Rensselaer Republican, Volume 16, Number 19, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 17 January 1884 — Page 3

A Reckless Army Adventure.

While we were camped at Brashear City, with our lines on the east side of the river, and the enemy in possession of the country on the vest side, a little band of five boys belonging to our brigrade had an adventure that at the time attracted much attention. The five Union soldiers got possession of a skiff and passed over to the enemy’s side of the river. The object of this raid, it must be confessed, was to forage some chickens and pigs, everything in that line being very scarce on our side. Of course they had no right to thus venture into the enemy’s country. Considerable time had passed without success, and the prospect of leaving the rebel land as hungry as they came began staring them in the face. At last they discovered the smoke curling up from a fire in the woods near at hand. As they approached they were surprised to see that they had run upon a camp of some thirty Confederate cavalrymen. The rebels were evidently on a scouting expedition, and at the time when discovered by our boys were busily engaged in cooking their dinner. The discovery brought the Union boys to a halt. "What to do was the question. Should they retreat? No. The boys of the Thirteenth Army Corps never retreat. Ab for fighting that was equally out of the question. They only had one gun among them, and besides the odds were six to one against them. In this dilemma they decided that the only thing tb do was to frighten the Confederates out of their position. It must be remembered that the little band was composed of five of the most reckless and daring men of our brigade. If they had not been so, they would not have thus ventured so far, merely for the chances of finding some fat chickens. The plan was no sooner suggested than acted upon. With a whoop and a yell like wild savages they dashed through the thick brush and right into the midst of the astonished rebels. The alarmed Confederates thought that Old Nick himself had come, and ran for dear life, leaving guns and sabers and even part of their horses in the possession of the wild Yankee boys. The reckless Union soldiers grabbed up the abandoned guns and fired rapidly, thus completing the Confederates’ delusion that they were being attacked by a large force, and they continued their rapid retreat without once looking back, glad to escape with their lives. The dinner, consisting of some fat chickens and plump pigs about ready for eating, was also left by the departing rebels. With cool impudence the five reckless boys eat down and ate the dinner. After the dinner was disposed of, they gathered up the things they had captured and returned to camp. The large amount of plunder they brought in was conclusive evidence that their report of the adventure had not been exaggerated. But for the fact that in ci*ossing the river in the first instance they had violated positive military orders, they would no doubt have been highly commended and rewarded for their brilliant action. —“ Army Life," by A. 0. Marshall,

An Indian’s Cure for Headache.

Everyone who has been in British Cuiana has heard of the kenaimas, human and spiritual powers of evil, who are the bane and terror of the Indian’s existence. To counteract the malefic influence of the kenaimas, each larger Indian village keeps its peaiman or medicine-man. One of Mr. im Thurn’s most interesting adventures was that in which he placed himself in the hands of a peaiman, who undertook to cure him of a headache, and who, to judge from the author’s description, had in him the making of an admirable spiritualist professor or of a thoughtreader. Mr. im Thurn submitted for six long hours, in a hut on the savannah, to the process of “peaing.” By ventriloquism were produced the most terrible noises, and an extremely clever imitation of the animals of Guiana in whose bodies the kenaimas who had Bestowed the headache were supposed to lurk. The patient describes himself as being all the while in a sort of mesmeric trance, feeling at times the sir driven over his face, “as if soihe big winged thing oame from afar toward the house, passed through the roof, and then settled heavily on the floor; and again, after an interval, as if the same winged thing rose and jmssed away as it had come.” It was interesting, even wonderful; but he was not cured. He” rushed at last into the open savannah and “a wild and pitch-dark night;” and, “bare-headed, bare-footed, and coatless,” with the lightning flashing mow and then behind the distant mountains, waited for the dawn. The peaiman insisted that a cure had been effected, and demanded payment; and, as he produced in proof the kenaima, a caterpillar which had been extracted from Mr. im Timm’s body, his fee, “a look-ing-glass which had cost 4 pence, "could not be denied.—j Sf. James Gazette.

Barnum’s Trick Exposed.

One day, says the Pittsburgh Dispatch, Barnum noticed a man leading a peculiarly shaped horse through the streets of Washington city. Turning to a friend, he said he would bet SSOO he could make a pile of money out of that horse. The bet was taken, and nothing more was thought of it. One morning the people- of Washington wakened to see the city plastered with bills, on which was a cut of a .woolly horse. The small bills said it had been •captured by Fremont during his explorations in the Bocky mountains, and that it would soon be on exhibition near the Capitol. Thomas Benton, Fremont’s father-in-law, saw the sign out as he went to the Capitol. He was with some ■Congressmen when the show-bill caught his eye, and he remarked: “I am going to put an end to this infernal swindle, ” and the two started to go in. ' The ticket-taker stopped them and asked them for their money. Benton banded him a quarter. He attempted to stop them, still saying Ahat was not enough, butßenton pushed him angrilyaside with “I hare had enough of this foolishness, ” and striding past him Went in and jumped over the rope which separated the woolly horse from its audience, and with a cut of his knife skinned half of his woolly cover off him, showing the

dame old bony, bay steed, with the ordinary fur on him common to horses.

What Bill Arp Is Going to Do.

Now lam home again and having a good time telling my wife and children all about my journey, and what a good time I had among those noble people, and how I met old schoolmates and old army friends, and I feel 1 letter and younger, and now I am going to get Mrs. Arp off to Florida where she can renew her youth like the eagle, and just as soonas I get rich I’m going to buy her a winter home down there with orange groves, and pineapples, and bananas, and cocoanuts, and lemons, and guava, and a summer home away up here among the mountains, and a railroad and palace cars between the two and a free pass over the line and plenty of money at both ends of it. I think she would like that, and with a half dozen or & dozen of her numerous and lovely posterity to travel with her I think she would be happy. It is good for a man or woman to leave home occasionally and be petted and munched up abroad among kindred and friends, and it is good for them to come back again and rest and enjoy the quiet and peace of the family fireside and bask in the sunshine and smiles of the loved ones at home. I like to go, but I love to return. God bless our homes and protect them from envy and discontent and from fire and sword. —Atlanta Constitution.

Old Gov. Mattocks.

Old Gov. Mattocks, of Vermont, who, when in Congress, boasted that he could “beat ’em all writing bad,” was no speech-maker. The nearest he ever came to making a political harangue, according to a writer in the Lowell Courier , was once when his friends gathered around him to congratulate him upon his nomination as Governor of the State. He was in a tight place, for he was compelled to reply. His reply was as follows-. “Boys, I thank you; and now if you elect me for Governor I will tell you what T will do. I will appoint two Thanksgivings and no fast. Good-by.” Still, he wasn’t often at a loss to find something to say when something had to be said. One New Year’s day morning as he was bathing and preparing for breakfast he unfortunately leaned against the door at the head of the stairs leading to the kitchen. The door gave w ay, and the maids of the household, while busy preparing the morning meal, were astounded to see, rolling and tumbling into their presence, a chubby, fat old gentleman in a most unmesentable attire. But his wits were with him. “Ladies,” he exclaimed politely, “I wish you all a happy New Year;” and then bounded up-stairs again, four steps at a time.

The Old-time Fireman of New York.

There was many a man worth $1,000,000, many a man of high social, commercial, or political position, who waited Monday patiently for three hours with the one purpose—to see the parade of the old Volunteer Fire department. Not a citizen of New York, whose locks are grizzling or thinning in middle age, fails to remember the swing, the elan, the “gallusness” (if the word may be allowed) that made a part of the active life of the city before the war, and not one forgets that the “fire laddie” of twenty-five years ago was the typical, “rough and ready,” and at once the typical good citizen of the town. Memories of riots in the Bowery; traditions of the old-time feuds that were settled or kept alive by the battles, from which the old “Leatherhead” police judiciously retired, and prond recollections of the gallantry and heroism of the red-shirted boys who, without pay or reward, fought fire and faced death in manly contempt for peril whenever the call to duty came—all these were stirred in the minds of the men who stood yesterday in the pelting rain waiting for the firemen to go by.— New York Times.

Mistletoe.

The cultivation of this singular parasitic shrub for ornamental purposes is recommended in foreign papers, and young trees with Mistletoe growing on them are offered for sale in English nurseries. It is generally found on the branches of apple trees, but is not very particular in this respect, and takes its habitation also on different other trees. It may be raised from seed placed in the crevices of the bark of young, healthy branches; or it may be propagated by grafting; in which case, a piece with a portion of the bark of the tree from which it is taken has to be cut with it, and firmly secured to the new position. The European species is larger and rather more ornamental than our native kind, for which reason the latter might not prove a success for exclusively ornamental purposes; but if some enterprising florist should succeed in raising Mistletoe in neat hanging-baskets, which might be hung ingeniously over doors and archways under which young people of both sexes have to pass"— and older ones, too, for that matter—there might spring up quite a demand for the “novelty” about Christmas-time. ; j

The Land of Fruit Tree and vines.

John Codman, writing to the New York Evening Post of the future of California, says: “The era of wheat will come to an end like those of gold, of hides and tallow, and of Indian hunting for furs or wild beasts. In the near future we can see in its stead a land of fruit trees and vines, a new France in our republic, greater than France, a republic by herself. There is scarcely any difference in acreage. California has 1811,000 square miles, and France has less than 200,000. In climate and soil California is superior., It could support 30,000,000 Frenchffien, if we had" them hero with their economical habits* as well as it now supports 1,000,000 extravagant soidisant Americans.” n *—— r-3 V The talent of turning men into ridicule, and exposing to laughter those one eonversas wiih, is the qualification of little minds and ungenerous tempers. A y6ung man with this cast of mind cuts himself off from all manner of improvement—Mdtion. ~ ....

Has a Married Man Any Rights?

“I say!” said a friend the other day, “you are an old hand at it. I only got married the Other day, and don’t understand much about the business. But lias a married man any rights left when he once assumes the hymeneal responsibilities ?” “Bights? Yes, lots! He’s a right to. pay all the bills, to ” fc Stop! Ibiean this. Let me give you an instance. E very box and drawer, and portmanteau, and; in fact, every available receptacle of eyery description, is stuffed full of my wife’s property, and when I want to put away a few cuffs and collars ” “Hold hard! I know- what you mean. Listen, young man! if your bedroom were 200 yards long, and lined from the floor to the ceiling with drawers, and yon wanted a place to stow- away a couple of shirts, you couldn’t find a' nook that wasn’t fall of hairpins, tufts of frizzes, pads, sceift-bottles, old gloves, powder-puffs, rings and things. So just accept the inevitable. Wrap your personal property in an old newspaper or some brown paper, and hide the parcel under the bed.” He smiled loudly and ironically, and passed on, a wiser if not a better man.

The Poetical and the Practical.

Skimpins is a man of poetical nature, and Joblingson, his nearest friend, is one of those practical persons who act as balance-wheels in the machinery of the social world. They were pacing down the street together, when Skimpins, who was in one of his moralizing moods, said: “How strange it is that in the midst of the teeming thousands of a great city like this there are so few men with whcm one comes into really intimate relations. We meet them in the street, and even brush against them as we pass, and we look into their faces, but we know nothing of them. See that man who has just passed us. Did you notice his sad face, his introspective eves, his downcast head, and his of general discouragement? I have been so near him that I might have touched him with my hand, and . yet X know nothing about him. How I should like to inquire of him if he has any sorrow-, what is his life, what his thoughts, his hopes, his fears!” “Yes,” said the practical Joblingson, “and probably have him strike you for $5, which he would never take the trouble to pay back again. As for me, I know a blamed sight more people now than I wish I did.”—Boston Journal.

Cleveland, Ohio.

The Daily Anzeiger says : “Chief Superintendent of Police J. W. Schmitt, of this city, who has been in the service a quarter of a century, indorses St. Jacobs Oil as a pain-banisher. It cured him of rheumatism.”

What the Train Stopped For.

“What has the train stopped for?” growled an ugly passenger to the conductor. “I don’t know, but I’ll go out and see if you desire it, sir ?” “Well, I wish to thunder you would; I never saw such an unaccommodating gang in my life as you railroad men.” The conductor left, and after ten minutes of impatient waiting the passenger went out on the platform and saw him sitting on a pile of ties. “Here, yon, conductor,” he shouted, “what’s the matter ?” “Oh, nothin’ only the engineer has discovered some lost motion in the running gear, and he has sent the fireman back to the next station to see if he can find it. Now go in and sit down, and when the train starts I’ll "ome in and tell yon, so yon won’t make the passengers think we are running over the ties by your infernal growling.”— Merchant Traveler'.

Regularity Brings Vigor.

Local irregularities produce weakness of the entire system. In order, therefore, to re-estab-lish health and strength upon a sure basis, these irregularities must be permanently overcome. Many persons endeavor to reform them by remedies which address themselves merely to the symptoms, without affecting the cause. If such individuals were to use instemj Hostettcr’s Stomach Bitters, they would speedily appreciate the difference between the medicine which palliates, and one which entirely removes physical disability. That prime regulator of bodily disturbances restores the derelict organs to an uninterrupted and healthy performance of their various duties, whereby alone the system can recover its lost tone and vigor. Hostetter’s Stomach Bitters are a tonic medicine, but they are a tonic which regulates ere they strengthen the system. Among the tombs: Stout party-'Wd, Pat, how 0 8 trade?” Grave-digger—“ Poorly, surr, ontirely; shure, wo haven’t buried a livin’ sowl this three weeks!”

Their Name is Legion.

Legions of people have had their lives made miserable by Piles. This painful difficulty is often Induced and always aggravated by Constipation. Kidney-Wort is the great remedy for all affections of this kind. It acts as a gentle cathartic, promotes a healthy action ot the bowels, and soothes and heals the inflamed surfaces. It has cured hundreds of cases whore all other remedies and applications have failed. Sold by all druggists. The incompetent dressmaker will And that a feigned art never won a fall- lady.

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bgyoh to ftMdwaUßielyriiJeto be on jonf feet; that constant drain that is taking from your system all its former eljutjaity ; driving lm't^.ri’an/^fiß, Betters. IrregulartUes^ of your system ate relieved at once, while the special cause of periodical pain are peirawnently removed. None receives so much benefit, and none are so profoundly grateful and show such an interest in recommending Hop Bitters as women. Feds Young Again. ‘My mother was afflicted a long time with Neuralgia and a doll, heavy, inactive condition the whole system; headache, nervous prostration, and was almost helpless. No physician or medicines did her any good. Three months ago rite began to use Hop Ritters with such good effect that she seems and feels young again, although over 70 years old We think there is no other medicine fit to use in the lady, in Providence. Bradford, Pa, May 8,1875. 2 It has onred me of several diseases, such as nervousness, sickness at the monthly troubles, eta I have net seen a sick day in a year, since I took Hop Bittern All my neighbors use them. Mbs. Fannie Greks. $3,000 Lost.—“A tour of Europe that cost me . ‘13,000, done me less good one bottle of Bos ‘Bitters; they also cored my wife of fifteen “years' nervous weakness, sleeplessness and ‘Dyspepsia’ B. M-, Auburn, N. Y. High Authority. Hop Bitters is not. in any sense, an alcoholic beverage or liquor, and could net be sold foe use except to persons dee irons of obtaining a medicinal bltt.rs. Greks B. Radk, U. a Com. Inter! Bov. So. BLOOirvTLLK, 0., May 1, “7*. ' Sirs—l have been suffering ten years and 1 tried your Hop Bitters and it done me mm good than ail tbe doctors. Miss 8. a Boons. Baby Saved 1 We are so thankful to say that our naning baby was permanently cared of a dangerous and protracted constipation and irregularity at the bowels by tbe use of Hop Bitten by its mother, which at the same time restored her to perfect health and strength. The Parent* Rochester, N. Y. "—rnm—mmmmmmmmmi ' - I IHltiy siWIUsI&U? THE SURE CURE FOR KIDNEY DISEASES, LIVER COMPLAINTS, CONSTIPATION, PILES, AND BLOOD DISEASES. | PHYSICIANS ENDORSE IT HEARTH!. | “Kidney-Wort is tbe most suooessftd remedy I over used.” Dr. F. 0. Daltott. Mwkton, Yt. UjUways rafloUe.” !Dr. 5. ft. Clark, Be. Nam, Vt. “Kidney-Wort turn curod my wife after twa years suffering.” Dr. C. M. SlunaerUn, StOlHiU, Qo. IN THOUSANDS OF CASKS it has cured where all else hsd toiled. ItlemUd, but efficient, CERTAIN IN ITS ACTION, bat harmless in all caoes. (Wit cleanses the Blood and Strength.*, and I sue* New Life to all the important organa of I the body. The natural action of the Kidneys to ■ restored. The Liver to cleansed of sll disease, ■ and the Bowels move freely and healthfully. ■ In this way the worst diseases aro eradicated ■ from tho system. M ■ FUCK, SIOO LIQUID OB DKT, SOLD BT Dttt'fifflOTS. I Dry can be sent by mall. I WELLS, BIOHABPSON ACO.Bartfagt— V*. j FiaiagiMHmqgiil TOVOnTM A A high- **lv interesting husl story by Walter T. (1b ay, author of "Theßad Boy Abroad,” will be commenced in the issue of Tar* Chicago Ledger of February 2d, ISB4, rad be continued a ‘'Printer’s Devil” is fiHOd With fan i and excitement from beginning to end, rad will bo I appreciated by all lovers of humor rad wit. Ta* Chicago Ledger is strictly s story paper, of large size, and is sold for f IDO per annum. Try it for a year,, and get the best paper in the country for the money. Every number is filled with choice original and mlected stories. TO SPECULATORS, j Commerce, Chicago. New York. GRAIN * PROVISION BROKERS. Members ol all prominent Produce Exchangee is New York, Chicago, St. Louis and Milwaukee. _We have exclusive private telegraph wire between Chicago and New York. Will execute orders on oat Bcms VIHf AU. EUffAIU. ■ lIIIMWIIIiy B.R-F.L. No. 3-M. In writing to Advertisers, please do sot Call to mention this paper. Advertisers like to know what medium* pay them best.