Rensselaer Republican, Volume 16, Number 18, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 10 January 1884 — Page 2

THE THREE ROBES* A Httterobe „ With an embroider'd band. Kern her smile, I hear heroins A low, eweet lullaby; Mtd oft I see a thought oMoy Llirbt up her bright bltß eye. It is a robe tor her deer child To be christen'd in! There lies across the mother's knee, And gather'd in her hand, A silken robe, with puffs of lace, —*- And sn embroider d band. , 'Tie white, and like a cloud at eve, That floats across the sky; Bat oh! I hear the mother give An olt-repeated sigh. • It is a robe tor her dear child To be wedded in! There lies across the mother's knee. And gathenid in her hand, A robe of softest wool; but it Has do embroider'd band. And on her cheeks so wan and Dale The mother's tears I see, Aiwi hear her nray, Lord, give me strength! Oh! give Thy strength to me! It is a robe for her dear child To be buried in! —Portland Transcript.

••SHE KIND O’ UNDERSTANDS.” My fiddle? Well, I kind o’ keep her handy, don’t you know, Though I ain't so much inclined to tromp the strings and switch the bow Aa I was before*the timber in my elbows got so And mongers were more limber-like and caperish and spry. Yet I can plonk and plunk and pllnk and tune her up and play, . , , , And |nst lean back and laugh and wink at ev ry rainy day. My playin' is only middlin’—tunes I picked up when a boy— „ The kind o’ sort o’ fiddlin that the folks calls The and “Rye Straw" and “My Sailyor’s on the Sea." Is the old cotillions I “saw" when the ch’ioe is left to me; ... And no I plunk and plonk and plink and rosumnp my bow, And play the tunes that makes you think the devil’s in your toei ***** * That’s how this here old fiddle won my heart's ~~ ' endurin’ lovel __ . ■ From the strings acrost her m ddle to the screechin'keys above— ■- From her •’apron,” overbridge, and tjo the ribbon round her throat, ' She's a wooin*. booin’ pigeon, smgin ‘Love me ev*ry note! And so I pat her neck and plink her strings with lovin' hands, toa lia'nin’ dost. I sometimes think she kind o' understands.

THREE MINUTES TO TWELVE.

On a cold night some twenty-three years ago, when the earth was bound in a black frost and the bitter wind blew strong and shrewdly. I was returning home to spend the evening at a friend’s house, situated some three or four miles out oT town. The sky was so black, the country lanes so dark, that I was truly thankful when the scattered lights of an outlying suburb began to twinkle in the distance: and it was with a sigh of relief that I stopped under the first lamp-post I came to and looked at my watch. It was no easy task, for the lamp-glass had a pane broken and the strong wind blew the gas in all directions and almost extinguished it. .V, I read the time at last—three ,jnin\ ntes to twelve—and, looking up from my watch-face, I started to see a man standing close opposite to me. I had heard nothing of his approach. We looked at each other but for a moment, yet it was time sufficient to imprint bis features indelibly on my memory. A tall, shabby man, in a threadbare, black frock coat and a seedy tall hat, his face lantern-jawed and sallow, his eyes sunken and lustreless, his beard long and ill-trimmed. In a tone of elaborate civility he asked me the time, thanked me for my answer, and giving me good-night, passed into the black darkness which seemed to engulf him like a grave. I turned for a moment to think of his lonely walk in that grim obscurity, and resumed my homeward way, laughing at myself for the start he had given me, and reflecting that the strong wind had blown away the sound of his approach. I thought of him as I sat and smoked my pipe over my fire, and~l felt a comfortable slmdder steal over me as I imagined him facing the bitter blast in liis insufficient clothing. In the course of a week or two the incident—trifling enough, heaven knows—faded from my memory and I thought no more of it. In those days I was actively engaged in the timber trade, and the course of my business took me a good deal about the county and brought me largely in' contact with the agents of the different noblemen and country gentlemen of the "district. With one of these agents who resided near the county town of L , I had numerous transactions, and I used often to run down to L- to meet him, for the town was only fifteen miles away and w;as on a line of railway. It •was a dull little hole enough, that only warmed up into life when the militia were out or the assizes were on. One night I returned from L ——, having just made a large purchase from my friend the agent, whose master, a sporting nobleman, was reduced to cut down the family timber. When I fell asleep that night I had a very simple bnt vivid dream. I thought I was standing on a lofty hill. By my side stood a veiled figure, who, with a commanding gesture, mptioned me towards the town of L , which lay in the far distance. Then I awoke. Of course I explained the thing to myself easily enough. I had been a good deal engaged in the neighborhood' of the place, and had a large venture more or less remotely connected with it. Still'the dream was so vivid that I could not dismiss it from my thoughts daring the whole of the day, and when I went to bed at night I\ wondered if it wonld again visit me. It did come again; precisely the same dream in precisely the same manner. Once more I found a convincing explanation. I>onbtless I had been "thinking too much about the first dream, and this bad given rise to the second. Bnt my explanation did not eenviaea me in the least; again I was haunted by the thing throughout the day, and when I came home at night my preoccupation was so evident that it attracted the attention of my wife. Slip, questioned me upbn the cause, and, only too thankful to unbosom myself of what was now almost a trouble, I told her about the dream and jts repetition. She had the t*«t pot to laugh at, me, but was evidently little impressed by the narrative. ’"A- i HBSSSfv.ti' .-Jr.:- -> - -

The third night it came again, if anything more vividMand startling than This tiniß I was Wtcriy tinhinged; the pale face that fronted me in the looking glass was hardly recognizable for my own. I went down to breakfast filled with a foreboding of some misfortune —bad news in my letters—l knew not what. The maid entered with the letter“Thcre,” said my wife, passing me a letter on which was the L—— postmark. “That breaks your dream, John.” I opened it hurriedly. It was from the agent, requesting me to meet him at L—- that day at 1 o’clock, to arrange a difficulty that had arisen in the performance of his contract. I was intensely relieved. Here was an opportunity to go to L , and perhaps, the very fact of going would put me right. There were two fast trains to L—- in the morning, but I decided to go by the first, regardless of the fact that I should have some hours to wait. So I found myself shortly in a firstclass compartment, speeding away towards my destination. The carriage was full. Pipes exhaled’ their fragrance, newspapers were turned and flattened, and there was that leisurely kind of morning conversation that prevails among men going off by an early train to their day’s work. I soon discovered that I had fallen amongst a party of barristers, and their* chief topic was a peculiarly interest ing case which was to be finished to-day at the L assizes. “He must sum up against the, prisoner,” said a gentleman with a fat, florid face and long sandy whiskers, who wore a light overcoat and shepherd’s plaid trousers. “The defense was a complete failure and deserved to be.” “It was certainly rather audacious,” returned a .clean-shaven young man with a double eye glass, who sat opposite me. “But I don’t like circumstantial evidence.” “All evidence is more or less circumstantial,” answered he of the florid complexion; “and this man is as clearly guilty to my mind as if there had been a dozen.witnesses to stand by and see him do the deed. That is my opinion, Hey wood.” And the oracle disappeared behind its newspaper. Feeling glad to discover any topic that would divert my thoughts from their gloomy forebodings, I addressed myself to Hey wood, the young barrister, with whom I had a slight acqnaintance. . ~—...—; ■■ — T “Yon seem much interested in this trial that is going on,” I said. “May I ask if you are engaged upon it?” “No*” he answered. “ But it is a curious ease, A man, a clerk, dismissed from his employment is accused, of murdering the cashier of the firm. The •evidence against him is entirely circumstantial, but the defense broke down at the most critical point, and the case certainly looks very black for the prisoner.” The train was now slackening speed, and there was a general rising. I rose too. “Are you going to get out here?” said Mr.‘Hey wood, opening the door as we glided into the station. “Have you come down so early on business ?” ‘ “Ye—es,”l said, wishing to goodness I knew what the immediate business was. “Nothing very urgent, though,” I added, half to myself, as I got out, “If you have the time to spare you had better turn in and hear the end of the trial,” said Heywood. “The court will bo crowded with ladies, no doubt, but I can smuggle you into a corner.” Not knowing what to do with myself for the next two hours, I accepted the offer with gratitude. I was soon seated in an obscure corner of the dingy, illlighted, ill-ventilated court-house, which would have been ill-smelling too, had it not been for the scent wafted from the numerous ladies present. One of these, a bnxom female obstruction, who ought to have known better, was just in front of me and blocked my view with an enormous bonnet. I could not see the prisoner or his counsel, or even the cloak over his head, at which the people kept looking eagerly as the hour fixed for the recommencement of the trial approached. At last there was a stir and bustle, caused by persons invisible to me, then a call for silence, and after a few preliminaries the summing up commenced. I listened the more intently because I could see nothing. The clear, cold, telling sentences cut deep into my consciousness. How distinct and convincing it all was! How all these minute facts, the mute testimony of footmarks and the like, arranged and distributed by that powerful intellect, grouped themselves into the damning proof of guilt. I cared nothing for the prisoner, had no personal interest in the trial, but rnv mind wqs wonderfully facinated by' this tale of horror. At length the weighty tones ceased and a mul-mur of expectation and relief rau-round the as’sembly. At tin’s moment the woman with the huge bonnet shifted her seat and I obtained a full view of the prisoner. I started involuntarily. Where had I seen that face before ? The jury returned after a short absence; the verdict was guilty, accompanied with a recommendation to mercy. Again the judge’s solemn tones sounded through the court; again they ceased. There was dead silence.. I sprang to my feet as if impelled to do so by .some unseen power, and looked steadily at the prisoner, pis face was averted from me for the moment, but the looks of the people showed that he was about to speak. Slowly he turned round and, in a voice whose deep, earnest tones could be heard all over the assen Joly, he said: “There lives but one man wbo can prove me innocent— and there he stands."

With white face and outstretched arm be; pointed—as I gazed' at him with a sudden flash of recognition. It was. the man I seen under the lamp. And, by a strange coincidence, at this moment the court clock struck 12. The plea that had been set by the defense was an alibi. But there was a space of some two Lours that could not be accounted for, and the theory of the prosecution was that the crime had been committed during that time. r, My evidence supplied "the missing link, for the place in which I had seen the man !~

was so far distaut from the scene of the murder that it was impossible for ''Aim to have been anywhere near at the tpne of'its commission. And the dream ? Only a coincidence, you will say, perhaps, or a fit "of indigestion, or my timber contract. Nevertheless, as I have Hold it to you, so it happened. Explain it away who can.

An Old Mexican City.

Chihuahua, the capital of the State, has from 15,000, to 18,000 inhabitants, and was once noted for its dullness; hut it is now rapidly improving, and is feeling, as all Mexican towns must feel, the stimulant of railroad enterprise, writes a correspondent of the Chicago Inter-Ocean. ■ The city is well laid out, having broad, well-paved streets, which cross at right angles. Here, for the first ’ and probably the last time while in Mexico, you will see the American omnibus and hack, whose drivers have little regard for anything except the money they think you owe them, whether you are rich or not. The depot of the Mexican Central Bailroad is over a mile from the center Sf the town, and this necessitates yonr riding in a carriage or taking a street car. The gity is quaint and curious, as are all Mexican tpwns, an,d dates back to the dose of the seventeenth century. It is said that in 1160 the Aztecs occupied the site of the town and erected upon it their temples. In the center of the town is the Plaza Major, which is an open plot of ground of about- the same size as one of the squares of Chicago. It is one of Chihuahua’s most attractive places, being tilled with flowers and surrounded by a tine walk, lined with seats, where both natives and foreigners gather twice a week a listen to the excellent music of the military band. Music is given every Thursday and Sunday evenings from 8 until 10 o'clock, and they are called music nights. Sunday evening is the principal music night of the week, and then the town can be seen at its best. It is then a very interesting place, being filled with gailydressed ladies and gentlemen of all ages, nationalities and countries, who • make this the pleasure evening of the week. There is none of the loud talking and laughing so common in the United States, all l>eing quiet and subdued, and all seeming to be enjoying themselves. It is certainly a very pretty sight to see the very brilliantlydressed ladies and gentlemen walking among the flowers, keeping step to the music of a fine orchestra, and all in the cool and invigorating air so common to this climate. According to the custom of the counti v,. the ladies, both young and old. promenade the plaza by walking around and around, always going from right to left, while the gentlemen all walk from left to right, thus meeting each other twice in going around the plaza once. This custom dates back to “time immemorial.” and is a part of the etiquette of the country. —Letter from Mexico:

Mr. Williams’ Sof' Spec.

At the Thompson Street Poker Club Rev. Thankful Smith was relating the experiences of the previous meeting, when, with the saddened air of one who had lost liis grip on his reputation. Mr. Tooter Williams and tlie odor of a Bowery cigar entered together. “What de madder, Toot?” inquired Mr. Smith, with the easy familiarity of a man in luck. “Y'ou looks ’spondent.” “I done loss dat sixty-fo’ dollahs 1 winned on de boss race,” responded Mr. Williams, gloomily. The deepest, interest having been aroused, Mr. Williams proceeded to enlighten the members as follows: “I was standin’ in a do'on Sixth avenyou, on’ np comes a wite man in a ping iiat, an’ sezee, ‘Why, heel-10, Mr. Robinson, how is yO?’ ” “Bunko!” remarked Mr. Smith, with the ail - of one who had had experience. “Dat’s wkad I thought,” said Mr. Williams, “but I kept sliet. So I sez to him, ‘How is yo?’ ” “I’se a -stranger yar, Mister Robin- . sofr,’ sezee, ‘an’ I mus’ say I never did see so many mokes togidder as dev is on Sixth auenyou, Dey’s mo’ mokes dan wite pussons.’ ‘Oh, no,’ sez I, ‘dey’s ms’ wite pussons dan mokes.’ Til bet yo’ two to one dev isn’t,’ «ezee. ‘All right,’ sez I. So off he goes an’ comesback wid a fren’ who weighed bout two hundred a bad eye/’ “Y'ou had a soP spec," obscfved'iMf/Smitli.

“Den,” continued Mr. Williams, not noticing the interruption, “sezee, ‘Now we’ll bofe put up a humled dollalis vis dis genelman, an’ stan’ yar in de do’, Every wite man passes he’ll give yo’ two dollahs, an’ every moke passes he’ll give me a dollak.’ ” “Well,” said Mr. Smith, who was growing excited. "Well, fust dey comes along two wite men, an’ de man wif debad eye says dat was fo’ dollahs to my credit. Den comes six wite men an’ he say dat’s twelve dollahs mo’ fo’ me. Den comes along along a buck niggali and den I lose a dollak. Den fo’ wife men mo; den one niggali; den two niggahs; den seven wite men, an’ de man wif de bad eye he say I was 1 fohty-dollahs ahead.” De sofes’ lay I ever hear,” said Mr. Smith, w hose eyes were glistening over Mr. Williams’ winnings. “Den comes along fo’ white meli,” said Mr. Williams, “an’ de man wif a bad eye he say dat was eight dollahs mo’, and den —” here Mr. Williams paused as if his recollections had overpowered him. “An’ den?” echoed everybody, wildly excited. “Why, den,” said Mr. Williams, desperately, “dey comes around de cornah—” “De cops?” breathlessly asked Mr. Smith. “A niggali fnner’l,” said Mr. Williams.

What is Presence of Mind?

At the closing of a concert in Bradford,while a young gentleman was struggling with his.hat, cane, overcoat, operaglasses and his young lady’s fan, all of which he was trying to retain on his lap, a suspicious-looking blaek bottle from the overcoat pocket fell on the floor with a loud thud. “There!*’ he exclaimed to hi» companion, “I shall lose my congh medicine.” That was presence of mine}.

THE BAD BOY.

“Say, come in here while 1 |pve you a piece of advice,” said the grocery man to the bad bov, as the youth entered the grocery one cpld morhlng, with an old veteran from the Soldiers’ Home, who went up to the coal Btove and nibbed his hands, and turning to the old veteran, the grocery man added, “No, sir, you can’t have any plug tobacco, unless you have got the money to plank right down on the counter, and I would rather you wouldn’t come here to trade any way, because you look hard, and smell frowsy, and my customers don't like to mix np with you.’’ The old veteran warmed his hands and went out, with a tear in his eye, and the groceryman took thebad boy to the back end of the store and said: “ You want to let the old soldiers alone. Ydur pa was in here last night, and lie said he was ashamed of you. He said he and your ma were out riding, find lie saw you walking np towards the Home with soldieis on each side of you, holding On your arms, and your pa thinks they were drunk. Now, von ought ho be ashamed. Let. those old soldiers alone. They are a bad lot,” and the groceryman acted as though he had been the means of saving the boy from a terrible fate. The boy was so mad he couldn’t speak for a minute, and then he said: “You and pa are a pretty crowd to go 1 back on soldiers, ain’t you ? How long ! lias it been since you were humping 1 yourself aronnd this town trying to hire a substitute to go to war for yotr?~ Then a soldier who volunteered was the noblest work of God, and you helped pass resolutions to the effect that the country owed a debt of gratitude to them that could never be paid. Every dollar pa has got, except what he won playing poker before he reformed, he got out of soldiers when he was sutler of a regiment. Every mouthful I eat now is the price of a soldier’s wages, who spent his money with pa for brandy-peaches and sardines. Pa wasn’t ashamed of soldiers then, when they got drunk on brandy-peaches he sold to them, and at that time a soldier would have been welcome to a plug of tobacco out of your store, and now you turn an old wounded veteran out of your store because he hasn’t got 5 cents to buy tobacco. ” “There, there, ” said the grocery man, becoming ashamed of himself. “You don’t understand your pa’s situation, or mine, you see ” “Yes, I see,” said the bad boy, “Isee it all just as plain as can be, and it is my turn to talk, and I am going to talk. The time is passed when you need the soldier. When you wanted him to stand between you and the Tif the enemy," he was a thoroughbred, and you smiled when he came in the store, and asked him to have a cigar. When he was wounded you hustled aronnd and got together sanitary stores, such as sauerkraut and playing cards, and sent them to him by the fastest express, and yon prayed for mm, and when he 1 ad whipped the ’ enemy you welcomed him home with open arms and said there was nothing too good for him forever after. He should always bs? remembered, his children should be cared for and educated, and all that. Now he is old, his children have died or grown up and gone West, and you do not welcome him any more. He comes in here on his wooden leg, and all you think of is whether he has got any pension money left. His old eyes are so weak he cannot see the sneer with which you, drafted patriot, who sent a substitute I to war, looks at him as he asks you for I a plug of tobacco and agrees to pay you I when he draws his next pension, and he : goes out with a p.rin in his great big heart such as you will never feel unless you have some codfish spoil on your hands Bah! You patriots make me tired.” “You are pretty hard On us,” and the groeerymaii acted hurt. “ The Government paid the soldiers, and gives them pensions, and all that, and they ought to know better than to get drunk. ” “Paid them,” said the boy, indignantly. “What is $4 a month pension to a man who has lost his arm, or who has bullet holes all over him? If a train runs over a man’s leg, the railroad is in luck if it does not. have to pay SIO,OOO. What does the soldier get? He gets left half the time. I Sin*opposed to ;Xiepple as long as pa and lots of the best people in town get drunk when they feel like it, why is it worse Tor an old soldier, who lias no other way to have fun and feel rich, to get drunk ? If you had to live at the Soldiers’ Home, and work on the road, and do farm work, for your board, yon would get full as’ a goose when you came to town. Outside of the Home grounds the old soldier feels free. Ho I looks at the bright .sunshine; inhales i God’s free air, walks ppriglit toward ! town, and, just as his old wound begins } to ache, lie sees a beer sign, and instead j of the words * man that is born of | woman is of few days and full of : woe,’ coming to his mind, hj? thinks of ! the words of the Constitution, ‘ all men are born free and equal, endowed with certain inalienable rights, among which are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness,’ and be goes in and orders a schooner of beer, like a white man. The saloon is the only place on God’s green earth where the old wounded veteran is free and equal, and ho makes the inost of it. When he gets full lie is the prey of foolish boys, like fire bugs, who have fun jeering him, and they snow-ball him, and say, ‘look at the old drunkip-d.’ If he lavs down on the railroad track and is killed by the cars, you read in the paper of ‘another veteran killed.’ Your only anxiety is as •to whether he is the same euss yo l trusted for the tobacco last summer, and the soldier is buried without a tear. .Now,.! have had it .jfeftYC mt? iae_bjr the conversation of people older than ine, by newspapers and by resolutions that have been passed before I was born* that a soldier is one of the salt of the earth. Y r ou may say that the idea is outlawed, and that when you have got throngli having use for a soldier that lie becomes a thing unworthy to bo recognized, bat as long oa I live a man who fought to save n»y country can have a share of what I hayo got, and I will help him home when lie is full of benzine, and whip any hoy

that throws snow-balls at liun, or cadis him names, if you and pa and the whole gang goes J&ack an igp, and don’t you for get it. The failed blue overcoat of the veteran looks better to me, if I mil bad, than the swallow-tail coat of the dude, the diamonds of the millionaire, or the sneers of the darn fools who have no souls. Yon can all class me with barn burners, and cruel sons of rich people who have no hearts, but the smile of pleasure on the face of en old veteran when I speak kindly to him, and the tear of joy that comes from the broken heart and plows its way down the furrows of his cheek, as he searches in his pocket for a red bandana handkerchief, makes me feel us though I owned a brewery.” “Say, hold on, Hennery,” said the grocery man, as his eyes became dim, “You go out and call that soldier back and tell him he is a friend of mine. By gum, I never felt so much like a pirate in my life. You are right. The old soldiers are not to blame for taking in a little too much benzine once in a while. If wc were all bunged up, and had ho homes of our own, and were looked upon by a good many people as though they thought it was time we died and were got out of the* way, we would get bjling drunk, and paint the town red. Why, when these same soldiers enlisted, and were quartered in town, or were passing through on their way to the front, we used to think it was darned smart when they got on a tear and m de things howl, and we would have lynched a policeman that tried to arrest the boys. I had forgot that these were the same boys, these old felloes that go limping around. Hennery, you have learned me a lesson, and' I shall be proud hereafter to see you kind to an old soldier, even if he is drunk, and if your pa says any more about bringing disgrace on the family by being seen with old soldiers, I will hit him in the ear and twit him with being a sutler in the army.” “Well, that is all right,” said the bad boy, as he started to go; “but don’t you ever act sassy again when an old soldier comes inhere to get warm; and if he wants a plug of tobacco and hasn’t got the money, you let him have it, just as though he owned a block of buildings, and if he forgets to pay for it, I will bring in coal or saw wood for you to pay for it,” and Hennery went out whistling “We’ll all get blind drunk when Johnny comes marching 'home,” and then he explained that the song was very popular a few years ago, when people were so glad to have the soldiers come home that some, of the best citizens got drunk.— Peck's Sun.

Window Gardening.

Perhaps every one is not aware that the coldest place for plants at night is at a window, just whe e the plant stand is stationed. All dwellings are not new, and all new ones are not proof against the attacks of cold. In old. houses the windows become loose with the wear and tear of years. There are cracks and cr’evices where a small current of air penetrates, and where the frost steadily creeps in and seizes the green leaves. To guard against this, paste a narrow slip of paper over every crevice that admits a passage of air from without. The unsoiled margin of newspapers is good for this purpose, as the texture is light and thin and easily adheres to the wood. Give it a trial, but do not select a cold freezing day -for this work. This saves the trouble of moving tlie plants at night, and assures their safety in very cold weather. Our climate is subject to sudden and uulooked for changes, and often one night will destroy a whole winter’s care, and ruin hopeful prospects, wheu we think our security good. It is well to be prepared for these emergencies of our latitude. r Some complain that their plants grow spindling and do not bloom. One fault is too much heat and too much water; when this is the ease they will grow sickly, and we often hear the remark, “I can’t keep plants, they don’t do well.” You want strong but grow thy plants to secure beauty and bloom. Every day when plants are watered they should be turned, thus they can be ke ; ,t even and shapely, by allowing every side the advantage of the sun. A jdip will grow during the winter and become a large flowering plant if watered and well cared for. —Floral Instructor.

French Schools.

A prominent feature of republican France is the attention which is paid to education. Between 1870 and 1881,16,07. S schools Rave been erected, at an average cost of $2,600. Iu a recent statement M. Jules Ferry said, in vindication of the money spent on education by tlie Government, that there was not a village church but cost SB,OUO, and that the school was of equal value. Twenty years ago the ambition was to erect churches. Now it is to erect vears it is expected that 40,000 schools will be erected throughout the country, at a cost of $60,000,000 to the localities and $140,000,000 to the state. In the event of any garish proving contumacious the Prefects are invested with compulsory authority. The school buildings are to be modeled after the best patterns of those of England, Saxony, Belgium and Wurtomburg, and the value of the playground is much insisted upon. There cau be no two opinions as to the value of education to the republic, but it will be a misfortune if education is divorced from religion. —New York Herald.

Window Plants.

Cheeping plants are not hatlf enough used for house decoration. "What can be prettier than a window with a pot in which scarlet .tropaiolum has been trained up a stake some six feet high on each side of it, the top shoots of the plants brought across and attached .to each other so as to form an arch? Clematis can be so treat d with advantage; it ought to grow to the desired height under the gardener’s care, and only be brought in when in full beauty, as the conditions of light and air in a dwelling house are gem-rail •• against quickgrowmg plants.— Exchange* % Hope is a flatterer, but the most unright of aft parasites;-for shefrequents the poor man’s hut as well as the palace of his superior. —Nh enston e.

PITH AND POINT.

A /guilt frame—The prison-window. Quick at figures—The dancing master. A modern lock’s-myth—A woman's hair. Never step on a barrel hoop when it is down. Bank sigh—The moan of an onioneating lover. A missing eollar-button causes a man to let out his choler. Quite frightful—Nihilism is not the worst evil of Russia. The women are said to’be addicted to china-painting. A Philadelphia girl has patented a machine which will make a gallon of ice-cream a minute. She calls it the Mary Andereon freezer. t Darwinian theory: There is a boy in Norristown who “sprang from a monkey.” The monkey belonged to an or-gan-grinder and attempted to bite the boy. —Cape Ann Advertiser. “When I married Georgiana,” said Frank, “my folks told me I was foolish to wed a girl who didn’t know how to handle a rolling-pin. Lord, how they misjudged her! Do vcm see that lump on my head ?” - . - A YOUNG man having asked a girl it he might go home with her from the singing class and been refused, said: “You are as full of airs as a music-box.” “Perhaps so,” she retortpd; “but if I am I don’t go with a craiik.” “Oh, papa,.dear, I wish you’d come home. I’m really afraid mamma has taken a drop too much ” “Gracious heavens, child, what do yon mean?” “That new homeopathic medicine, you know, I’m afraid I’ve given her seven •drops instead of six.” Fifteen years ago an Alabama man killed a peddler. Ever since that time his wife has held the crime over him as a whip, obliging him to split all the wood, build the fires, and rock the baby. Rendered desperate by her treatment lie has given himself up to be hanged. ' Mr. Cushing has found ancient cigarettes of cane and corn-leaves in the caverns of Zuniland, proving that the cigarette was known in America fully two thousand years ago. As all those prehistoric smokers are dead now, the dangerous nature of the practice is ap: parent to the meanest intellect.— Rochester Post-Express. The New York Journal is asked : "If a youth is engaged to a young lady whose ‘father shuffles off,’ what is the youth's place at the funeral ?” This i 3 a somewhat difficult question to answei; but if the youth were to “shuffle off” there would be no trouble to determine his position at the funeral. He would fall in immediately behind the clergyman. “How is it you never married, Charley ?” “Oh, I donlt know, except that I remained single from choice.” “Why, I heard that you tried to get that Podkins girl a year or two ago?” “Yes, I did ask her to marry me.” “And she wouldn’t have you ?” “That’s about the size of it. So I remained single from choice—her choice, you know.”— Poston Transcript. Montaigne—who is now deceased, we believe—said: “There is no torture that a woman would not’suffer to enhance her beauty.” But we don’t believe a woman would suffer the torture of seeding her husband come to the opera with a strange lady, when he told her, as he left the house in the evening, that he would be down at the office until midnight and she need not wait up for him. Not more than once. . - . l IE any man ever contemplated a visijs to the dentist, he will remember that! he suffered ah eternity before tlie* fang came, and the twentieth part of a second when it did come. Not so about getting married. When a man contemplates getting married he will remember that he fairly rolled in the sweetest of love’s embraces but when the mother-in-law fang was visible to the wellclothed eye, he suffeied torment of the aching tooth.— Carl Pretzel's Weekl y..: —_ A member of the English House of Commons, who had been payiug attention to a young lady for a long while, had taken her to attend the House until she was perfectly posted up: in its .rules. On the last day of the session as they came out ho bought her a bouquet, handful of flowers?” Promptly.she replied, “I move to amend by ommittiug all after the word hand.” He bltishingly accepted the amendment, and they adopted it unanimously. “Ah, here is a bright tiling,” said Mrs. Shuttle, as she looked up from the newspaper. “Mr. MeCosli suggests that Carlyle’s epitaph be: ‘Here i ie3 one who gave force to the English tongue.’ ” “Yes, yes," said Job, looking up from his visions in the grate fire, “a mighty bright idea. Wonder if I should be accused of plagiarism if I should inscribe it -on your tombstone.” “I intend to take very good care that you don’t see my tombstone. I’ll out- . live you, so there. Now, see if I don’t. .Hatefulne’ss!”

Some Queer Notions.

The old Jewish doctors entertained some queer notions in regard to fingernails. A favorite theory was that before Adam’s fall the bodies of the first parents were perfectly transparent, and that the nails are the vestige left of man’s estate in the garden of Eden. Instances have been observed of nails - growing on the stumps of amputated fingers, and when the coffin containing the corpse of the great Napoleon was. opened long after his death at St. Helena, his toe-nails had grown clear through his boots, aud bis hair .stuck through the chinks of tho coffin— Laramie Boomerang. - 1—_ x. The educational statistics of tho British' army show that out of every 1,000soldiers 30 can neither read nor write, 28 can read but not write, ISC can read and write, while 756 are of superior education. Twenty years ago 134 could neither read nor’ write, 173 could read but not write, 641 could just read and write, while 52 only Were of superior’ education. £ Richest is he who wants least.