Rensselaer Republican, Volume 16, Number 14, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 13 December 1883 — PITH AND POINT. [ARTICLE]

PITH AND POINT.

/ [From Peck’s Sun.] Women may not all be good poker players, bfit they are generally good with the tongs. Yes, and tongues too. “Gone to bury my wife; will be back in thirty minutes,” is the notice found bn a door up in Michigan. Itis evident the wife was buried by the rapid transit company, f . '■ .Talmage wants a piece policy carried 'out among the Mormons, and thinks General Sheridan the man to make the pieces. That is if they want to stamp put the institution-of polygamy so that not a piece of it as large as a sixpence . is left. i > After wrangling for two days without giving signs of coming to an agreement, a Montana jury was brought to an agreement in just about seven minutes after the Sheriff had told them that there was to be a horse race in about an hour. A hen-pecked man can generally stand the racket without any very serious results, but a woman can’t. A hen recently pecked a Pennsylvania woman’s right arm, since which time she has been unable to use it. A henpecked woman is a failure. New York father was opposed to his son getting married and as a last resort seized' on the young man’s wedding garments. . The wedding was postponed. Let’s see. There is a story in a very ancient and revered book which tells of a young man being cast out of a marriage assembly because he had .no wedding garment. The yopng map did well to postpone the marriage, under the circumstances. It is said that the King of Siam, who is only a boy of 20 years, has allowed his finger nails to grow until they are more than a foot in length. This deformity reduces the monarch to a state of helplessness, and for that reason, probably, the Siamese regard long nails as one of the peculiar attributes of sovereignty. There are several boys of twenty, in this country who are apparently “helpless” judging by the way their fathers have to “put up” for them, and there is nothing peculiar about their finger nails either, unless it is t the strip of mourning under the edges. Siam can’t get ahead of America on the “helpless” boy question. [From the Fort Wayne Hoosier.l Sound doctrine—the church bells must go. At a recent duel it required only two seconds to draw up the minutes of the affair. He who pays more attention to his hat than his head shows which is most valuable and which contains the more. Inasmuch as hc wafrabTe to make an unabridged dictionary, it was inferred that Webster never found a man who kept his word. Although they seem to be eternally opening new veins in Colorado, the State is not liable to be bled to death. We can’t say the same for the 'stockholders of the mine, however._L__ “Mr. Joughnes, I hear that your wife has run away. Is it true?” “Yes, it’s a fact.” “Well, ain’t you going to run after her?” “Oh, no. If I did there would l»e two fools in the race.” “James, I hear that our mutual friend, Habberton,has married the widow Mayhem." “It’s a fact, and she's worth $50,000.” “He surely couldn’t have been attracted by her face.” “Oh, dear, no; it was her figure.” “Harry,” said a Calhoun street coun-ter-jumper to another, “when am I thinner than a shingle?" “You always are.” “Oh, come now, that is not the answer. Do you give it up?” “Yes. Whetrare you?” “When I’m a shaving.” ThE natives of a portion of Australia believe that after death they return as white men. One of them once about to be hung on the scaffold said: “Nebber mind. I’ll make one jump and come back white man with plenty of sixpence.”