, Johnny, we dassent keep em out of the sho, and we dassent let em in, and we was too brave for to run. So we just flew.”-UM/e Johnny, in the S. F. Wasp.

Dog Stories.

New York Morning Journal: “Yes,” said the dogist, with an air of conviction, “them dog stories is mostly true; people as laughs at ’em is showing their ignorance, that's all. “I’ll tell you about a half clever dog I kuowed in Chicago. You know there they has bridges what swings across the river. Now this dog had been accustomed to go from the owner’s house to the store every morning at 10 o’clock, allowing himself a quarter of an hour to do the journey of two miles. One morning he was a little late an’ got t’ the bridge just as it was agoing to turn. There wasn’t time enough to get over to the other side, an’ the dog thought the bridge turned quite around; so 1 not being edcticated he got fooled. You know,” said the fancier in explanation, “the bridge only half turns, so that the ends point one time east and another west. ” “Well, how did that fool the dog?” “Why, you see, the dog thought he would save some time, so he ran and sat down on the end pointing east, the way he wanted to go, and when the bridge turned he was on the west side of the river again.” “What did he do then?” . ■J’H& was’ sa-amazed- he did not know what to do, so he ran back home and started afresh.” “Did he land all right that time. ?” “0! yes, but when he got to the store he looked up at the clock, and finding himself half an hour late, sneaked under his master’s desk, and to punish himself didn’t eat nothing all day, besides being so hurt that he couldn’t wag his tail for shame.” “Well, now complete your illustrations by something about an educated dog.” “That’s easy and recent. There’s a man on Sixth avenue whose dog has gone for his paper every morning for years. The man always gave the dog a 3-cent piece to buy the paper, not going to church having no other use for ’em. When the price came down to 2 cents, danged if the dog didn’t threaten to tear the newsvender to pieces until he passed over the penny change.” “What did he do with the pennies—give them to his master?” “Not much; he keeps’em in a corner, and is going to buy a new silver-plated collar with ’em at Christmas. “Dogs has lots o’ sympathy, too. ■Why, I know a dog as ’nd, after hearing his master swear about taxes, eat up every tax-notice that Come into the house.”

A Terra Del Fuego Water-Scape.

While seated at their midday meal, they have before their eyes a "moving ■world of nature, such as may be found only iri tier wildest solitud e. All around the kelp-bed porpoises are plowing the water, now and then bounding up out of it ; while'seals and seabtters show their human-like heads, swimming among the weeds. Birds hover above, in such numbers as to darken the air; at intervals individual birds dart down and go under with a plunge that sends the spray aloft in showers, white as a snow-drift. Others

do their fishing seated on the water; for there are many different kinds of water-fowl here represented: gulls, shags, cormorants, gannets, noddies and petrels, with several species of anativie, among them the beautiful black-necked swan. Nor are they all sea-birds, or exclusively inhabitants of the water. Some of those wheeling in the air above are eagles, hawks and vultures—the last, the Chilian jota. Even the gigantic condor often extends its flight to the Land of Fire, whose mountains are but a continuation of the great Andean chain.— Front “The Land of Fire,” by Capt. Mayne Reid, in St. Nicholas.

An Energetic Officer.

Gen. Warren was the officer in command of our troops at this time. He was rather strict in his ways; the boys at first thought more so than necessary. When we came into the town it had been hastily deserted by many of its inhabitants. They supposed that their former activity in behalf of the Confederacy would subject them to arrest and punishment. Stores were abandoned with goods in them. Some of the boys would insist upon looking them through. Geri. W’arren had properly given strict orders against their doing so. One evening, as he was walking along the street, he found some of the lawless soldiers who had found a way through a back window into one of the deserted stores, and were taking a look at the tobacco and other like goods. Instead of haying them arrested Gen. Warren dismissed them in his own prompt and energetic way. One of them was the eccentric Weed, of Company A. He was always sure to be caught, if any one was. Weed soon returned to our company quarters. He had been suddenly converted. Gen. Warren was now his ideal of a thorough soldier. He rushed into the company quarters wild with enthusiasm—“l tell you, boys,” he exclaimed, “Gen. Warren is just one of the staving best officers we ever had! He means business! He is the kind of officer we want!” Such unexpected commendation for Gen. Warren brought all the boys around him, asking for explanation. Weed explained: “I just now saw the General catch some of the boys who had broke into a store and were stealing the tobacco and sugar. He did not fool about it a bit. He caught one fellow and kicked him lively—kicked him clear into the middle of the street. I tell you, boys, he is a splendid officer! He is a staving fellow! He is the boss!” As soon__asL this eloquent praise could be broken into, the boys asked: “Weed, who was it that got the kicking?” With increased enthusiasm Weed answered: “Oh, I tell you, boys, Gen. Warren is a staving fellow—a good officer—chock full of energy! I—got the—kicking.” And it was true. Weed in his awkward way had stumbled in after some of the other soldiers; they had skipped lively out of sight, and Weed, the most innocent one of the crowd, was left to be caught and booted into the middle of the street by the angry and energetic Fitz Henry Warren.— “ Army Life,” by A. O. Marshall.

Bacteria.

Bacteria have their name from their rod-like shape. They are vegetation so minute as to be visible only by the aid of powerful microscopes. They multiply by division, each rod separating into two parts. Then each part speedily becomes a complete whole, but soon divides into two parts. It will be seen what countless numbers must result. The view has been extensively adopted that these microscopic vegetations are the actual poison that produces most infectious diseases. Prof. Lionel Beale, F. B. S., knighted for his attainments in microscopy and medicine, is not prepared to accept this. We present a condensed statement of his views. The tongue is constantly covered by whole forests of bacteria. Millions pass into the stomach whenever we swallow. It is the same with all animals. Every vegetable and fruit and leaf also contains countless numbers. -So does the air we breathe and the water we drink. All disintegration and decay facilitated the growth of this minute vegetation. It is certain now that bacteria in large quantities are constantly psfesing into men and animals without doing harm. There is probably not a part of the body of any one of us, one-quarter of an inch’-m dniim?ter, where theh’ germs are not present. So small are they that they pass freely into the substance of every organ. They exist within us, even in the blood, without disturbing us in any way. In disease their numbers are vastly increased. It is still an open question whether ■ infectious diseases originate from some special kind of death-carry-ing bacteria; or from practices wholly independent of all such organisms. Though some evidence has been adduced in favor of the first hypothesis, many new facts must be discovered before the problem is solved. — Floral World.

Should Try Another Route.

“How’s your headache to-day?” asked an Austin physician of one of his patients. “Bad as ever—worse, if anything,” was the unsatisfactory and lugubrious reply. “Did you bathe your head in brandy and water, as I directed ?” inquired the physician. ' “No, I tried to, but I couldn’t do it.” “Tried to! Why couldn’t you do it?” said the doctor with considerable surprise. > “I couldn’t get the brandy and water up higher than my mouth tq save my life. Now, you see-, if my mouth was pn top of my head, or if you should hang a bottle of brand/from the ceiling and contrive to tip it over me, it might work, but running on the old route froth the bottle to the top of my head, it is impossible for it to pass my mouth without stopping. 6ah’t you invent something of that kind?”— Texas Siftings. " • The winds of adversity sweep oyer our souls, and scatter their fairest bloMoms of hope. But the blossoms fall that we may bring forth much fruit —patience, faith, and love.

A MYSTERY OF THE SEA.

The Fate Which Overtook the “City of Boston”—Capt. Murray’s Ideas and Experiences. A few years ago, the City of Boston sailed from harbor, crowded with an expectant throng of passengers bound for a foreign shore. She never entered port. The mystery of her untimely end grows deeper as the years Increase, and the Atlantic voyager, when the fierce winds howl around and danger is imminent on every hand, shud-i ders as the name and mysterious fate of that magnificent vessel are alluded to. Our reporter, on a recent visit to New York* took lunch with Capt. George Siddons Mur- , ray, on board the Alaska, of the Guion line. Capt. Murray is a man of stalwart build, wellknit frame, and cheery, genial disposition. He has been a constant voyager for a quarter of a century, over half of that time having been in the trans-Atlantic service. In the course of the conversation over the well-spread table, the mystery of the City of Boston was alluded to. “Yes,” remarked the Captain. “I shall never forget the last night we saw that illfated vetul. I was chief officer of the City of ■ Antwerp. On the day we sigthed the City of Boston a furious southeast hurricane set in. Both vessels labored hard. The sea seemed determined to sweep away every vestige of life. When day ended the gale did not abate, and everything was lashed for a night of unusual fury. Our good ship was turned to the south to avoid the possibility of icebergs. The City of Boston, however, undoubtedly went to the north. Her boats, life-preservers and rafts were all securely lashed; and when she went down, everything went with her, never to reappear until the sea gives up its dead.” “What, in your opinion, Captain, was the cause of the loss of the City of Boston?” “The City of Limerick, in almost precisely the same latitude, a few days later, found the sea full of floating ice; and I have no doubt the City of Boston collided with the ice, and sunk immediately.” Capt. Murray has been in command of the Alaska ever since she was put in commission and feels justly proud of his noble ship. Sue carries thousands of pussangers every year, and has greatly popularized the Williams & Guion line. Remarking upon the bronzed and healthy appearance of the Captain, the reporter said that sea life did not seem to be a very great physical trial. “No? But a person's appearance is not always a trustworthy indication of his physical'condition. For seven years I haVe been in many respects very much out of sorts with •myself. At certain times I was so lame that it wds difficult for me to move around. I could scarcely straighten up. I did not know what the trouble was, and though I performed all my duties regularly and satisfactorily, yet I felt that I might some day he overtaken with some serious prostrating disorder. These troubles increased. I felt duh, and then, again, shooting pains through my arms and limbs. Possibly the next day I would feel flushed and unaccountably uneasy, and the day following chilly and despondent. This continued until last December, when I was prostrated soon after leaving Queenstown, and for the remainder of the voyage was a helpless, pitiful sufferer. In January last, a friend who made that voyage with me, wrote me a letter urging me to try a new course of treatment. I gladly accepted his counsel, and for the last seven months have given thorough and business-like attention to the recovery of my natural health; and to-day, I have the proud featisfaction of saying to you that the lame back, the strange feelings, the sciatic rheumatism; • which have so long pursued me, have entirely disappeared through the blocd-purifying influence of Warner’s Safe Rheumatic Cure which entirely eradicated all rheumatic poison from my system. Indeed, to me, it seems that it has worked wonders, and I therefore most cordially commend it.” “And you have no trouble now in exposing yourself to the winds of the Atlantic?” “Not the least. I am as sound as a bullet, and I feel specially thankful over the fact because I believe rheumatic and kidney disease is in the blood of my family. I was dreadfully shocked on my list arrival in Liverpool to learn that my brother, who is a wealthy China tea merchant, had suddenly died of Bright’s disease of the kidneys, and consider myself extremely fortunate in having taken my trouble in time and before any more serious effects were possible.” The conversation drifted to other topics, and, as the writer watched the face before him, so strong in all its outlinesand yet so genial, and thought of the innumerable exposures and hardships to which its owner bad been exposed, be instinctively wished all who are suffering from the terrible rheumatic troubles now so common might know of Capt. Murray's experience and the means by which he had been restored. Pain is a common thing in this world; but far too many endure it when they might just as well avoid it. It is a false philosophy which teaches us to endure when we can just as readily avoid. So thought the hearty Captain of the Alaska, so thinks the writer, and so should all others think who desire happiness and a Ion" life.

A Sanguinary Pirate.

“I recently heard that the engagement between you and Miss Pinfeather was broken off,” observed an Austin society swell to a compatriot in the same line of business. “Aw, ya-as,” replied the party addressed; “we meet as strangers now, and never speak as we pass by.” “What is the cause of the estrangement?” "Why, don’t chew know? Her father .is a pirate.” -» “A pirate?” “Aw, ya-as.” “Why, what are you talking about? Old Pinfeather ip no pirate.” “Why—aw—ya-as. He’s a regular freebooter. That’s the Reason that I quit going to her house.”— Texas Siftings. '

Healthful Stimulation.

Diffusible stimulants, provided they be absolutely pure, are among the most useful medicinal* agents employed by physicians. When the tone of the system is lowering by the depressing influences of disease, or there is an inherent want of vigor in the eonstitntlon, they serve to counteract weakening tendencies, and cheer the mind of the desponding invalid. But when, as in the case of Hostetter's Stomach Bitters, they possess tonic and alterative properties, their effects are rendered permanent, and they accomplish a trebly beneficial result. The Bitters not only relieve nervous debility and mental depression, by their healthful stimulative action, but Infuse abidingvigor into the depleted system, and rectify those internal disturbances which are the real causes of weakness. The purity and the wholesomeness of the alcoholic basis of the Bitters greatly increases the tfilcacy of their botanic ingredients, a fact which the completeness of their curative effects sufficiently demonstrates.

“We Are the Old Men.”

Two old gentlemen, over whose heads the 17-year locusts have passed repeatedly, are walking along a public promenade which they have frequented for many and many a year. “It’s rather curious,” says the first, “but things seem to be changing here. Don’t you remember how, ever so long ago, we used to see lots of old, old men, crawling up and down herein the sun? What’s become of them all ? I never meet any of them any more,” “My friend,” rejoins his companion, “we are the old, old men that we used to see!” No safer remedy can be had for Coughs and Colds, or any trouble of the Throat, than “Brown’» Bronchial Troche*.” Price 25 cts. Sold only <n boxes. ■ 7.7:.... < ...7

THAT TERRIBLE TRAGEDY!

One of the Chief Causes of Sudden Insanity Illustrated. Kingston (N. Y.) Freeman. As details of the Rathbone wife murder are received they add to its horror. CoL Rathbone. the murderer, was with President Lincoln when Booth shot him, and was himself stabbed by the assassin. The event was followed by nervous prostration, -which produced, says Senator Harris, of Albany, painful dyspepsia, which, growing constantly worse in the last ten years, finally produced “blues” and periodical brain disorders. He was a model husband, but dyspepsia made him a monster! Experts tell us that the brain is the soundest of all organs, and they credit the alarming increase of insanity to derangements of the stomach. What the stomach is the blood will be, and bad blood has a very evil effect on the brain. Dyspepsia is a dangerous disorder, and yet it is far too often neglected when it might be checked or cured. H. 8. Benedict, for thirty-five years express agent up in Troy, has often related how for a long time his life was an unbearable burden. He says he would rather die than go through his old dyspeptic experiences. And John Etting, the widely known Cdd Fellow, of Hudson, informs us that what began in sour stomach, heartburn, lumpy sensations, and occasional constipation, resulted in confirmed dyspepsia, intense heat and distress in the stomach, belching of wind, hard and bloated bowels, loss of appetite, constant constipation, sick headache, and a despondent, irritable condition of mind. These gentlemen can realize, as can thousands of others, to what violence confirmed dyspepsia may drive a man! Happily for them they escaped mental frenzy by the timely use of Dr. David Kennedy’s Favorite Remedy, of Rondout, N- Y-. a pure vegetable, non-alcoholic compound which in the past twenty years has cured in 90 per cent, of cases. It has a very large sale, and is regarded by physicians as most valuable for stomach, malarial, liver, kidney, urinary, female and blood disorders. If we would escape the full penalties ot dyspepsia, we must arrest it before it becomes chronic and sets the blood and brain on fire. The husband is called the head of the family only by those young writers who haven’t had any experience in married life

Twenty-five Per Cent. Stronger than Any Other Butter Color.

Brn ling-ton, Vt., May 3, 1832. I hereby certify that I have examined the Buffer Color prepared by Wells Richardson & Co., and that the same is free from alkali or any other substance injurious to health; that I have compared it with some of the best of the other Butter Colors in the market and find it to be more than 25 per cent, stronger in color than the best of the others. I am satisfied that it is not liable to become rancid, or in any way to injure the butter. I have examined it after two months’ free exposure to the air in a place liable to large changes of temperature, and found no trace of rancidity, while other kinds similarly exposed became rancid. A. H. Sabin. Prof. Chemistry, University of Vermont. Why is a leaky tub like a poor rule? Because it doesn't hold good.

Health is Wealth.

- It is worth more than riches, for without it riches cannot be enjoyed. How many people are without health who might regain it by using Kidney-Wort. It acts upon the Liver, Bowels, and Kidneys, cleansing and stimulating them to healthy action. It cures all disorders of these important organs, purifies the blood, and promotes the general health. Sold by all druggists. See advertisement. A married woman can write better poetry than a single one, because a poet is born, not maid. In 1875 David Kennedy, M. D., of Rondout, one of the best known physicians and surgeons of New York, began to put his “Favorite Remedy” on the market, and it has had a wonderful success. He discovered and proved it in his practice, and knowing it was of great curative value he put it on the market. He has just combletel a fine fourstory building at Rondout and proposes to push his business to the • front. He has associated with himself Mr. George W. Elliott, who for eight years was associate and managing editor of the Rochester Democrat and Chronicle, and.who for the past three years has been at the head of the publishing department of H. H. Warner & Co. of Rochester. He is one of the best posted men in newspaperdom, and has a natural capability in the advertising and publishing line. We congratulate Dr. Kennedy on securing so excellent a coadjutor.•— Albany (N. F.) Journal. Saturday always reminds one of the wooden thing shoemakers use when they make sick folks’ shoes. It’s the. last of the weak. Mensman’s Peptonized Beep Tonic, the only preparation of beef containing 'As-entire nutritious properties. It contains bloodmaking, force-generating and life-sustaining properties; invaluable for indigestion, dyspepsia, nervous prostration, ana all forms of general debility; also, in all efifeebled conditions, whether the result of exhaustion, nervous prostration, over-work, or acute disease, particularly if resulting from pulmonary complaints Caswell. Hazard & Co., proprietors. New York. Sold by druggists.

Why is a leaky tub like a poor rule? Because it won’t hold good. Dyes color anything any color, and never fail. Easiest and best way to economize. 10c at all druggists. Wells, Richardson & Co., Burlington, Vt. Sample card, 32 colors, and book of directions for 2-cent stamp. The dark age: A woman between 25 and 60. At ,the dawn womanhood, or in the change of life, Samaritan Nervine is the ladies’ friend. t 5 How singular that a baby’s Ist 2th should come 4th. From North Hampton, N. H., Mrs. L. B. Tarlton writes: "SamaritanNervine cured my son.” “The bark went down,” said the ague patient, after he had swallowed a big dose of quinine. A Remedy tor Lung Diseases. Dr. Robert Newton, late President of the Eclectic college, of the city of New York, and formerly of Cincinnati, Ohio, tised Dr. Wm. Hall’s Balsam very .extensively in his practice, as many of his patients, now living, and restored to health by the use of this invaluable medicine, can amply testify. He always said that so good a remedy ought to be prescribed freely by every physician as a sovereign remedy in all cases of lung diseases. It cures consumption, and has no equal for all pectoral complaints.

Indorsed by the Clergy.

We take pleasure in recommending Dr. Warner’s White Wine of Tar Syrup to any public speaker that may be troubled with throat or lung disease. Rev. M. L. Booher, pastor Presbyterian church, Reading, Mich. Rev. J. T. iddings, Albion, Mich. Rev. V. L. Lockwood, Ann Arbor, Mich.

“Put up” at the Gault House.

The business man or tourist will find firstclass accommodations at the low price of $2 and 82.50 per day at the Gault House, Chicar go, corner Clinton and Madison streets. This far-famed hotel is located in the center of the city, only one block from the Union Depot. Elevator: all appointments first-class. H. W. Hoyt. Proprietor-

Cured Clergymen.

Pev. L. S. Caultan. of Circleville, Kas., says: Dr. Warner, your White Wine of Tar Syrup has been in my family ana found to be ah and even more than you claim of it. It is a speedy cut 9 for all Throat and Lung diseases. twf solvent properties, of crude oil are so well established that it Is unnecessary to quote examples. Carboline is made from crude oil devoid of smell, and is guaranteed to remove scurf and dandruff. ■ - '7. .

I rotnro it • tore core. I have been troubled with Catarrhal deafaesa for seven or eight years, with a roaring noise in my head. I bought medicine in tbirteeh States, but nothing helped me till I procured a bottle of Ely’s Cream Balm. In four days I could bear as well as ever- I am cured of the Catarrh as well. I consider Ely’s Cream Balm the best medicine ever made.—Gabbbtt Widkick, Hastings, N. Y. Ptso’s Remedy for Catarrh is convenient to use and carry when on a journey. “Rough on Rats” clears out Rats, Mice. 15c. *— Mother Swan’s Worm Syrup, tasteless. 25c. “Rough on Coughs” Troches, 15c; Liquid,soc. Wklls’- Mar- Apple (Liver) Pills, 10c. - • “Rough on Toothache,” instant rellof. 15c. "Buchu-paiba,” Gnat Kidney and Urinary Core. *l. “Rough on Corns," for Coma, Warts, Bunions. Me. Wells’ Health Renewar cures Dyspepsia, Impotence. The “Rough on” Tooth Powder, elegant. 15c. “We always keep Piso’s Cure for Consumption in tho house/’

FAILA>*3 The only known specific for Epileptic Fits.-®* jO-Also for Spasms and Falling Sickness.-®! Nervous Weakness quickly relieved and cored. Equalled by none in delirium of fever.*®* 49-Neutralizes germs of disease and sickness. Cures ugly blotches and stubborn blood sores. Cleanses blood, quickens sluggish circulation. Eliminates Bolls, Carbuncles and Scolds.*®* jia-Permanently and promptly cures paralysis. Yes, It is a charming and healthfill Aperient. Kills Scrofula and Kings Evil, twin brothers. Changes bad breath to good, removing cause. biliousness and clears complexion. Charming resolvent and matchless laxative.*®* It drives Sick Headache like the wind.*®* jy Contains no drastic cathartic or opiates. Promptly cures Rheumatism by routing it.-®* Restores life-giving properties to the blood.-®* Is guaranteed to cure all nervous disorders.-®* when all opiates fail.-®* Refreshes the mind and invigorates the body. Cures dyspepsia or money refunded.-®* ty Endorsed in writing by over fifty thousand Leading physicians in IT. S. and Europe.-®* Leading clergymen in U. 8. and Europe.-®* Diseases of the blood own it a conqueror.-®* For sale by all leading druggists. $1.50.-®* For testimonials and circulars send stamp. Tbs Dr. S. A. Richmond Mod. Co., Props.,! St- Jocph., 3£o. (12)

3 ONE CENT I New Set ot Cards. A. G. BASSTAMPS. I SETT, Rochester, N. Y. V ABERDEEN INK. Best Writing Fluid. Large profits to Agents. Package to make quart, 15c; 10 packages. »1. FIREY & HAGERTY, Aberdeen, Dakota. Vaiiho* M learnTnjaaarirr here and T OU ng m e n we WIH give you a situation. Circulars free. VALENTINE BROS., Janesville. Wta TXT ANTED experienced Book and Bi Ide Agents in n every County. Liberal Salaries Paid. Address, staling experience, P. O. Box g.«„ Chicago, Hl. ODIUM and WHISKY HABITS cured Vi IU IVI at home without pain. Book of particulars sent free. B.M.Woollky.M.D., Atlanta,Ga. HnTITI Bv return matt. Fell Pwriptioe K F p Jleedy’a New Twilwr Myatem nt JL -laM-U Dress Cutting mooui a BtAEfIA MONTH. Agents Wanted. 90 best X/H selling articles in the world. 1 sampleFAEg WAUU Address JAY BRONSON, Dxtboit, Mica. Kidney and bladder Troubles. Send 2c stamp for sample cure. Agents wanted. N. H. PERRINE, Chemist, Hoboken/N. J, MMBBHIHBDBBBMHBHB Bore Teller a jms 1 KIPPERS PABTIIIEB.ym.^Ji l iS ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■i-harlestown, Hass. f° r *ny disability; also to r ENSIUNS HAM, Attorney since 1865, Washington, D. C. IF YOU WANT TO MAKE MONEY write to CARRUTH & OO„ Bankers, Washington, D.C, n ■ ‘FFLITO MO PATENT, NO PAY! M IkN IX U. 5.4 A.P. LACEY. Patent ■ M ■ Iblw ■ W Attorneys, Washington, D.C. Full instructions and Hand-Book of Patents sent free. Flue New Origans. I A TJ £ \f h For particulars write Nk fIB 111 lai Reed’s Temple of Muaic.BlJ I «| VI V 136 State St., Chicago. Vlw BEAHD KUXIBvf—. X A fferW Pereas luxuriant MaMadN, Whi«- (Before! ( A?Ut( SCLir’t Cm JUU week. WIH prove B er Prtafc sar?a«ha«a w<tk direguw eeeUd mJ pemeaia 25reew. h tore# •M.. L, A. L. SMITH A CO.. Affr«U. I’aUUDt* Illa —people have become rich working ■rfl rl wTS Ira for us. we otter you a bu.-inesa B SB BB B Bl which is easy to learn- one paying H SB Sir you large sums et money rn profits. 1 II H B B Every one who is willing to work L# ■ E cangetrich- Men, women, anb ev.-n " w boys and girls Are making fortunes. No capital required. We will start you in the business. Yon run no risk whatever. You need not be away from . home. Full particulars free. W. V.. R. POWIH,

—H — E - fR This porous plaster la n famous tor it* quick and hpnrtw Action in PI AQTFP curing Lame Back, ■ " W B Rheumatimn, Sciatica, Crick in the Back, Bide or Hip, Neuralgia, Stiff Joints and Muscles, Sore Cheat, Kidney Troubles and all pains or aches either local or deep-seated. It Soothes, Strength, ens and Stimulates the parte. The virtues of hops con*, blued with gums—clean and ready to apply. Superior to liniments, lotions and salves. Price 25 cents or * lor 11,05. Sold by drug- at —j| am gists and country AL IjMtlaa I stores. Mailed on re- J” _7_JjL 7 SUCCESS prietors, Boston, Maae. —h — ■ ty The best family pill made—Hawley’s Stomach and Liver Pills. Ko. Pleasant in action and easy to take. Catarrh elys CREAM BALM IwCctFAM RALv’’JM when applied by the ■Kryun *77-1 tjw Sneer into the nostrils, S*n7jJ*.CUßrc 1 will be absorbed,effect--I I dally cleansing the ■ 'Crt/Try ntAnl head of catarrhal virus, TTjK causing healthy secrenation, preterit the tM-s LV.-v’ membrane of the nasal 7 O'cV jassages from addiHr' / tional colds, complete■V / X heals the sores, and .'estoree sense of taste mVKSHF iCflßlUe i l - SOT or flr U SA. * a few applications L, —* -_ relieve. A tAoroujjA HfiY~FEYEn •.-■-r’-— * wl/l cure. IB' w MB Agreeable to use. Send tor cirrnlar. Price 50 cents bv mail or at druggists. ELY BBOTHEIi-S. Druggists. Owego. N.Y. EM ly interesting bn- mcmus fwrial story by Waltkk T. Gbay, author of -The Bad Boy Abroad," will be commenced in the issue of The Chicago Ledges of February 2d, 1884, and be continued from week to week till completed. fids narrative of the experience of a “Printer’s Devil" is filled w,th fun and excitement from beginning to end, and wil l_ be appreciated by all lovers of humor and wit. The Chicago Ledges is Ktrutly a •lot yrxiper, ot Verge size, and is sold for (IDO per annum. Iry itfor a year, and get the best paper in the country for the money. Every number is filled with choice original and ae-

■ ...... , . An Open Secret. The fact i« well understood that the MEXICAN MUSTANG LINIMENT Is by fin the best external known for man or beast. The reason why becomes an “open secret ” when we explain that “ Mustang ” penetrates skin, flesh and muscle to the very bone, removing all disease and soreness. No other liniment does this, hence none other is so largely used or does such worlds of good.

? *A if WONDERFUL CURES OF // kidneydiseases 0 and Q LIVER COMPLAINTS, o It acts on the LIVER, BOWELS and ’ KIDNEYS at the lame time. Because it cleanses the system es the poisonous humors that develops in Kidney and Urinary Diseases, Biliousness, Jaundi-e, Constipation. Piles, or in Bneumatlsm, Neuralgia, Nervous Disorders and all Female Complaints. : 0-SOLID PROOF OP THIS. n> will bumlt cum CONSTIPATION, PILES, and RHEUMATISM, By causing FREE ACTION of all the organs and fnnrtinnii. thereby CLEANSING the BLOOD restoring the normal power to throw off disease, THOUSANDS OF CASKS of the worst forms of these terrible dines see have been quickly relieved, and in a short time PERFECTLY CURED. PRICE, *l. LiqriD oa DET, SOLD BY DBtCCISTS. Dry can be sent by snail. WELLS, BICHABDSON & Burlington, Vt. 8 Send itamp fur Diary Almanac fur ISM.

CONSUMPTION. I have a positive remedy for the above disease; by Its use thousands of cases of the worst kind and ot long standing have bean cured. Indeed, so strong Is mr falta In Its sffleacy, that 1 will send TWO BOTTLES FIIIE. together with a VALUABLE TKKATIMton this disease, to any Sutterer. Give Kxprea* and P. O. address. PR. T. A. SLOCUM. IM Pearl SU, Haw York. SA SSK.SB IINES: Tbeywill ;in 2 minutes. Endorsed by congresamen from everjr State We sell machines or the right lomake them. Any farmer can make them. Circulars free. WX.GlLEß,Washington,D.C. TO K. LIN DBLOM & CO., N. G. MILLER * CO.. 5 4 7 Chamber of 55 Broadway! Commerce. Chicago. New York. GRAIN A PROVISION BROKERS. Members of all prominent Produce Exchanges 1M New York, Chicago. St. Louis and Mllwankee. We have exclusive private telegraph wire between Chicago and New York. Will execute orders on oar judgment whetprequeeted. Send for circulars containing particulars. ROOT. LINDBLOM fc CO.. Chicago. MfiMCYJIOOPw Month Hl Ull £ I > ssSS X’sMaf Introducing the “Bon Ton” System of Dresa-c-ultlng. The aim pleat and most perfect. Large profits. Quick returaa. No canvassing. .Complete outfit only •1.00. Svetem retail* at #3.00. Secure territory at once. Every lady who news and every dressmaker will buy one on sight. Noto to your time. Be first in the field. Don’t hold back and let some one else get in ahead. Inclose stamp for prompt reply. Address BON TON SYSTEM CO., Canton. Ohio. I CURE FITS! When 1 say cure 1 uo not mean merely to stop them me a time and then have them return ngaln, I mean a radb cal cure. I have mads the dlaswe of PITS, BHLVST or FALLING SICKNESS* lire-long Study. ' remedy to cure the woret cases. Because other* have failed Is »o reason for not now recsMng a o”™-, remedy GIV. W Bx"r“. l/eoats y<~ S d G , S«. , ?i rt »t..NewTa* CHEAPEST au< * best in the world. None at good, and pure. x. Bu y direct from the Grower. • Expr. or Podtoga paid to you. Seeds. My new beautifuFinustnu ted Garden Guides cost me #d)00. FREE to everybody. Seeds at 3c. » per pkt. Cheap as dirt by oz. & ft. Send vour address for prettiest FRKk BOOK printed. R. H. SHUMWAY, Rockford, 111.

WnHHHmwl * J ALL DRUCCIBTB BELL IT. CThe Oldest Medicine in the World tn ft probably Dr. Isaac Thompson’s U elebrated Eye Wateli This article la a carefully prepared i*ysician’s prescription. and has been, in .constant juae for^ nearly a ationstoathave been introduced intone market,'the as eof this article is constantly increasing. If the db rect ons are followed it will never fail. We particularly invite the attention of phmaaua to its merits. John L. Thompson, Son* £ Co., Troy, N. Y TKIDE- m -| im. . COPY- » PATENTS Ilf scribe mntr Invention. L. BIKGHAJf, P'llnl Hoover (Boot cm Patent* jreei. Wa»kl>mt»u, I>. C. -T«»wSt All USI fJUIL S Ml Best Cough Syrinx Tables good, rr* l HI ~ S.B-P.L. know wluU xuediuoM pay them beau. - -■ - -r~ —il— 1 7 7. 7--,