Rensselaer Republican, Volume 16, Number 17, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 3 January 1884 — PITH AND POINT. [ARTICLE]

PITH AND POINT.

iFrom Peck's Sun.! The “dude” is a thing of the past. It is a “cipher” now. Nature is kind'to her children, and generally provides for their needs. A soap mine has brien discovered in Dakota. They are vaccinating the Indians of Alaska. If vaccination will prevent Indians breaking out, let the doctors tackle the Apaches. Alt exchange says that “If Moses had been a Jersey man, it would be a very easy matter to tell where he was when the light went out. He would have been down in the cellar sampling applejack." Wouldn’t he have been in the dark when the light went ont ? has a girl lecturer, only 7 years of age. The New York Journal, after hearing of this prodigy, very feelingry remarks: “It wero better for the youth who will one day be her husband that a millstone were hung around his neck, and that he were cast into the sea.” Marysville, Cal., sends the startling intelligence abroad over "the country, “That boys of that place catch rats with a fish-hook and line.” That may be wonderful, but there are a hundred places in the county where boys with a fish-hook and line, not only catch a cold, but many times they catch a licking. California isn’t so much ahead in this fish-line business after all. The papers never cease to tell funny stories on the churches that secure musicians to entertain the congregation. The latest story comeafrom the east. A. Baptist "church secured a cornet player, and Hie minister told the man to play something appropriate while the baptismal service was being performed- Just as tho good man led a convert down into the water the cornet struck up the old tune, “Pull for the Shore.” The minister was so mad he was fairly wet. {From Texas Slftlues.] A horse-thief in jail is worth two in the brush. There is one cheering reflection connected with the subject of cremation. If it ever becomes general, callow i®ets will quit chanting their lays about the cold, cold grave. It would never do in the world s to put the telegraph wires under ground out in Wyoming. The citizens need them to string up their horse thieves and murderers on. “I am given to understand that Mr. Chas. A. Dana is considered quite a fluent Writer, ” observed ail Englisl 1 geritleman to an American tourist; “Aftlufluent writer! I should say he was. Worth over two million dollars aud sports a SIO,OOO coop of game cocks. Affluent writer j Well, I should say so.” A State University student was pensively leaning against the Court House, when one of his schoolmates came up and addressed him as “professor.” “O, please don’t do that again.” said Ibe [ first student imploringly. " Why not ?” i inquired the other with no srnail degree of surprise. “Why people will think I don’t know anything.” A man in Illinois was arrested and fined $25 for disturbing a ward meeting. We should like to know him. The man who has got the voice nnd i energy to disturb a ward meeting, provided the latter is healthy and active in ! its diabolical mission, is worthy of our acquaintance, and ought to be given a Government position as a fog-horn on a : stern and rock-bonnd coast. •Don’t yon feel the need of the pro- [ taction of the Lord?” inquired an itinerant elder of a boy lounging in front i of a dwelling adjacent to a hard-looking saloon. “Well, no,” answered theyouth, “we don't feel the need of liim much during the week, but we do shiver around , some Saturday nights when the cowboys : come into town and get drunk at the saloon. We kind o’ look toward the Lord at those times.” “What will we play now?" inquired a little Austin boy of ius companion, after they had exhausted all known* 1 remedies in the way of games. “Let’s play Legislature.” “How do you play it ?” “Why, call me.” , 3 J “Cali you! What shall I call you, Tommv V “N 6. no; you just call me and I'll show down.” “Show what down.” “O, pshaw! If yon don’t know how to play Legislature, how do yon expect to do anything toward governing the people when yon get to be a man ?"