Rensselaer Republican, Volume 16, Number 14, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 13 December 1883 — A Patent Car-Coupler. [ARTICLE]

A Patent Car-Coupler.

There will never come a time When the headquarters office ofa railroad line will not receive at least one visit per' week from the man with a patent carcouplpr. . During the last fifteen years he has called about four times a week, and that average is being maintained in a way to wear out hall carpets as fast as manufacturers can desire. The car-couplerj are not all alike, but the inventors are. The programme is as regular as if it had been adopted by a large majority. The inventor asks for the President of the road and is shown to the office: - - -- - - “Good morning. Is the President »in?” ' “No, sir; he won’t be in until after dinner. Anything special ?” / “Well, rather special. I have invented ” “Ah! A. patent car-coupler! You must go to the General ,Superintendent. ” “It’s the biggest thing of the kind ever heard of.” “Yes, I know, but you’ll find him four doors down the hall.” The inventor opens the fourth door and a clerk inquires: “What is your business?” “Well, I had a lame foot last summer and couldn’t do much of any work, and so I set about it and —-” . 7 - “Invented a car-coupler, of course! The General Superintendent is not in. The third door to the left for the Assistant. ” The third door opens to reveal an attendant ready to inquire what is wanted: “Well, being I had got to come to town to buy myself somehickory shirting, I thought I might as well bring along ” . ■ ■ • “Your patent car-coupler. We were “expecting you. Go down to the yardmaster. ” “Everybody in our town says this is the biggest thing ever invented, and I reckon ” “Right this way to go down to the yard-master’s office. ” The yard-master isn’t in. The train dispatcher won’t ’ listen. The gatekeeper has no time. The depot policeman may look at the invention some other day. When he entered the depot with that patent coupler under his arm his mind was made up to let the Michigan Central or Lake Shore put it on their cars for $50,000 cash down. Two hours have done the business for him, and as he starts up town the coupler is recklessly thrown under a seat in the waiting-rOom and the inventor hopes from the tops of his boots that somebody will steal it before he gets back. Detroit Free Press.