Rensselaer Republican, Volume 16, Number 12, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 29 November 1883 — Comparative Happiness. [ARTICLE]

Comparative Happiness.

A hard-working Stammer met an honest Corn down at the seashore during the hot days. “And wh-wh-wh-whht have you been dud-dud-dud-doing -with yourself all su-su-su-summer-summer?” he asked, deliberately. The Corn waited for the end of the procession with beautiful patience. “Oh,” he said, with a laugh that “1.-tows had lots of fun. Early in the spring, when the weather Was damp, I settled down on a fat man with the asthma. He couldn’t get down on his knees without crying, anti I pre-emptied a claim a little on the other side of his off toe, on the outside range, Every night when he got down to have a catchweight rastle with me, I laughed till I was nearly dead. He used to lie on his back, hold his feet above his head, and slash at me with a razor. You never saw anything so funny in your life.” “Oh, dud-dud-dud-dud didn’t I, then?” replied the Stammer, slowly. “You wuh-wuh-wuh-wuh-wait a mumminute. I fooled-fooled-fooled around wuh-with a tut-teacher of elocution nun-nun-nearly all wuh-winter, and then right in the bub-bub-busy spring suh-season I cuc-cuc-caught a down tut-tut-tut-town auctioneer bub-by the ehuh-chuh-chin, and th-throwed the cue crowd into cuc-convulsions suh-suh-six tut-times a week. Oh, nun-no! I dud-dud-don’t h-have no good times. I lu-lu-Ju-look solemn and I tet-talk slow, but I ain’t so s-s-slow as I Inlook.”—San Francisco Argonaut.